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What should I do?

#11

I wish I had some advice for you. All I can say is that regardless of whatever fantasies your wife may have, that doesn't mean she wants to act on them. Fantasies serve a purpose, and once realized, they need to be replaced by some other fantasy that is usually "dirtier" than the one being replaced. I find it is better not to act on certain fantasies for this reason. I need to have something that arouses me that I never actually experience anywhere but in my mind.

I hope you are able to reassure your wife and work things out. Depending on where you live, it can be difficult to find a good couples therapist.
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#12

Thanks Monika,you make an interesting point about the fantasies.

Yea, couples therapy. I never would have thought this would be necessary!

-A
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#13

My wife was always happy with my shaving regimen. We are really into fitness and most male fitness models shave their body hair. She enjoys touching my body when its smooth. And I also like the feel - for over 20 years! I have shaved my legs. And most everything else for the last 10-15. But she does not like me painting my toenails. She excepts that I want to but only clear polish. She has her limits too and I need to respect them.

Try to find examples of other men that shave their legs. Something she can hang HER fantast on. And ask her why she shaves her legs. Don't except "because I'm a woman" as an answer. I bet she'll say she like the way her legs feel and look too.

All relationships are works in progress and there is a natural give and take 40/60 on one issue 60/40 the next. But at the end of the day Happy wife, Happy life.

Wishing the best.
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#14

(03-02-2014, 03:21 AM)Jessica Leigh Wrote:  My wife was always happy with my shaving regimen. We are really into fitness and most male fitness models shave their body hair. She enjoys touching my body when its smooth. And I also like the feel - for over 20 years! I have shaved my legs. And most everything else for the last 10-15. But she does not like me painting my toenails. She excepts that I want to but only clear polish. She has her limits too and I need to respect them.

Try to find examples of other men that shave their legs. Something she can hang HER fantast on. And ask her why she shaves her legs. Don't except "because I'm a woman" as an answer. I bet she'll say she like the way her legs feel and look too.

All relationships are works in progress and there is a natural give and take 40/60 on one issue 60/40 the next. But at the end of the day Happy wife, Happy life.

Wishing the best.

Thank you Jessica, this is wise advice.

It is amazing the varying degrees of feminine freedom each of us has - from complete freedom, to none at all!

-A
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#15

(03-02-2014, 03:21 AM)Jessica Leigh Wrote:  And ask her why she shaves her legs. Don't except "because I'm a woman" as an answer. I bet she'll say she like the way her legs feel and look too.
I've always thought that we "make" women shave their legs and pits so they can look as much like the little girls they used to be as possible. In a way, it's kind a kink thing; I'm thinking it's done so guys can KIND OF fulfill their fantasy of having sex with a little girl, but because she's really over 18, they can't get into trouble for it. True, a girl with hairy legs and pits IS kind of unattractive, but, again, there ya go!! The attraction is to that of a GIRL.
It COULD just stem from a guy wanting badly to get into the panties of a girl he was in grade school with, but never had that chance and that "lust" was never quelled, so, it's still harboured within, maybe without him even knowing it!
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#16

Maybe there's some truth in what you say, Miss. On the other hand, I've spent some time in Germany and saw a lot of women with hairy legs. The men don't seem to mind. How ever it came about, it's become a cultural standard, so ingrained, that everyone takes it for granted. Either that or it's a grand conspiracy perpetrated by the makers of razor blades. Big Grin

Clara Smile
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#17

Update: The legs stay shaved!!!! Think of it like black/white smoke!

We talked for hours and both had good points. Eventually she (being the most wonderful person in the world) realized that I am not interested in men and I wish only to be with her! Then she started to get turned on by my breasts and OMG! we had two days of the best sex ever! She spent quite a lot of quality time with my breasts and I F__king love it! I had no idea what I was missing with booby play and she had always fantasized about women's breasts. It could not be better, I am soooo happy I cannot even type out a coherent explanation!

Anyway, long sexy story short, she has accepted me for who I am. She is even buying me a one piece swimsuit for our spring break trip! And she bought me some cute little workout (yoga?) pants with ruching at the back of the ankles so she can watch me workout! *Dances*

Thank you ladies for being here for me, you have given me strength and clarity that I do not think I could have found elsewhere!

So I guess this means that your stuck with me for a while! Tongue

*Hugs all around!*

-A

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#18

Wow, that is so AWESOME Amanda!!!Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin
Ooooh, I am so happy for you baby. I was worried about what wss going to happen. This makes my day, sweetheart. She sounds like a reslly special kind of lady.Big Grin
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#19

(05-02-2014, 03:47 PM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  Wow, that is so AWESOME Amanda!!!Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin
Ooooh, I am so happy for you baby. I was worried about what wss going to happen. This makes my day, sweetheart. She sounds like a reslly special kind of lady.Big Grin

She is indeed! I would not have been able to make it without her!

Thank you sooo much for thinking of me! *Hugs*

-A

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#20

Amanda...I too am soooo happy for you!!! I just started reading about your issues with your wife and shaving your legs. And then all of the thoughtfull and intelligent suggestions from the others here....Amazing and heart warming!! Then to see that your story has such a happy ending!! That's so great!!

A few years ago I began to shave my legs and will never be able to live with hairy legs again. My wife at the time was so upset and for months and months she couldn't look at them or touch them. I was thrilled with how they looked and felt and I wanted nothing more then to rub my smoothe legs next to hers, but she refused for so long. Even though she has known about my cross dressing for 25 years and accepted it for the last 15. She thought that shaving my legs meant that I was one step closer to having a sex change. So her refusal to accept me again pushed me away and we have been through some big ups and downs and major transitions in our relationship over the past couple of years. Some crazy stuff!

But eventually she has accepted me completely again! Legs and all! She says I have sexier legs than any woman she knows!Wink Smile)
In fact this weekend we went to the mall and each tried on sexy dresses!! But she can be hot and cold and her moods can change drastically very quickly.

She still fears that she will lose me...either I will turn gay or want a sex change someday. I admit I cannot be a aggressive "real man" for her...which she needs in the bed room. But with 2 children ...even though they are in their 20s now... I cant imagine there will ever be a day that I could transition. and being 6'-4'' doesnt help either!

Unfortunately...I am really confused these days. I have currently been on a herbal program and I'm very depressed. I do have slight swelling in my breasts but I'm beginning to lose my sex drive and my erections are very weak and short lived. I really dont know how much further I should go at this point. I have almost become addicted to the herbs....the process. Obsessed...to the point that I cannot focus on anything else and I have given up some very important interests in my life.

My experiences over the past 25 years of marriage have been rocky...up and down. Always , with time , we have reached a new level of respect for each other. I ask myself why it must always be such a struggle to reach this new higher ground? I just dont know. I guess we all have a big fear of the unknown.
This past weekend we had a 3 hour condensed version of our entire marriage. We went from the lowest lows where it seemed like we would have to end our relationship, to the highest highs where we realized we would never find a better partner for each other. Well, this went back and forth , up and down like this for hours until I finally begged for mercy that we finally stop talking! And we ended up in a very loving way.

...but I still feel quite lost.

Debating my next move. Another bottle of PM...or take a cold turkey break for awhile?

Best of luck to everyone ...and Clara and Samantha and everyone... thank you for all of your wonderful words of wisdom!

xo
KristenM
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