[AbiDrew85]

@AbiDrew

You are too hard on yourself, I thought you were good looking too!


I had/am having electrolosis on my armpits so hair will never grow again in life. Maybe you could try that? It is worth it. I just don't like the tweezing part.

I know... But I still can't help it. Especially when I get into a depressive funk.

I do intend to have electrolysis. But I can't afford it right now. I can't really afford supplements. I can't afford new clothes or any makeup or... Yeah. I'm barely being kept fed right now tbh.

The way society is... it's impossible to make it as TS unless you can pass unquestioned. And it's impossible to pass unquestioned unless you've already made it and can afford all the professional assistance required to do so. And if you've already made it and therefore can afford to get everything done to pass unquestioned... it's too late anyways and you'll lose everything you care about in life because no one in your "made it" but MALE life will be able to tolerate you suddenly being a woman.

Unless and until society can cut out the bigoted asshatted arse backwards view that there can only be male and there can only be female and males can only love females and females can only love males and... Life for people like me is designed to be absolutely unforgiving. Therefore I have to be even more unforgiving of myself if I'm to ever get anywhere. I literally have to be PERFECT. Or I will never get anywhere.

Literally at school today someone told me I was a "confused" person. Because I'm neither democrat nor republican, and, in their minds, neither male, nor female. And since I CAN'T NOT be male and there's NO WAY anyone can EVER not be either a REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRAT, I MUST be CONFUSED AS HELL. ... Right. Honestly I know myself better I think than probably the vast majority of the people in this world. Most people never have to truly face the question of just who the hell are they. Some of them I don't think could face the truth if they did ask that question.

But no. I'm just a massively confused anorexic girly boy with strange body image problems who should just man up and stop being so damn girly.