11-01-2013, 08:22 AM
OK, in response to a question from Misty 0732, I'm opening a discussion, the subject of which will be How, and why, our SOs either accept or don't accept our "behavior". This should be reasonably non-technical, and not require any medical analysis, (hopefully, as I don't need any deep-thought headaches). To whomever may read or contribute, there is a sort of disclaimer, that being "what works for one or some, may not necessarily produce the same results for others. We all know there is no "one size fits all".
I was asked how my wife accepted me for what I am and do. My first wife, incidentally, did not, and would not. Not the reason we divorced after 3 kids, though. That was a result of infidelity, hers, not mine. Enough said.
My wonderful present wife, however, was an entirely different story. I met her my third trip to Korea. Not wanting a repeat of the first round, when we became close, I showed her a couple photos of Patti. (Had lots less wrinkles then, and actually looked quite good). She never hesitated, asking me lots of questions, but showing no negativity, only curiousity. She naturally asked me if I was interested in men, and I responded "no". (True at the time, but it's only been a fleeting thought a couple times since). I would offer that a combination of things were at work. 1. She's Asian, with an accompanying different outlook on life. 2. All the Korean guys she'd ever been out with were, in her words, assholes. So, in effect, we had something in common. She'd given up on Korean mens' attitude of being the "absolute god" in a relationship, and I had long since given up on selfish, self-centered Euro women. 3. Her religion played a part. She's Bhuddist. That did away with all the hyprocrisy and greed, and status hunting. While not Bhuddist myself, we share a vast majority of the same principles, attitudes, and lifeview. So many times when one of us says "I love you", the other will say, "you'd better, because you're stuck with me". That would be my definition of soulmate, being joined almost through destiny. 4. We also share a common background, as she was born dirt-poor in post-war Korea, and I not much better, being raised by, (God bless them), poor, but very caring parents on a small farm. My wife, Ogie, has often told me she believes that in my prior life I was female. Hmmm.
Ours is as close as a "meant-to-be" pairing could get. I truly wish all others could find that. Not only would the two of you get along very well, there'd probably be lots less crap in the world.
If this thread goes no further, I urge everyone to be honest and above-board with the other person in your relationship. There is really no halfway if you go on this journey. If you don't say anything, it will surface in due time, and be much harder to deal with. If you do tell them, be inclusive in telling them all it is you desire. There would be far fewer tragic things than what could happen if you say you just want "little boobies", and push on to C cups that are going to be an embarrassment for the other party. If they show understanding, get the whole story out. If you can't do that, then maybe you, and not the other person, has the problem.
It's not the main subject, I know, But you must also consider what your real, and practical goals are here. If you want nubbies, they come and go. Anything more will be around a long long time. Do you really want to be a 65-70 year-old with saggy D size boobs, and saggy butt? Can you picture that? More importantly can your partner?
I left family out of this discussion because I have no intention of telling them. No need, as I'm not transsexual.Those who are, that's a bridge I can't help with. I'm actually probably not much help for most of you, anyway. My situation is quite possibly unique among us here. However, we must think this thru, and be prepared to offer honesty to our partners. It's a long and hard enough life the way it is. A marriage or other relationship without honesty, is no real relationship at all. The worst could happen, if you tell only half the story, you could later lose the relationship, and a lot of your money, and be embarrassed socially. And for what reason? You couldn't be up-front when you had the chance?? I don't mean to sound harsh, but the facts have a bad habit of showing up sooner or later. Better now , than then.
I wish all of you the very best of luck!! Patti
I was asked how my wife accepted me for what I am and do. My first wife, incidentally, did not, and would not. Not the reason we divorced after 3 kids, though. That was a result of infidelity, hers, not mine. Enough said.
My wonderful present wife, however, was an entirely different story. I met her my third trip to Korea. Not wanting a repeat of the first round, when we became close, I showed her a couple photos of Patti. (Had lots less wrinkles then, and actually looked quite good). She never hesitated, asking me lots of questions, but showing no negativity, only curiousity. She naturally asked me if I was interested in men, and I responded "no". (True at the time, but it's only been a fleeting thought a couple times since). I would offer that a combination of things were at work. 1. She's Asian, with an accompanying different outlook on life. 2. All the Korean guys she'd ever been out with were, in her words, assholes. So, in effect, we had something in common. She'd given up on Korean mens' attitude of being the "absolute god" in a relationship, and I had long since given up on selfish, self-centered Euro women. 3. Her religion played a part. She's Bhuddist. That did away with all the hyprocrisy and greed, and status hunting. While not Bhuddist myself, we share a vast majority of the same principles, attitudes, and lifeview. So many times when one of us says "I love you", the other will say, "you'd better, because you're stuck with me". That would be my definition of soulmate, being joined almost through destiny. 4. We also share a common background, as she was born dirt-poor in post-war Korea, and I not much better, being raised by, (God bless them), poor, but very caring parents on a small farm. My wife, Ogie, has often told me she believes that in my prior life I was female. Hmmm.
Ours is as close as a "meant-to-be" pairing could get. I truly wish all others could find that. Not only would the two of you get along very well, there'd probably be lots less crap in the world.
If this thread goes no further, I urge everyone to be honest and above-board with the other person in your relationship. There is really no halfway if you go on this journey. If you don't say anything, it will surface in due time, and be much harder to deal with. If you do tell them, be inclusive in telling them all it is you desire. There would be far fewer tragic things than what could happen if you say you just want "little boobies", and push on to C cups that are going to be an embarrassment for the other party. If they show understanding, get the whole story out. If you can't do that, then maybe you, and not the other person, has the problem.
It's not the main subject, I know, But you must also consider what your real, and practical goals are here. If you want nubbies, they come and go. Anything more will be around a long long time. Do you really want to be a 65-70 year-old with saggy D size boobs, and saggy butt? Can you picture that? More importantly can your partner?
I left family out of this discussion because I have no intention of telling them. No need, as I'm not transsexual.Those who are, that's a bridge I can't help with. I'm actually probably not much help for most of you, anyway. My situation is quite possibly unique among us here. However, we must think this thru, and be prepared to offer honesty to our partners. It's a long and hard enough life the way it is. A marriage or other relationship without honesty, is no real relationship at all. The worst could happen, if you tell only half the story, you could later lose the relationship, and a lot of your money, and be embarrassed socially. And for what reason? You couldn't be up-front when you had the chance?? I don't mean to sound harsh, but the facts have a bad habit of showing up sooner or later. Better now , than then.
I wish all of you the very best of luck!! Patti
)