04-01-2017, 10:03 PM
I had quite a nice experience today which left me with very pleasant feeling. Being mostly in a closet, I don't have anyone else to share it with. So I'll share it here 
.
Since morning I had higher level of anxiety, which I always have after withdrawing PM for several days. Moreover, I have to attend a certain conference where I usually meet colleagues from other cities and departments and I am aware that since the last year my appearance and behaviour changed more than a little bit and during last months people started to comment...
What happened?
I went to a cafe to have a mug of latte coffee. I immediately noticed one acquaintance of mine whom I hadn't seen for at least a year. I wanted to be friendly so I smiled and waved at him. He smiled back, but with a puzzled look and facial expression of "I don't know who it is, but I will pretend I know". I've never encountered anything like that, but he whispered to himself: "It is... no, it can't be... but yes, it is!" Then he finally recognized me and he just explained: "I just thought: why that beautiful girl is waving at me... and it was you." Than it was my turn to be surprised, I was able to respond only with faked 'sarcastic': "Well... thank you." I proceeded with my business, but when he prepared to leave the cafe he went to me and repeated: "I just thought you were some beautiful girl... maybe it was because you stood in the shadow," and he left. But while leaving he looked at me several times quite curiously. There was not a shadow when I previously stood, the whole interior was were lit.
During last 8 months or so I have been gendered as female only handful of times. I present as male. It is true that recently I have more feminine mannerism, but strangers consider me a male, or at least it seems so most of the time. I've never experienced that people from my past did not recognize me. It left me with very nice feeling. My anxiety suddenly disappeared. On the other side I don't know how to react in such situations. I don't want to out myself, but when someone considers me a woman I immediately start to behave even more feminine...
Anyways, it was pleasant experience
.
. Since morning I had higher level of anxiety, which I always have after withdrawing PM for several days. Moreover, I have to attend a certain conference where I usually meet colleagues from other cities and departments and I am aware that since the last year my appearance and behaviour changed more than a little bit and during last months people started to comment...
What happened?
I went to a cafe to have a mug of latte coffee. I immediately noticed one acquaintance of mine whom I hadn't seen for at least a year. I wanted to be friendly so I smiled and waved at him. He smiled back, but with a puzzled look and facial expression of "I don't know who it is, but I will pretend I know". I've never encountered anything like that, but he whispered to himself: "It is... no, it can't be... but yes, it is!" Then he finally recognized me and he just explained: "I just thought: why that beautiful girl is waving at me... and it was you." Than it was my turn to be surprised, I was able to respond only with faked 'sarcastic': "Well... thank you." I proceeded with my business, but when he prepared to leave the cafe he went to me and repeated: "I just thought you were some beautiful girl... maybe it was because you stood in the shadow," and he left. But while leaving he looked at me several times quite curiously. There was not a shadow when I previously stood, the whole interior was were lit.
During last 8 months or so I have been gendered as female only handful of times. I present as male. It is true that recently I have more feminine mannerism, but strangers consider me a male, or at least it seems so most of the time. I've never experienced that people from my past did not recognize me. It left me with very nice feeling. My anxiety suddenly disappeared. On the other side I don't know how to react in such situations. I don't want to out myself, but when someone considers me a woman I immediately start to behave even more feminine...
Anyways, it was pleasant experience
.