[AbiDrew85]

My bank has apparently decided to take it upon themselves to make my life more difficult...

In the name of "security" I am unable to make ANY kind of overseas payment with my card... And of course ALL the pharmacies that you can use to get controlled hormones without a prescription are overseas...

I found a German one that's VERY cheap and extremely reliable... A years supply of estradiol for less than 300 bucks kind of cheap. The only way to get em cheaper is with a prescription AND insurance to cover part of the cost. Slow shipping, but, I can live with that. Most of them are slow. Problem is that it seems the only payment option they permit is of the plastic kind. Which my bank has decided that nope, I'm not allowed to do that.

Kinda sucks.

Anyways, I've posted a note to both my bank and the German pharmacy asking if I have any options either way. Either unblock at the bank or alternative payment at the pharmacy... We'll see what happens... meanwhile seems I'll be AT LEAST a month without my usual estradiol doses. I'll try to compensate by doubling my PM and taking the extra internally with my morning mud.

I do still have SOME estradiol left... 12 2mg tablets worth. I'll start taking one of those a day when I'm supposed to be ramping up and just take it one a day until I run out... That'll hopefully at least help. That'll put it at starting on day 12 and going through day 23.

Other changes have been made as well. I'm no longer going to take saw palmetto, I don't think I need it anymore and all it seemed to be doing was making me more resistant to losing weight.

I'm also discontinuing two of my cardiovascular related supplements... It would appear I have gotten to the root cause of that mess and that was thyroid... So I'll be taking the thyroid supplement and Co-Q10 and discontinuing both Rhodiola Rosea and Butcher's Broom.

It's also on cycle day 1 right now, I'm not yet experiencing any severe physical discomfort, but I have had some mild cramping. And I've most definitely been a little extra moody recently... But it wasn't really until day 2 that the real fun started last month either.

I suppose we'll find out tomorrow if everything was purely from the Truvia poisoning or if there's something more to it.

And I really do think now that I was being poisoned by the Truvia. Perhaps not QUITE as badly as my mother, but when I tried it again I only drank like 2 glasses and started having symptoms, immediately stopped it and haven't touched it since. Been sticking to sugar and now I'm using a Stevia glycolate. I did make some with Sweat Leaf stevia as well, but something about the Sweat Leaf stuff just didn't seem right to me. I like the glycolate from NOW a lot better.

Anyways... those 5 days were WAAAY worse than any of my other reactions, granted I didn't really give the next one much chance, but... I guess we'll see if there's anything else to it soon enough.

EDIT: OH! And on the voice front... It seems that I still revert to a sort of defensive mode and adopt a sort-of masculine voice, but an unassuming one, when I feel threatened... I need to work on that. Probably some residual fear-based programming I need to overcome. Somehow... Sigh... My life is never easy...