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Gender Dysphoria - Printable Version

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RE: Gender Dysphoria - Lisa Lou - 03-02-2014

Clara wrote in a post that we are family. I have reflected on that and it is true in so many ways... a 'virtual family.' We share things most of us would not share with anyone else, we joke with each other, we bare our souls, we listen, give counsel and suggestions, and most of all, we support each other on this journey.

If you read through threads in the mostly GG contribution area, there is a lot of snippiness... no, bitchiness! Angry I've said some pretty dumb shit on this area of the site, mostly attempts at humor, and have yet to be called out, criticized, or "flamed." (apologies Flamesabers! I might like it if you Flamed me! Big Grin ).

Look for the most part how tolerant, accepting, understanding, encouraging and caring we are... Hell, based on societal "norms," we're more female acting than a lot of females! Tongue

I am so thankful for Eve allowing us space on the site and a place to be us. I am so, so thankful for each of my sisters who tolerate my silliness, support and encourage me on the journey, and give those great tata growing tips! This is truly a safe and comforting place. Thank you all!

Just my $.02.

Thanks SISTERS!
Lisa, the GBB


RE: Gender Dysphoria - flamesabers - 03-02-2014

(03-02-2014, 12:13 PM)Lisa Lou Wrote:  If you read through threads in the mostly GG contribution area, there is a lot of snippiness... no, bitchiness! Angry I've said some pretty dumb shit on this area of the site, mostly attempts at humor, and have yet to be called out, criticized, or "flamed." (apologies Flamesabers! I might like it if you Flamed me! Big Grin ).

Using my name in vain? Blasphemer! Angry

Honestly though, it's amusing and I'm somewhat surprised this isn't an issue more often. Wink

I think it's important to note our section of the forum has had its rough patches. Less than two months ago, Doodle and others expressed strong sentiment about not feeling comfortable here anymore.

http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=17270

I myself certainly had doubts when it was looking like the content on the forum was going sour.

(03-02-2014, 12:13 PM)Lisa Lou Wrote:  I am so thankful for Eve allowing us space on the site and a place to be us. I am so, so thankful for each of my sisters who tolerate my silliness, support and encourage me on the journey, and give those great tata growing tips! This is truly a safe and comforting place. Thank you all!

Yes, I agree. This has become a very special place to express my transgender self over the last two years or so. Smile




RE: Gender Dysphoria - Samantha Rogers - 03-02-2014

Maybe it would be a nice touch if some of us thanked her in some personal messages? On the other hand, it might be nice to spare her some time(I would imagine she is pretty busy) and send one really eloquent message with all our names attached. Thoughts?


RE: Gender Dysphoria - Robbin - 03-02-2014

I'm so happy everyone contributed in expressing there feelings. When I growing up my sexual talk from my dad was " here son I will show you an x-rated movie". That is how I first learned about sex. For me masturbation started out at a very young age.
I always felt emotional helping people caring about there feelings. I was not easy growing up my father was an alcoholic would always put me down . Hurt my mom
physical and emotional. I never told any one about this , but when I was younger I use to take showers with my dad on time which really hurt me. He told me you are kinda small down there in the private area. I did not think much of it at the time.
but later in life after a guy almost raped me. By sending me mixed messages of porno movies playing while he came on to me. By coming in back of me first starting to play with my nipples and messing with my mind. Then everything just grew from there which let for me giving oral sex to him. half way through I ran out of his house.
to top it off the kid that was doing this to me , was my best friend. I, m about 5".5 inches in my privates I'm not that small. But because of the mixed messages I started developing insecurities and shyness. So my learn in school was not up to standards so I was put in special education . What really hurt the class room was in the regular school . You can see how that worked out I got picked on was called many names . All this played a big part when I got older when I went on dated .
I could not relax around woman and I brought the wrong signals out to them. Istarted thinking I was gay. This is a on going problem and because of my dad addictions it was like a shield that covered all this up about my problems. I started taking control got into self help books . Working out I got a black belt in diffrent martial arts. Worked on building up my body did p90x and all that.
But I never could relax sexually around woman . The masturbation did not help there is a lot more to this story . It feels good to talk about it. Then I looked into pm read about . I really love how I'm more relaxed around people now I can really open up more . I guess its the girl side of me allowing me to do this through taking pm. Nobody knows this side of me except you girls. Thank you for giving me this time to talk about it .

sincerely
Robbin


RE: Gender Dysphoria - Samantha Rogers - 03-02-2014

Robbin, honey, sweetheart, it breaks my heart listening to your story. All kids should be protected and nurtured and loved. But there is no training or test required to become a parent. In a way, we are all the victims or beneficiaries of the parenting skills (or lack of skills) of our parents. We initially learn to love (and I mean that as a verb, not a noun, because love is an action directed toward those for whom we care, far more so than a feeling we experience) from our parents. But many (often because they themselves never learned real love from their parents) are incapable of conveying true love to their children, and often what they give instead is the twisted by product of how their life formed them. And so it goes on and on and on, often tragically. It is so heartbreaking. There is so much pain, and there are so many souls desperate in their isolation and fear, and lacking the skills to find hope. The way it stops, is when somewhere, somehow, in the chain of generations, someone finds help, either through good fortune or by finding the courage to step forward and admit that they need help. No child is to blame, and yet the misplaced guilt and shame of things for which they bare no responsibility haunts them and tears at them often for their entire lives. We all need help sometime. We all need love, honey.
Many people have helped me (not least by any means the beautiful people on this board). I hope in some small way we are of help and solace to you, sweetheart. But it sounds to me as though you have a weight on your soul that needs a little more in the way of real hugs, love and counseling than we can possibly give with our cyber hugs. Oh, we are here for you...make no mistake. But I want you to find the real thing and someone who can help you heal those wounds. I hope you find it, darling. I really do. You deserve it honey, you deserve it.
Hugs


RE: Gender Dysphoria - GoneGirl - 03-02-2014

Robbin dear, no one can do a better job of expressing how much we empathize with your suffering than, Samantha can. I will just throw in my personal words of encouragement for what they're worth. I'm sure, even here, it's difficult to bring up a history of sexual abuse, especially when it was committed by a parent. The damage that can be done to a child's self-esteem and future sexual relationships is heart breaking. I'm sure many of us, as children, were exposed to sex in ways that messed up our lives to one degree or another. And, like me, we often struggle with the effects of those experiences late into life. The worst part of it is the shame and guilt that won't leave us alone.

Thank you for sharing your story, Robbin, and be assured that you'll find plenty of support here to help in any way that we can.

A gentle hug,

Clara Kay


RE: Gender Dysphoria - Robbin - 03-02-2014

Samantha, clara,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time out of your busy lives to not only read about what happened to me. But write the most beautiful response to what I wrote. Everybody have hardships and every one needs friends
I'm glad I have both .because if I didn't I would not have met you both.

Robbin




RE: Gender Dysphoria - AnnieBL - 04-02-2014

Right from its beginning, I thought about posting here my own account of my gender odyssey, but one way or another I've already posted much of it in bits and pieces, and I am now far too humbled by the accounts that people have posted here and the truly harrowing difficulties they have endured. By comparison I feel that I have been very lucky, and even when things have looked impossibly bad, help has always eventually emerged, sometimes from very unexpected quarters. Not least of my good fortune was finding this site. What with my stiff upper lip upbringing and other factors, I've always had difficulty in expressing emotional support in a demonstrative way, but believe me, I do feel deeply for all of you who have suffered not only from your gender issues but abuse and misfortune of various other kinds, and please imagine that feeling translated into at least cyber-hugs. Smile And thank you Clara and Sammie for doing so well what I can't do at all well. Clara, when I first welcomed you here I had no idea of the insight you would bring to us all, nor did I at first realize how much I would come to appreciate your posts, Sammie.

The thought that we should find some way to say thank-you to Eve has been on my mind also, and was also raised in Sammie's "Are we going to get in trouble thread', but we still have the problem of how to go about it...




RE: Gender Dysphoria - GoneGirl - 04-02-2014

(04-02-2014, 02:55 AM)AnnabelP Wrote:  Clara, when I first welcomed you here I had no idea of the insight you would bring to us all, nor did I at first realize how much I would come to appreciate your posts, Sammie.

Thank you, Annie (can I call you that?), I had no idea either. There's a synergy among the members of this forum. By that I mean that together, we're bigger than the sum of our individual contributions. We bring out the best in each of us to the betterment of us all. That's so cool!

Hugs to all,

Clara


RE: Gender Dysphoria - Samantha Rogers - 04-02-2014

Well, Annabel, as EVERYONE here knows, Sammie has no trouble letting emotions out, rather the opposite...LOL... I can't seem to control mine at all. Tee hee.
When I brought up that odd question a while back about how people see themselves as TV characters, the thread that Sarah thought so weird, and which went completely off the rails from where I intended, I was trying to broach the idea that each of us has a unique and beautiful contribution to make to this oddly wonderful little cyber family. Rather than risk offending anyone with my own characterizations of each of us and how we each fit in here, I was hoping everyone would self characterize. No matter, it was a little silly...tee hee... But, we do each bring something special, and in uniquely personal ways even magical to the table we all sit at together here. And yours is in many ways the most unique of all, and I love taking in your experiences and the wise insights that you share.
It is a little like when I took my first theatre class in college and immediately felt at home. For years I joked that it was because acting classes were great places to meet girls, LOL, but the truth was that everyone there was there because something about them made it hard to fit in anywhere else, but somehow we all fit together in that place just fine. It was like being home. Home.
That's the place, no matter where it is geographically, where you are with the people you love, and who love you, warts and all, knowing full well every little secret you have. They love you anyway. Home.
This board is a little like that. It's home. A home most of us never really found anywhere else. And like every weird family there is a whole host of characters...crazy uncles and aunts, odd cousins, disjointed, eccentric relationships etc, and there is love. Unconditional, giving, accepting love.
For that, I for one am forever grateful.
Shit, there go the emotions again...LOL...
'Scuse me, I have to get a kleenex. LOL
Hugs