[bryony]

Hi all,
The great experiment starts today.
I have been on 3g/day (mostly) since early September.
No ' morning wood', obsessive fantasies, desire to c-d,
masturbate or achieve erection for quite a while now.

I intend to see what happens with no dose for a week.

I am looking to achieve the ' holy grail' of balance between
gender anxiety and erectile competence. I know Isabelle
manages this with a complex formula of less potent herbs,
but this would be quite difficult for many people.

I think that if I can do this with PM, it could be a game
changer for married TSs, who are currently in thrall to
big pharma and the state/medical orthodoxy.

I will keep you updated, even (esp.) if I fail!

Wish me luck!

B.

[dargona]

I wish you the best of luck, but I feel as it's necessary to throw some of my own experience with PM in response. I've been taking upwards of 6000mg of PM during my simulated cycle, and over 3000mg of PM per day for about a week's time just to see if it makes any difference and honestly I can't tell a difference in my full-functioning. I've re-introduced maca a few days ago which once sustained my "horny level", but I'm not sure if it will work the same again (I can engage in sexual activities whenever the situation arises without much of an issue really).

My point in the response though before it gets too diluted is that for SOME people, such as MYSELF, who consider themselves in-the-middle or content being androgenous, there isn't a level of PM (unless it's above 6k mg for myself) that will completely deteriorate all form of male functioning.

Perhaps for some this is a mental thing, but I've only recently gave thought to possibly living as a female and quite honestly my story is a lot different from the other TS stories I've read where they KNEW by some force that they were always the wrong gender. I have never once felt that same feeling or urge, but instead have always felt as though I was lacking breasts and the ability to express a mass percentage of my "other" side. Even on 6000mg of PM, the notion of actually transitioning has only skimmed the surface of my thought collective and usually gets outweighed by the fact that all my life, I instead knew that I was PARTLY the correct gender but was missing the physical portions to compliment the mainly female brain-wave/mindset/personality complex that existed and continues to exist.

If I had to use any current-day english to express what category I would fall into, bi-gender may be the closest thing other than an unknown "third-gender." I'm not female and living entirely as female wouldn't work for me, but I'm not male either or perhaps I'm both in certain ways more than others. Either way I know this line isn't clear cut for me and not because of my marriage, or my child; I've ALWAYS felt this way and after nearly a year of experimentation with FG/RC/SP/WY/Licorice and now, well over 4-5 months of solid/dedicated PM usage, guess what: I STILL feel the SAME way about who I am, although the herbals have definitely helped me attain and maintain the balance between my body and mind.

tldr = I'm on high dosages of PM, and yes my random erections have diminished, but I'm still perfectly capable of having sex. You can omit my somewhat lengthy backstory, or read the full thing if interested

EXPERIMENT TO THE STARS: (far-fetched and bullshit, but I'm curious)
I'm a gemini, and I recently told a good online friend (who is also a gemini) about my situation and what I was doing with herbs and come to find out they were also dealing with "similar" problems, and I say similar because I feel it's unjust to say my situation is the same as anybody elses or that what I am experiencing is exactly what they are doing or that I have the answers to their personal troubles.

Gemini's are astrologically said to be dual-natured, have two sides/personalities, etc. I don't throw all my belief in astrology so please don't write it off as though I trust everything about it, but I am still curious as most things I have read about my sign seem to fit my personality in very similar ways that the other signs don't.

So for fun: Do we have any more in-the-middle gemini's on these boards?

[Pansy-Mae]

I have no belief in astrology, however for the record and for what it's worth, I'm kind of Gemini!
I say 'kind of' because I am 'on the cusp' as they say - my birthday/time is 30 minutes after the theoretical move from Gemini to Cancer and it depends whether you consider 20th or 21st as being in Gemini or Cancer ( I've always celebrated my birthday as 21st, which therefore not only puts me on the cusp but also on the Solstice!) I understand that the transfer from one to the other, that year, was actually at 11-20pm and I was born at 10 to midnight on 20th. Net result, I can be what ever I want..or I'm totally confused!!

[blackwings76]

hi everyone, Good luck with the cold turkey experiment,

yesterday was my 7th day with 50mg of isoflavones, and my libido went totally down, i cant get a normal erection. So i am planning not take it for few days till feeling better, and then take only 25mg.

just want to tell you to know to all who wants male funtions.

Regards

[bryony]

Hi Dargona!

I wish you the best of luck,

Thanks!

I feel it's necessary to throw some of my own experience with PM in response. I've been taking upwards of 6000mg of PM during my simulated cycle, and over 3000mg of PM per day for about a week's time just to see if it makes any difference and honestly I can't tell a difference in my full-functioning. I've re-introduced maca a few days ago which once sustained my "horny level", but I'm not sure if it will work the same again (I can engage in sexual activities whenever the situation arises without much of an issue really).

I'm not quite clear on this... if you can't tell a difference in your full-functioning, why did you try to use Maca to sustain a "horny level"? Work the same as what?

It sounds to me like there is a difference now to a previous time?

My point in the response though before it gets too diluted is that for SOME people, such as MYSELF, who consider themselves in-the-middle or content being androgenous, there isn't a level of PM (unless it's above 6k mg for myself) that will completely deteriorate all form of male functioning.

I quite belive this, but what might make a difference is our age. Although I haven't had my T-levels tested, I think there is a general assumption that they taper off as you get older. I reckon I'm about 30 years older than you, and about the age when 'normal' people get ED problems due to lack of Testosterone. If that is so, then Estrogen or E-mimics are more likely to cause loss of spontaneous erections. I don't have ED now, but I physical stimulus, whereas without PM I only need mental stimulus.

Your next point is also important:

Perhaps for some this is a mental thing, but I've only recently gave thought to possibly living as a female and quite honestly my story is a lot different from the other TS stories I've read where they KNEW by some force that they were always the wrong gender. I have never once felt that same feeling or urge, but instead have always felt as though I was lacking breasts and the ability to express a mass percentage of my "other" side.

To me, (and this is only a theory) this would seem to indicate that there is a continuum in the TS condition.

If it is true that it is a congenital disorder dependent on the amount of androgen exposure to the male foetus at a particular stage; and if it is also true that this exposure develops the brain as either male or female in orientation; and if it also true that there is a smooth transition between male and female, and not some kind of hysterisis / toggle effect; then I would assume that there would exist individuals whose gender anxiety is not pronounced enough to drive them towards a totally female persona.

If that is true for you, I sincerely envy you; you have the best of both worlds!

Even on 6000mg of PM, the notion of actually transitioning has only skimmed the surface of my thought collective and usually gets outweighed by the fact that all my life, I instead knew that I was PARTLY the correct gender but was missing the physical portions to compliment the mainly female brain-wave/mindset/personality complex that existed and continues to exist.

Red Flag Alert

I may be alarmed unnecessarily BUT

You need to think about this. The fact that, at 6g the thought of transitioning has crossed your mind should alert you to the possibility of some 'reprogramming' that Beverley warned about.

I recommend that you go through all her posts, using the search utility. See how she starts out, very similar to you. Also older than you so with lower T-levels. T-levels lowered still further by using Saw Palmetto as well.

Her conversion from living in the female mode with no wish to lose her penis to disgust with it and wanting full transition took only 6 weeks!

If the thought of it has entered your head, then I suggest to you that it may be time to take a break, or go to maintenance for a while. I'd hate to think that overdosing on PM put your family into a crisis also!


Don't get me wrong. I think PM is a wonderful thing, if used with discretion. BUT, I think the same thing about Morphine!

If I had to use any current-day english to express what category I would fall into, bi-gender may be the closest thing other than an unknown "third-gender." I'm not female and living entirely as female wouldn't work for me, but I'm not male either or perhaps I'm both in certain ways more than others.

I've no reason to disbelieve this, but, again, go through Beverley's postings.

Either way I know this line isn't clear cut for me and not because of my marriage, or my child; I've ALWAYS felt this way and after nearly a year of experimentation with FG/RC/SP/WY/Licorice and now, well over 4-5 months of solid/dedicated PM usage, guess what: I STILL feel the SAME way about who I am, although the herbals have definitely helped me attain and maintain the balance between my body and mind.

But you did need them for your body/mind balance, didn't you? Just remember, that what is true now, need not be true tomorrow.. It's like they say about the stock market: past performance is no indicator of future success.

Please be careful. Be alert! If in any doubt, stop taking it for a while. The really, really great thing about PM, at least for me, is that it starts working again very quickly after a break, so you are not risking much by taking a break, but could be risking a great deal with sustained use!

tldr = I'm on high dosages of PM, and yes my random erections have diminished, but I'm still perfectly capable of having sex. You can omit my somewhat lengthy backstory, or read the full thing if interested

Again, they have diminished, so it could be worth taking a break to see if they improve. I find that a short break makes almost no difference to breast growth, though this might not be true for all.

EXPERIMENT TO THE STARS:

This is fun, so I think it's worth its own thread. I'll kick one off.

TTFN

B.x

[bryony]

hi everyone, Good luck with the cold turkey experiment,

yesterday was my 7th day with 50mg of isoflavones, and my libido went totally down, i cant get a normal erection. So i am planning not take it for few days till feeling better, and then take only 25mg.

just want to tell you to know to all who wants male funtions.

Regards

Hello Blackwings,

My understanding is that isoflavones are not as strong as PM, so I'm wondering if this could be psychological. Are you able to get erection with stimulation? If not, it could be in the mind.

Maybe Isabella will comment, as I do not know enough about it. But it sounds like you are doing the right thing.

B.

[blackwings76]

hi everyone, Good luck with the cold turkey experiment,

yesterday was my 7th day with 50mg of isoflavones, and my libido went totally down, i cant get a normal erection. So i am planning not take it for few days till feeling better, and then take only 25mg.

just want to tell you to know to all who wants male funtions.

Regards

Hello Blackwings,

My understanding is that isoflavones are not as strong as PM, so I'm wondering if this could be psychological. Are you able to get erection with stimulation? If not, it could be in the mind.

Maybe Isabella will comment, as I do not know enough about it. But it sounds like you are doing the right thing.

B.

Hello!

I was commenting to a friend who was playing soccer yesterday and then had erection problems, of course he does not know about isoflavones, and said that is normal after playing sports, I do not usually do this kind of sport for a long , so it may just be that the problem, just in case, suspended a few days to see what happens.

Regards... blackwings.

[dargona]

Bryony, the idea of a full transition wasn't necessarily brought on by the 6000mg of PM, but rather the personality tests that were posted on the boards. After doing them I thought about the scores that I got and what they might mean, and tried to picture what my life might be like if I was to indeed transition.

I'm not throwing the idea out the window that I may or may not be trans-sexual, and part of my reasoning behind not wanting a full transition does factor from my social conditions and my relationships, but at the same time following along with your posts I feel the same way in that my obligations to the connections in which I've established are important to me and if not for my wife I wouldn't have had the strength to come out whatsoever so my personal progression is going at a comfortable pace for now, for both me and seemingly for her as well.

Regardless, the way I see it personally is that my desire to live as either a male or female is generally 50/50 so holistically I would be better off living as both. I've never wanted to lose what I have aside from the body hair (yucky). People in my community and at work and my friends have always seen me as "feminine" and I obviously have to agree with them because yes I am feminine, but at the same time I have certain male characteristics and traits that I AM happy with at the same time.

[bryony]

Bryony, the idea of a full transition wasn't necessarily brought on by the 6000mg of PM, but rather the personality tests that were posted on the boards. After doing them I thought about the scores that I got and what they might mean, and tried to picture what my life might be like if I was to indeed transition.

I'm not throwing the idea out the window that I may or may not be trans-sexual, and part of my reasoning behind not wanting a full transition does factor from my social conditions and my relationships, but at the same time following along with your posts I feel the same way in that my obligations to the connections in which I've established are important to me and if not for my wife I wouldn't have had the strength to come out whatsoever so my personal progression is going at a comfortable pace for now, for both me and seemingly for her as well.

Regardless, the way I see it personally is that my desire to live as either a male or female is generally 50/50 so holistically I would be better off living as both. I've never wanted to lose what I have aside from the body hair (yucky). People in my community and at work and my friends have always seen me as "feminine" and I obviously have to agree with them because yes I am feminine, but at the same time I have certain male characteristics and traits that I AM happy with at the same time.

Glad to hear it! Just keep a lookout, ok?

B.

[dargona]

Also I know damn well my random erections, or lack thereof are a cause of PM, no doubt about it, but I know that I don't need a break. I've missed doses of PM before, one time for only a day and I noticed a huge change in my mood/attitude. It's my personal belief at this point that estrogen of some form is necessary to keep me balanced between my body/mind/desires/etc.

So until PM stops me from enjoying sexual activities with my partner, or serious side effects start taking place, I don't see any reason to stop taking it.