[Melani]

This is a repost due to I put the original in the wrong area. Over the last two weeks ive been taking SP at about 1800mg/day. Yesterday my PM finally showed. I'm ordered the powder so I can control the dosage. I'll be taking around 750 mgs/day to start, sort as a way to ease into what I want. I'll probably back off to about 900 mgs of the SP until the bottle is empty then discontinue SP altogether. Oh btw I do take ground flax seed for its health benefits but I can't ignore the phytoestrogenic effects. With all that stated I am looking for slight body feminization. Softer skin, better nails and I'd love a fuller rounder butt, but who won't. I'm not concerned with breast development but some growth would be fine and expected. Im also looking for significant muscle mass reduction. So any suggestion/ advice as to my program and expectations

[flamesabers]

Hello Melani.

I suggest taking calcium supplements to get better nails.

[Melani]

I do take both the flax, also good for hair skin and nails, and PM with skim milk smoothes or yogurt. I believe I get a fair amount of calcium in my diet. But thanks for the suggestion. I've also heard PM helps with attitude management, is this true? I should could use a calming effect.

[flamesabers]

I've also heard PM helps with attitude management, is this true? I should could use a calming effect.

It depends. Some members report the "brain rewiring" experience while others do not. I fall in the former group. Until you start taking pm, it's hard to say whether you're going to get any mental benefits from it or not.

[AbiDrew85]

It depends. Some members report the "brain rewiring" experience while others do not. I fall in the former group. Until you start taking pm, it's hard to say whether you're going to get any mental benefits from it or not.

Your answer is a little more black and white than it actually is...

Some people go into this already knowing full well that they're transsexual and are EXPECTING that brain chemistry improvement... that's me. Others go into it for whatever other reasons they can come up with to explain their feelings away without fully exploring them... That's the group you fell into. Still others actually are, for whatever reason, just men who want to be slightly more feminine. And/or boobs.

[Melani]

So your saying no way to know and it depends really on how my own body will react taking PM it might help or might not. Only time will tell. Is that about right.

[AbiDrew85]

Pretty much, Melani, yepper.

Some people just KNOW. But some people are very good at hiding even from themselves and only do what I like to call "a little leaking" and get themselves in deeper than they realize.

I admit I don't understand them, but there ARE men who just want to be a little bit feminine but still be completely men. These guys generally never experience any mental/emotional changes from the chemical changes that occur from this.

The mental/emotional link with hormone balance is a very complicated one... Honestly.

There are probably even more groups even I haven't noticed. So yeah... you really can't KNOW how you'll react mentally and emotionally to this stuff.

EDIT: Actually. There is one way you can KNOW for absolute CERTAIN. Be a full-blown transsexual and completely open with yourself about it like me. I haven't always been, and I actually did do the "leaking" and experimentation before diving in. I just did it before joining this place, and through a slightly different road than most of the folks here.

[Melani]

I believe I am transgender in the sense that I have very strong femine influence in my personality. I'm divorced with kids so with that I feel I have the obligation to remain their father. However in my own time I do go out en femme shop and date go to clubs restaurants etc so I don't fear my TG side at all. Having a mental realignment would be cool

[Pansy-Mae]

I believe I am transgender in the sense that I have very strong femine influence in my personality. I'm divorced with kids so with that I feel I have the obligation to remain their father. However in my own time I do go out en femme shop and date go to clubs restaurants etc so I don't fear my TG side at all. Having a mental realignment would be cool

This whole question of 'maleness' and 'femaleness' is as we all know extremely complex and IMO it is impossible and possibly even detrimental to try to categorise ourselves too tightly.
My view is that there is a continuous spectrum from one end to the other but with many harmonics as well.

I can't and don't want to argue with Abi's point of view but I would simply observe that she tends to exhibit a fairly common trait of many "full-blown transexuals" who tend to say, in one way or another, that theirs is the only way and it should be full-blown or nothing. Many, if not most, of us on here, are what we have previously described as " inbetweenies" - we simply do not want to go all the way, but we do want to develop breasts.
There is some work done in the US by Anne Vitale which suggests a possible link between the maternal androgen/oestrogen balance which can leave some male babies with a brain that is pre-programmed to expect a higher level of femaleness. This manifests itself in a need to cross-dress, etc, and can cause inner conflicts leading to depression and anger. Taking oestrogens appears to give the brain what it has been artificially seeking and this can have several knock on effects - relieving the inner tensions and giving a feeling of peace and calmness, and most surprisingly ( on the surface), many of us realise that we lose the drive to cross-dress! Ironically, the very act of developing the most obvious outward symbol of femininity removes the need for it!

[Melani]

Insiteful ....when I use the term transgender I used it knowing it's broad meaning. No pun intended. Believe me I know the spectrum well I have meet so many different transgender friends who all seem to be all over the map as to how they express their femininity. Sometimes I believe it would be easier if i were full blown TS at least then I'd understand why I feel as i do Of course that would lead to a whole different set of struggles and challenges. Theirs no easy answer other than just being true to ones self and Follow your path.