Hello again, and I hope all of you are doing well. Quick update on me for those who know me, and a great big hello for those who don't.

As many of you know I was diagnosed with a MAC infection, and I was very concerned about it and my long term prognosis, well.. things just keep getting more and more interesting. A couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphatic Leukemia. As types of Leukemia's run, this is the one you want if you have to have leukemia as it has a very high success rate of being put into remission. However... there are a cpl variants of this particular leukemia, and I have one of the nastier more aggressive ones. Yay me right? Yeah, i'm just dancing for joy here XD.

On the other hand, things are going well with my transition. I am now nearly a year into HRT and things are generally going well in that aspect of my life. I am seeing an Endocrinologist and other than the above medical issues slowing things down, I am on track and really satisfied with my development physically.

Breast wise I still do a few things. I do a nightly Deer massage on my breasts and every other night I include a progesterone cream into that process. I am now fitting (though not quite filling) a 38-B cup sized bra and I feel very very pleased with my development, which I started here many many many moons ago using herbals to begin the process of breast development (which worked well btw).

On a side note, I purchased and am now living full time in a 34' Class A RV which I named Endora, with my puppy Tabitha and my kitty Serena. So in general, while some things are sucky in my life, some things are going really fricking awesome. I hope that all of you have success in your endeavors and I truly hope that you all find happiness with yourselves and the paths you have chosen for NBE etc.

~Elain C. Moria

I wish you well Elain, and ya, it has been a long time. Please keep in touch.

oh geez Elain, sorry to hear that, I hope you get on the road to good health again quickly.

Fell better soon ok?

(& don't be a stranger here)

A couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphatic Leukemia. As types of Leukemia's run, this is the one you want if you have to have leukemia as it has a very high success rate of being put into remission. However... there are a cpl variants of this particular leukemia, and I have one of the nastier more aggressive ones. Yay me right?

~Elain C. Moria

I'm sorry to read about your battle with Leukemia, my thoughts are with you, and I pray for a speedy recovery.

It's not like we don't have enough sh*t going on with our lives.

hello ElainMoria ..i jump around and get lost on this forum so much but there are so many interesting people here and so much information. i came across your post and felt like giving you a hug, you know, one of those hugs that’s so tight that you can’t breathe and you die. haha. so much for affection. i’ve been reading lately about a product that seems too good to be true. i keep thinking it can’t be this good but it does seem to be. i found a site that essentially links study after study that groups around the world have done on apple polyphenols ..and more links in the blue column on the left …apparently, they occur just beneath the skin of unripe apples. i hope you’ll check it out and see what you think. i got some from swansons and started taking it mostly because it is too good to be true and i like to put too good to be true products in my mouth hoping they’ll act like little miracles. i said a little prayer for you and sent it up into the clouds not knowing where it’ll go ..maybe, it'll end up in the ear of some phenomenal angelic being. here’s the site www.applepolyphenols.com good good wishes to you. solomé

Hi Elain,
You're not alone. I was diagnosed with Acute Promylocitic Leukemia (APL) last Sept. Spent a number of months in the hospital but on my way to being cured. I am very happy to hear of your progress and healing. We can kick this, sister! Anyhow, I would love a PM from you explaining your transition while battling this. I am in the same boat as you (transition & cancer) and would love to know how you're managing. I am on spiro and fin but still trying to get estradiol. I haven't asked my doc for it yet but getting the courage to do so. I have weekly blood tests so my blood monitored so to keep levels in check. Sorry for rambling on but look forward to hearing from ya.
Hugs,
Erin

Quick update on this for those interested. I have now had to give up my dog Tabitha because the MAC infection and CLL are taking a serious toll on my general health and energy. She is a high energy puppy, and I just couldn't do what was needed to help her burn her energy off because I run out of breath after walking just a few feet anymore, so tossing a ball or walking her regularly became terribly debilitating and I just couldn't do it anymore. I took her to a no kill shelter and expect that she will find a home pretty quickly as she is such a loving animal with such neat markings.

Health wise, as I said previously, things are deteriorating pretty quickly. I honestly don't know if I will even be around this time next year at the rate things seem to be accelerating. I'm not giving up though. I'll fight this right up to the point it becomes obvious there is no way I can beat it, at which point I already have an exit strategy.

My transition is on hold due to my health issues but I have made it VERY clear to my doctors that no matter what happens, they are NOT to take me off estrogen, progesterone and the blockers I am taking. Even if they think it's not going to matter.. it matters to ME. If they do refuse to keep me on those meds. I have a large stash of them saved up just in case lol.

January 18th I have an appointment with a Urologist to discuss an Orchiectomy. IF I can convince the doctor to go through with this, I may be able to reduce or eliminate my Spiro and Finasteride intake and ease the load on my liver.

Recent blood work has suggested that my kidneys may be failing or in the first part of failing. One of the medications I am on is known to sometimes cause this. As my life has generally been fucked up and I also get hit by a ton of shit.. it's not surprising that i'd also be one of the ones who's kidneys would fail due to the meds, I mean after all.. I have a MAC infection that is normally only seen in people who's immune systems are compromised by aids or chemo, neither of which I have or have had. (HIV clear).

So.. yeah. Things seem to be going wonderfully for me. Two potentially deadly diseases diagnosed in one year, and my kidneys shutting down. I figure at this rate, I'll be on life support soon. Call me Elain the Cyborg! *cackles*

In general though. My mood is good. I'm happier than I have ever been in my entire life, even knowing I may be dead in the not so distant future, but life is NOT promised, nor is happiness, and I at least know I have both of those right now. The future will bring whatever it brings. I'll face it with dignity and snark like I face everything else in my life.

Ya'll have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a wonderful and awesome New Years. Be good... or take pictures of you being bad and share them damnit! lol.

~Elain

Hello ElainMoira.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Blessings and wishes for your best and highest good. It seems that all through what has gone on for you, this is still a time of healing for you, in some ways and that is still good news. Big hugs, dear.

Elain, you are a beautiful vibrant woman. No matter what happens, that's how I'll always know you. As another cancer patient, I am behind you all the way. I'm sorry about both the illnesses but it sucks you have a MAC on top of it. Keep fighting gurly. While CLL is not curable, it is containable and I'm still reading about MAC treatment. I'm praying for you. I kindly ask you to open a thread to keep us updated of your progress even if you just use it say how you feel. Take care of you and stay in touch. You have support here.
Warmest hugs,
Erin

Feel free to pm me.

So I figured I would update things for everyone....

The MAC infection is worse. Not significantly so, but it's causing me more issues. The Leukemia is so far, stable. I hope it will stay that way for a while longer. I'm now living in the Seattle area so my sister can help me due to my health. Short term memory is fried. I have gaps in my long term memory as well. I have an Orchiectomy scheduled for the 24th of this month, after which I will be able to cut out Spiro from all the pills I am taking. My right kidney shut down completely for a few weeks then fired back up. It's now running (according to the doctors) at about 80% capacity. No clue why it shut down or why it started back up. Docs are scratching their heads on that one. Emotionally I am doing well. I won't deny I am somewhat scared of the fight I am engaged in, but even with that, I am happier and more content with my life than I have ever been before.

Physically I am still developing nicely. My hips, butt, and thighs have a bit more padding now and I actually fill out my girl jeans ok (not perfect, but getting there). My breasts are developing nicely. My body hair growth has REALLY slowed down, and the hairs are lighter in color and MUCH thinner than before. In fact, that carpet of hair I had on my tummy and chest.. is basically not there anymore. The hairs have thinned down so much and slowed down so much that I only have to shave my chest and tummy about once every six weeks (otherwise I look like a fuzzy peach lol). Leg hair has thinned and slowed down as well. Sadly facial hair has not.

So... in general, things are going good for me. My RV is parked against my sisters house. My car is parked behind it. Oh... hell I forgot to mention that!! I bought a 2005 Kia Rio a month ago. So yeah.. I got wheels now that are NOT 34 feet long LOL! My health is ok. My mental health is awesome!

Hope ya'll are doing great!

*hugs*

~Elain