[Elisaustin]

I should be a dating expert by now but I am not.
This is a tuffy Sabers.
Being a transgender girl (for a better word to describe me).
In the wonderful world of dating I felt most of the time like a novelty item.
Some are curious, some it does not seem to matter, some think because you are a transgender girl you are automatically a easy slut, while others are just
are totally disgusted and there is a risk of getting the crap beat out of you.
When you meet Mr or Ms right you know it, but they are few and far between.

[Missed Miss]

It hasn't effected me at all!! I've been sexless for just under 17 years and girlfriendless for just under 12. Nothing has changed in all those years and I kinda seriously doubt it ever will!! If I do get another one, she damn well BETTER be accepting of my girlness, like the last one was, or, she just won't BE my girlfriend.

[Misty0732]

Actually I think a bigger obstacle would be the infertility. I know you have stated that you do not want children, but being childless is a lot to ask of most potential mates. Still, they are out there!

Misty

[flamesabers]

Actually I think a bigger obstacle would be the infertility. I know you have stated that you do not want children, but being childless is a lot to ask of most potential mates. Still, they are out there!

Misty

I agree, but I think the issue of having children or not is a two-way street. Becoming a parent I think is a life-changing responsibility and should never be taken lightly. I wouldn't want to change someone's mind on this issue, just as I wouldn't appreciate someone trying to convince me to have kids.

Ideally I'll find someone who is like-minded with me on this issue.

[MissC]

From Urban Dictionary, a Boston Marriage is:

A relationship with a strong emotional bond between two people based on friendship. It transcends a typical friendship, but is not romantic.

Anyone has thoughts or experiences they would like to share?

Why, yes!

I'm not sure if there's some context I'm missing... but I think I have your "Boston Marriage" ... with my best male friend of nearly 20 years. We call it, in modern parlance, a "bromance" I believe. His fiancee and her girlfriend, I'm pretty sure, have running bets as to when it gets naked. I know they both want to watch the 'boy-and-boy-with-breasts' action. Sheesh. Women are cads. They won't let us watch them engage in sapphic coitus.

Anyway.

I can tell you that, not only having breasts, but cross-dressing too (I think you've mentioned that) do not prevent romantic linkings with females. To be sure, your pool is diminished somewhat, but who wants a girl who's so shallow she's only into men who *look* like stereotypical jocks? Right then.

There are a few women out there, strange as this may seem, who dig guys for their brains.

So. Here's my tally, so far, concerning this matter (as I've had boobs since puberty, i.e. before noticing things with vaginas, it's kind of moot, so let's go with girls who knew I wear clothes from the wrong side of the store): 3 long term girlfriends of 1 year plus, 2 friends with benefits, 2 one-nighters, and one fiscal-quarter fling.

One of the one-nighters called it off on me. But she was married, and, well, I didn't leave enough bruises to float her boat. Oh well.

I went to a Halloween party in a low-cut dress a couple years ago... left with three phone numbers, one of which was that 3-month dating thing.

Flame, this is not an obstacle. Your own self-doubt, uncertainty, lack of confidence -- those are obstacles. You are too busy questioning yourself as to who might want you, to go out and find someone who does.

My last girlfriend wanted to rape me every night. I'm with you on this; just not a thing I want to do all the time. Some guys complain about wives who only want it once a month or so; to me, that's ideal. And stay the fuck out of my hair the rest of the month.

Maybe I'm not really LTR material, come to think of it.

[flamesabers]

MissC,

Thank you for your response.

The idea of meeting a future girlfriend while dolled up in a dress at a halloween party is quite alluring... It would certainly be a good way to know immediately what women would be accepting of my crossdressing and pursuit of NBE.

Yeah, I've figured I create my own obstacles in this regard. Perhaps the good news for me is when it comes to gender identity and such, I tend to be much more free spirited and self-confident than I am with other aspects of my life. The catch is I tend not to be an expressive person in real life and it takes time for me to test the waters and expand my boundaries.

As far as frequency of sex, once a month with my future significant other sounds okay to me. I wouldn't mind cuddling every night though.

[Secret Lives]

flamesabres,

I'd like to make a quick observation that it might be a matter of where you're looking for a person that might be accepting of who you are. If you are in a place with a lot of options to meet people with an obvious interest in cross dressers or feminine males you would have less problems than your local library. I hope you understand what I'm saying. Don't put the limits in place by looking somewhere that is harder to find a match, then reach out a little and let things take their course.

Good luck.

SL

[flamesabers]

flamesabres,

I'd like to make a quick observation that it might be a matter of where you're looking for a person that might be accepting of who you are. If you are in a place with a lot of options to meet people with an obvious interest in cross dressers or feminine males you would have less problems than your local library. I hope you understand what I'm saying. Don't put the limits in place by looking somewhere that is harder to find a match, then reach out a little and let things take their course.

Good luck.

SL

I agree, and thank you for the advice.