26-11-2011, 06:50 PM
Hi all,
I just thought I'd let you know of my intentions towards managing my condition in case you are interested.
I strongly believe that most, if not all, orthodoxies are, or will turn out to be, wrong.
Nothing in life is cut and dried, and to quote Lawrence of Arabia, "Nothing is written".
Most orthodoxies are controlled by the rich and powerful with vested interests. The classic case is when Galileo showed that the Sun did not orbit the Earth, a theory embraced by the RC church. Branded a heretic, he was locked away for most of the rest of his life.
Since then, science and medicine have moved from the patronage of the church to state governments, but they are no less politicised. There are trillions of dollars riding on the unproved theories of Climate Change, and the people who stand to profit the most are the politicians who have the ability to push it, and their friends in the investment industry.
In medicine, patronage is divided between the state and big pharma. I used to work for big pharma. Their sales force got a phenomenal budget to enable them to take doctors to luxury locations and provide expensive gifts with their promotional material. I don't believe herbal suppliers have that kind of budget! Consequently most of the medical treatments for TS folk orbits around the availability of sex hormones provided by big pharma, which I believe are not primarily in the interests of the patients.
The state has an interest in pushing the political correctness approach so popular now in our Orwellian society. The idea of "disorders" has given way to "alternative but equally valid lifestyles".
Since there is no real money in treating disorders with herbal remedies, and it is not PC to consider transsexualism as a disorder any more, neither the state nor the medical profession is interested in helping someone like me manage my disorder so that I can live a life concomitant with my birth gender, and by that I mean treatment that will provide me with a healthy mind, as healthy a body as the treatment can provide, and a heterosexual married life.
I don't see why the fact that mother had a mental breakdown whilst pregnant with me, and consequently produced insufficient androgen for my needs to develop correctly means that I should embrace the notion that "I was born in the wrong body" - no No NO! That my brain developed incorrectly is the _only_ fact.
I am therefore going to be a heretic. I have always been one. The more someone tells me "this is how it must be done" the more I say "why?". I am a passive person by nature (obviously) but the harder I am pushed, the harder I push back. When orthodoxies try to control me, I rebel. That's one reason why I have a box of 300 incandescent lightbulbs, and turn every light in my house on for "Earth day". (People of my generation in the UK call this attitude "Bolshy", but "obstreperous" works.)
Thanks to the rightly named P. Mirifica (Wonderful) I am now in a position to control the mental anxiety caused by my gender dysphoria.
There are a few drawbacks to this approach, and two of them are growing very nicely on my chest. Another is a dimishment of male function, and a loss of need to initiate sex. Finally is the "reprogramming" of the brain which is widely thought to occur with a predicted increase in the desire to fully feminise, which I have no reason to doubt.
The first drawback will have to be dealt with as a function of time and size. I do not believe it is insurmountable. At the very last desperate resort, an operation to remove or preferably reduce would have to be considered... (which would be ironic considering the name of this forum! I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that!)
I plan to address the last two by spending one week per month "cold turkey". In my particular case it takes about 3 days to restore full libido and grumpiness. However, now that I am aware of it, and how quickly it will go again, (another 3 days), I believe that I will be much better placed to deal with it than I was in the past.
I believe that this will give the monthly "reality check" I need to keep my male function going and remind me that I am, and always will be, male.
It is a small sacrifice to pay to be able to maintain and, indeed, improve my marriage, and is no worse really than most women who suffer PMT have to pay for more years of their life than I have left (probably).
I have nothing but admiration for those individuals who are unattached and are willing to go through the enormous difficulties of full transition to become female. If I were unattached and, more importantly Facial Feminisation Surgery were at least, if not more, available than Gender Reassignment Surgery, I would have done it myself.
I have always wished that I had been born female. I used to yearn for it and for most of my life it has been the subject of my fantasies. Thankfully, PM has made it bearable.
My radical, heretical, approach may work, it may not. I will keep you posted.
Bryony x
I just thought I'd let you know of my intentions towards managing my condition in case you are interested.
I strongly believe that most, if not all, orthodoxies are, or will turn out to be, wrong.
Nothing in life is cut and dried, and to quote Lawrence of Arabia, "Nothing is written".
Most orthodoxies are controlled by the rich and powerful with vested interests. The classic case is when Galileo showed that the Sun did not orbit the Earth, a theory embraced by the RC church. Branded a heretic, he was locked away for most of the rest of his life.
Since then, science and medicine have moved from the patronage of the church to state governments, but they are no less politicised. There are trillions of dollars riding on the unproved theories of Climate Change, and the people who stand to profit the most are the politicians who have the ability to push it, and their friends in the investment industry.
In medicine, patronage is divided between the state and big pharma. I used to work for big pharma. Their sales force got a phenomenal budget to enable them to take doctors to luxury locations and provide expensive gifts with their promotional material. I don't believe herbal suppliers have that kind of budget! Consequently most of the medical treatments for TS folk orbits around the availability of sex hormones provided by big pharma, which I believe are not primarily in the interests of the patients.
The state has an interest in pushing the political correctness approach so popular now in our Orwellian society. The idea of "disorders" has given way to "alternative but equally valid lifestyles".
Since there is no real money in treating disorders with herbal remedies, and it is not PC to consider transsexualism as a disorder any more, neither the state nor the medical profession is interested in helping someone like me manage my disorder so that I can live a life concomitant with my birth gender, and by that I mean treatment that will provide me with a healthy mind, as healthy a body as the treatment can provide, and a heterosexual married life.
I don't see why the fact that mother had a mental breakdown whilst pregnant with me, and consequently produced insufficient androgen for my needs to develop correctly means that I should embrace the notion that "I was born in the wrong body" - no No NO! That my brain developed incorrectly is the _only_ fact.
I am therefore going to be a heretic. I have always been one. The more someone tells me "this is how it must be done" the more I say "why?". I am a passive person by nature (obviously) but the harder I am pushed, the harder I push back. When orthodoxies try to control me, I rebel. That's one reason why I have a box of 300 incandescent lightbulbs, and turn every light in my house on for "Earth day". (People of my generation in the UK call this attitude "Bolshy", but "obstreperous" works.)
Thanks to the rightly named P. Mirifica (Wonderful) I am now in a position to control the mental anxiety caused by my gender dysphoria.
There are a few drawbacks to this approach, and two of them are growing very nicely on my chest. Another is a dimishment of male function, and a loss of need to initiate sex. Finally is the "reprogramming" of the brain which is widely thought to occur with a predicted increase in the desire to fully feminise, which I have no reason to doubt.
The first drawback will have to be dealt with as a function of time and size. I do not believe it is insurmountable. At the very last desperate resort, an operation to remove or preferably reduce would have to be considered... (which would be ironic considering the name of this forum! I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that!)
I plan to address the last two by spending one week per month "cold turkey". In my particular case it takes about 3 days to restore full libido and grumpiness. However, now that I am aware of it, and how quickly it will go again, (another 3 days), I believe that I will be much better placed to deal with it than I was in the past.
I believe that this will give the monthly "reality check" I need to keep my male function going and remind me that I am, and always will be, male.
It is a small sacrifice to pay to be able to maintain and, indeed, improve my marriage, and is no worse really than most women who suffer PMT have to pay for more years of their life than I have left (probably).
I have nothing but admiration for those individuals who are unattached and are willing to go through the enormous difficulties of full transition to become female. If I were unattached and, more importantly Facial Feminisation Surgery were at least, if not more, available than Gender Reassignment Surgery, I would have done it myself.
I have always wished that I had been born female. I used to yearn for it and for most of my life it has been the subject of my fantasies. Thankfully, PM has made it bearable.
My radical, heretical, approach may work, it may not. I will keep you posted.
Bryony x