Shop for herbs and other supplements on Amazon


castration

#1

Hello
First of all I want to thank all of the people posting here. I have been reading this fourm for 3 years now and have used the info for my transition journey. I am slowly building to a the point of coming out of the closet.
My dilemma is: I want to have a castration surgery . research indicates this will lead to complete sex drive loss, in addition to weight gain and loss of muscle and bone density and tiredness.
BUT these things are not mentioned on articles on a full gender reassignment surgery. Isn’t GRS really a castration with extra cosmetic surgery thrown in.
Can somebody explain the difference to me please
Reply
#2

Erin,

Welcome to the forum. If you have been 'lurking' then hopefully you know my history which may be relevant to your desires. Here are my thoughts on your question.

First, you need to speak to a doctor for PROPER advice about the effects of castration.

Second, as you mention, the big downside from castration is oesteoperosis - bone loss. You need to be on a proper hormone regime to prevent this. That is why middle aged women are put on HRT

Third, sexual arousal is in the HEAD, not in the testicles. Even castrated men can get erections. Women have no testicles and they get aroused.

Other than that, GRS and castration have much in common and many trans women (particularly in the US) go for castration because it is so much cheaper than GRS and simplifies the hormone regimes and reduces the dosage.

Go speak to a doctor. If you are getting ready to come out then you might as well get started. I presume you know about the "Harry Benjamin rules" and the fact that most medical people will require you to live in your female role for at least a year before they do anything irreversible to you? I have been living as Beverley since January so I will complete my year in 8 weeks time.

Beverley
Reply
#3

(03-11-2011, 06:04 AM)beverley.rose Wrote:  Erin,

Welcome to the forum. If you have been 'lurking' then hopefully you know my history ...

I have been living as Beverley since January so I will complete my year in 8 weeks time.

Beverley

Hi Beverley,

I have been following your history and very interesting it is too!

I hope you don't mind my asking - say so if you do - but it sounds like you are going to transition, is that so? I know you have a wife and an active sex life, so will it be a partial transition? Your reply sounds like you are thinking of a castration too.... how does your wife feel about this? Also will you be able to remain married if you get a gender change?

Sorry, I'm just too curious not to ask - I'm happy to share too!

Bryony x
Reply
#4

(03-11-2011, 05:27 PM)bryony Wrote:  Hi Beverley,

I have been following your history and very interesting it is too!

I hope you don't mind my asking - say so if you do - but it sounds like you are going to transition, is that so? I know you have a wife and an active sex life, so will it be a partial transition? Your reply sounds like you are thinking of a castration too.... how does your wife feel about this? Also will you be able to remain married if you get a gender change?

Sorry, I'm just too curious not to ask - I'm happy to share too!

Bryony x


OK.. there are some things I am happy to share on a public forum, other things by Private Messages and still others that are nobody's business, so on that basis:

I never intended to transition. I was never fully content as a male but I was never so malcontented that I knew from a young age that I had to transition. I never wanted Barbie dolls or to grow long nails, but looking back there were incidents that do make me wonder if they were early signs that all was not as it should be.

One particularly clear memory is from around age 5. I was playing with three girls and I announced that in the game I would be the princess. My mother overheard me and I can still remember the telling off I got. I think that was the day I learned to keep my mouth shut. Even now I have a reputation for keeping my mouth shut and not being 'gossipy' about personal issues.

Other incidents - the incredible embarrassment I felt as a teenager when my cousin told me I was nearly a man. It was a very uncomfortable feeling and I remember exactly where I was when she said it - the room, the furniture, were we were sitting and so on. There are other indicators too but you get the idea. None of these were pushing me forward to transition, but they were there. I always wanted BOTH ears pierced, I always wanted drop or hoop earrings - never studs. Masculine jewellery I always found repulsive, but female jewellery I always found lovely (well some of it...). I always loved female shoes, especially heeled sandals.

So in the end I decided I was a TV and for 20 years, on and off (more off than on) I lived with that. My wife knew but no one else did. My mouth was still firmly shut.

Then in 2010 I made the mistake of painting my toenails. I do not know why, I just did it with frosted pink polish and I was doomed. The dam burst and the desire to live as female was overwhelmingly strong. I could not resist it, I could not fight it. I told my wife who was only moderately worried and we agreed to tell the children gradually and introduce it gradually and slowly. As young teenagers it was possible to have long talks and explain that I was having these desires and that I wanted to make slow changes a bit at a time. My eldest bought my a nail polish set for Xmas and other presents were a satin nightie and 3" heeled court shoes. When I go out of the house - to pick my daughter up from her part-time job, to go food shopping, to go into town - I go en femme because it makes it easier for people to accept me. I am Beverley, not 'him'. 'He' has gone and is not returning.

Eventually I decided that a fleshier chest would help and I found this place (BreastNexus). By this stage I was starting to dress en femme as much as possible. The nails were growing, the hair was growing and I was losing weight too.

Then I went on to FG and PM and another lock was opened and the mental changes began and I started to question if I was a TV with pretensions or a TS. I joined local support group and took my wife along. We frequently talk about the changes I am undergoing and she has gradually accepted that the old me is going - slowly vanishing from her life and the new me - Beverley - will be more and more prominent, and there is nothing manly about Beverley. I started the year as UK size 18/20 and I am now 12/14. My shoe size is 1 - 2 size smaller. My body hair is getting finer, head hair is returning and apart from 2 pairs of trousers and two shirts all my male clothes have gone. My wardrobe is now a collection of dresses and skirts.

So where does that leave me now? I have not formally started to transition yet because I want more physical changes to happen first before I go near my unhelpful doctor or the certified lunatics called psychiatrists. Like Chrissie, I want them so see that the whole thing is a 'done deal'

What is the difference between a TV and a TS? About 5 years.

The process is very, very gradual and by letting it be gradual, by not shoving it in anyone's face and screaming 'Look at me!' it lets people see that you are still you. You are not a weirdo. It is not a shock. One good friend has started to ask questions - her husband is not bothered and I just told her that all is not as it should be but refused to elaborate further. When I visit them I remove my nail polish, but my nails are still long, I tie my shoulder length hair in a ponytail. My eyebrows stay plucked into two very fine lines, I wear ladies flared jeans, a ladies blouse and female ankle boots. It is subtle, but not invisible, neither is it in their face.

Over time the changes in me will become more noticeable but they (and others) will adapt slowly and travel with me. One of my sister-in-laws has started asking questions too.

I have now accepted that I was never really TV. That was just a stage on this journey. I never intended to be TS although I remember once - just the once - the electrifying certainty that I would die as a female.

What happens next? I wait and I proceed slowly and patiently letting things progress at their own speed although at times I find that very, very difficult.

If I had a magic button that I could press, one that would all this go away and make me a 'normal' man - would I press it? Would you? Think of what lies ahead, the difficulties, the obstacles the fact that you will ALWAYS be 'she who used to be a bloke' - you will NEVER be free of that. You might lose family and friends, you might be ridiculed, assaulted or attacked. You might develop mental health problems or depression. To be sure there will be good things and good times too, but for now look at the negatives and ask yourself this: What sane individual would voluntarily transition? If that button existed you would a bl**dy idiot not to press it.

No such button exists and my only way is forward. I have no choices and I will have to deal with the negatives. I am not resentful or sad or worried by it. I have accepted that it is my path even though I never planned it and never knowingly wanted it. It is me. I have no choice. If you are truly TS then you will have no choice either and fighting against your inner, your true self, is futile because she will win and you will lose.

And so, at last, I can answer your original question about SRS. I have no idea what I will do. I am not thinking that far ahead. It is something that my wife and I will discuss as we proceed on this path. I want her on this journey with me, I want her to share with me. I tell her frequently how much I love her. We hug often, we share clothes and advice on clothes. We always make time to talk and we are always there for each other. If I go too fast, she pulls me back. I love her more than I can ever express in writing or words.

Go slowly Bryony, take your time and be as open as you can with your wife. Do not plan too far ahead and do not make your mind up in advance.

Do not journey alone if you can journey with a friend.

Beverley
Reply
#5

Thanks so much for sharing that Beverley. I heard Chrissie's story on the IPM program and could relate to much of it. People born in the 1950s had to deal with a very different culture. Believe it or not, I rather envy you!

Thanks,

Bryony x

Ps sorry if my questions were too personal!
Reply
#6

(03-11-2011, 08:51 PM)bryony Wrote:  Thanks so much for sharing that Beverley. I heard Chrissie's story on the IPM program and could relate to much of it.

I heard it on there too. I have since met Chrissie and been to her restaurant and we now know several people in common. We hope to see each other again in just over a week's time.


(03-11-2011, 08:51 PM)bryony Wrote:  People born in the 1950s had to deal with a very different culture.

Indeed they did and I am so glad that I did not have to live through what they had to live through.


(03-11-2011, 08:51 PM)bryony Wrote:  Believe it or not, I rather envy you!

Why? Honestly - I am really curious.


(03-11-2011, 08:51 PM)bryony Wrote:  Ps sorry if my questions were too personal!

It is OK. If you want to know something personal then send me a PM (the message, not the pill) and I might answer depending on what I think.

Beverley

Reply
#7

(03-11-2011, 09:05 PM)beverley.rose Wrote:  
(03-11-2011, 08:51 PM)bryony Wrote:  Believe it or not, I rather envy you!

Why? Honestly - I am really curious.


(03-11-2011, 08:51 PM)bryony Wrote:  Ps sorry if my questions were too personal!

It is OK. If you want to know something personal then send me a PM (the message, not the pill) and I might answer depending on what I think.

Beverley

Well, to be able to have got where you are with your family, I suppose, and being young enough (=having time enough) to do what you are doing. The first would be enormously difficult, and the second a limiting factor!

I may well take you up on your kind offer about the p.m.!

Bye for now,

Bryony x
Reply
#8

Beverly, thank you for taking the time to post your story. I think it is the first time I've seen your story gathered up in one place like that. Reading it brought tears to my eyes. Tears of happiness for you. You are truly blessed in your family, especially in your wife. It is very inspiring to hear about how you have progressed along life's path and how you have handled the wicked curve balls thrown your way. I admire your approach to the situation and your patience in letting it run its course instead of trying to push it in one direction or the other.

Thank you.
Reply
#9

Bryony - I have sent you a PM about some of the more personal stuff.

sfem - thank you for your kind words. I have told this story before in bits and pieces, here and there, but I never planned to collate it into one piece. Occasionally I start typing and all of a sudden it all comes flooding out. You should see some of the stuff I dumped on poor Chrissie's PM box - at one point I was crying so much I could barely see the keyboard.

The journey is so unexpected and, in my case so unwanted, that I find it very difficult to cope with. I never wanted to be Beverley, but I am and I cannot deny it any longer. I no longer battle it and I have given in to it. Acceptance is a very female attribute and a very important one. I have learned to accept things without understanding them and to be content. As an 'evolving woman' it is vital that I master this.

I am resisting the urge to legally change my name because none of us are ready yet, but by this time next year...??? Who can say? My life is not hell, but it will get more complicated and more difficult and I keep reminding myself that the biggest fear is fear itself.

All this was locked up inside and I am certain that PM released it - broke the locks, threw away the key, set me free from 'him'.

I am sorry, I have started 'dumping' again. Maybe it is my 'time of the month' Smile I could go and on and on but I will force myself to stop. I want to have a cry anyway even though I am not sad or anything. I just feel like having a good blub.

I love you all

Beverley
Reply
#10

Beverley,
You have been magnificent, I just want to hold you tight and compliment you, on you courage, for being so open. As always, you are one of the soundest voices, on this forum,
Huge Hugs,
Chrissie xxxxx
Reply



Shop for herbs and other supplements on Amazon





Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)


Shop for herbs and other supplements on Amazon

Breast Nexum is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.


Cookie Policy   Privacy Policy