[chrissie]

I do not doubt that the effects of T, can engender a sexual arousal, which can lead to a desire to crossdress. Eqully. I am aware that the desire to cross dress, is amazingly complex, but is quite different from transsexualism. To learn of the results of research, on the sirata tremanalis, was the most defining moment of my life. I knew I was transsexual, but everything I read, dismissed my feelings, as some sort of neurosis, which had to be surpressed. As I got older, with a corresponding drop, in T levels, the need to be Chrissie , just grew and grew. To realise, that I had been fed a load of missinformation and that this was a real condition, was overwhelmingly liberating. I do not stop to analyse, but get on with the fact, that Iam a much happier and nicer person, on PM and going back is not an option; I would rather die and I truly mean that. For the first time in my life, I am contented, with who I am. This is what I try and get accross; being transsexual is, an unambigous state, where you embrace the effects of oestrogen and only think about it, in terms of, what if it stopped? I have no desire to cross dress; I simply dress as Chrissie. At presemt, that means the comfort of skirts, as Autmn, turns to Winter, I do not doubt that I will start wearing trousers again, like many other women.

[beverley.rose]

I think that for some (possibly for me, at the start of this process) cross-dressing is a way of mentally offsetting the results of Testosterone.

Nowadays I wear dresses because they improve my figure and help me feminise it. Trousers are too masculine for me because I am already in 'stealth' mode and I want to make it as easy as possible for people to see me as female and then disregard me, have me fade into the daily background of their lives as an unnoticed female going about her business. As far as I know, I am succeeding. Maybe as I pass by, the whole street behind me is in convulsions of laughter, but I do not stop to check and nor do I take surveys.

Since I have no idea how others see me, I use every weapon in the amoury - perfume, makeup, hair, nails, shoes, clothes, posture, walk and mannerisms. I have been practising softening my voice so that a booming, resonant male sound is not present when I open my mouth. I have become much, much more slender than I was previously and I wear clothing that makes my hips look wider and my waist look smaller. NBE is, for me, a way of getting convincing boobs and I am about to start laser hair removal. PM is very much a means to an end for me. I was doing this to myself before PM and going on PM has not changed it.

What has changed is that I have become a real cry-baby. It takes very little for tears to start flowing down my face. I experience emotions much, much more intensely than before and I now act on emotional impulses whereas previous to PM, such behaviour was very rare for me.

Beverley

[Pansy-Mae]

Aromatase does stop when it runs out of testosterone to make estrogens from.

Sorry, I missed this line when I read your post yesterday...So on that basis, SP is a good thing since it allegedly prevents T converting to DHT thus leaving it available for the aromatase conversion to estrogen - if T is diminishing anyway, either naturally or as a result of phyto-hormones, we may as well make best use of what there is rather than leaving it to be converted into something we definitely DON'T want!

[karen]

Great Post .....

It sure fits what I have been going through to a "T" .....

I'm certain that I am one of the "subset" individuals ("a subset of genetic males appear to respond to testosterone in a manor that evokes an overwhelming desire to express feelings of femininity")

There never was a time in my life that I felt like I was living in the wrong gender body .... but there were "several" times (less than 6) that over my life I have had strong desires to do things like "wear artificial stick on nails", or "wear high heels", or "wear a stuffed bra" .....

But all of those periods have come and gone .... I didn't really do anything to make them change ... they just did.

So recently, as I got older (I'm 64 now) I started to have lots less energy, I had mood swings, less sex drive, I was irritable, and went into mild periods of depression. Went to the doctors, after doing tons of internet research, with my LONG LIST of things that could be making me feel that way. Lots of tests later all he found was that my Testosterone Levels were low ... even for someone that was my age (175-225 ... I had like 3 different blood tests)

So I started using a product called Testim. It's a testosterone Gel that you apply to the skin, it's absorbed, and it raises your T Levels. Usually using a single tube raises T Level by maybe 250-300 points. Well I used 1 tube and my T Levels jumped up to 750-800 .... even the Doctor was surprised but we didn't get overly concerned. I even had several Blood tests to verify those levels. By the way ... at the same time my estradiol levels were at the HIGH END OF NORMAL. "Interesting"

At first everything was fine but less than a month later I started to have those "desires to be a female" .... as time went on they got stronger and stronger ..... that's when I found breastnexus ... and played a little with PM .... which was not a pleasant experience for me .... but again it could be attributed to my testosterone/estrogen sensitive body.

I stopped using Testim when I started using PM .... and then I stopped using PM .... guess what, those "female desires" slowly went away ....

I am wondering too, now that I understand more about how what we eat can affect our hormones, that if those "cross dressing" times may have been brought on by diet or other things in my life.

Well I've started using Testim again .... this time I'm using "somewhat less than a "FULL TUBE" .... I just squeeze out what I can without getting out every last drop. I'm also "paying very close attention" to how I feel and HOW I THINK .... I'm keeping a detailed journal.

Very interesting this whole "BALANCE" thing ..... one thing that's REALLY GREAT .... now that I understand better how different herbs can affect different hormones (I have to thank Isabelle for ALL OF HER GREAT INSIGHT) I can actually adjust things to see how they affect my "desires".

Breastnexus serves many people for many different reasons .... all I can say is that I am extremely glad that I found my way to here.

Hugs ..... K

And thanks everyone for your opinions and viewpoints .... they help people to figure out what's best for them.

[julieTG]

Small Interjection,

Dont we all wish a cleavage like sfem, and Pansy for that matter

Julie

[beverley.rose]

... and played a little with PM .... which was not a pleasant experience for me ....

What was 'unpleasant' about it? Did it make you feel ill?

I ask because I have seen it asserted both here and elsewhere that oestrogen is diagnostic of transexualism. Basically if you are TS and take oestrogen it is liberating, if you are not TS then it makes you miserable. If this supposition is correct then the PM experience would at least indicate that you are not TS.

Beverley

[karen]

... and played a little with PM .... which was not a pleasant experience for me ....

What was 'unpleasant' about it? Did it make you feel ill?

I ask because I have seen it asserted both here and elsewhere that oestrogen is diagnostic of transexualism. Basically if you are TS and take oestrogen it is liberating, if you are not TS then it makes you miserable. If this supposition is correct then the PM experience would at least indicate that you are not TS.

Beverley

Here you go ....

http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=10023

Karen

[beverley.rose]

Wow Karen, that was a tense experience. I guess PM is not for you. For me, the physical changes are very slow but the mental changes seem much quicker.

I suspect that I will be small breasted like all my female relatives, but I am OK with that because I do not like massive breasts.

Beverley

[julieTG]

Again Girls , its all about Balance

What is TS,

Partial or Full

Julie

[beverley.rose]

What is TS,

Contentment

Beverley