05-01-2017, 11:33 PM
Julie> For me there are still several barriers I have to overcome to be able to do something similar to what you've described. Unfortunately, I am very slow in leaving my comfort zone. And please, don't remind me the shoes... and my Franken-feet. 
Whitney> Well, it is hard to describe... Several months ago my girlfriend begun to comment that my gestures is more feminine. Later, maybe a month ago when I finally consciously accepted that my desire to feminize is just a reflection of deeper identity issues. And I came to conclusion that my identity is predominantly feminine. Since then I've remembered many suppressed memories and I realised that for long time I had to consciously learn to behave in masculine manner - mannerism, way of speaking etc. It became a habit. But recently it appears that those habits begin to fade. Yes, I consciously help it and I try not to behave more 'naturally', more with a mindset that I don't need to maintain masculine façade all the time. It is more easier and kind of automatic with people who knows I am trans. In normal social situations I feel constant shame and switch to standard masculine kind of behaviour. I hope it makes sense.
Poly
Whitney> Well, it is hard to describe... Several months ago my girlfriend begun to comment that my gestures is more feminine. Later, maybe a month ago when I finally consciously accepted that my desire to feminize is just a reflection of deeper identity issues. And I came to conclusion that my identity is predominantly feminine. Since then I've remembered many suppressed memories and I realised that for long time I had to consciously learn to behave in masculine manner - mannerism, way of speaking etc. It became a habit. But recently it appears that those habits begin to fade. Yes, I consciously help it and I try not to behave more 'naturally', more with a mindset that I don't need to maintain masculine façade all the time. It is more easier and kind of automatic with people who knows I am trans. In normal social situations I feel constant shame and switch to standard masculine kind of behaviour. I hope it makes sense.
Poly