(03-07-2011, 02:26 AM)Chrissiegirl Wrote: Julie, I am trying to understand what you are saying; If you mean that you could hide the changes, because you have too much to lose, then you prove my point.
I could minamize my boobs, by binding them [absolute agony] but I could not hide my female stomach and those are just visual things. Are you ready to deal with impotence? Are you prepared to loose a massive amount of strengh, so, sometimes, you have to ask a man to help. Are you prepared to have a femanised brain; a male friend, recently, commented on how different I have become.
These are the realities and the reasons why I worry about those, who are not 100% commited to transition and the fact that I do worry and care is, probably, a consquence of a femanised brain.
Chrissie,
I think the point is that Julie is saying that she is firmly convinced that she is NOT TS but that if by chance she discovers she is wrong about that belief then she will put her feminisation programme back in the box until a more propitious time, at whatever traumatic cost, because she currently has too much to loose. If she does eventually decide she is TS after all, then you may well be right that by then it would be too late to stop. However, from reading Julie's various posts, not just on this thread, I believe that I can relate very closely to what Julie is saying and if I have to put a label on myself it would also be the TG one not TS.
You and I are very close in age and Julie is, I think, only about half that, so she has a lot of life still to experience. I believe that you were overtly male until you got to your transition point, but I first started secretly wearing my sisters and mothers clothes when I was about 12-ish and I remember being absolutely fascinated by the Sunday papers sensationalisation of April Ashley at about the same time. All through my teens I used to pray for a miracle that I would somehow wake up one day as a girl. In my early 20's I decided that I am NOT a TS, and although I do wish that I had been born female, I do not and never have felt that I am in the wrong body. I am what I am and I can live with that. I love pretty clothes and make-up, I like dressmaking and I've always been happier in female company than male. Cars, football and other 'male' pursuits have no interest for me whatsoever and never have. I am very rarely aggressive in any way and I have never been particularly strong or had large muscles.
So I guess in many ways you could say that I have a feminine type personality already. Maybe that's why I never felt any need for surgery etc to make a statement about myself, but I really don't know.
Coming back to the point, when I discovered the possibility of NBE some 9 months ago, it just seemed a natural extension of myself - I no more needed to debate with myself about going for it, than 50 years ago I needed to debate with myself over wearing girls clothes when I got the chance. I never felt any guilt about that ( although I was scared of getting caught by my parents!) and I'm quite comfortable with the idea of having a nice pair of natural breasts ( hopefully) and I don't see that it will mean that I am then a candidate for the knife.
I know that you planned for, and used, the inability to hide your boobs as a trigger point for your transformation, and I can completely understand that, but the same thing doesn't have to apply to everyone. My intention is to stop at ( hopefully just before ) the point at which they become unhideable, and I suspect that Julie has something similar in mind, although I could be wrong.
Again speaking for myself, I would welcome most of the other feminisation factors that you mention, but I still don't consider myself as a TS and have no intention of going that far. I think that a lot of the male members of this board have a similar 'end point' in mind although I wouldn't presume to guess at individual motivations for having that goal, because we are all very different to each other - what it right for you, is not right for me, and what you perceive as dangers don't faze me at all.
Pansy Mae