[Sc0urge]

So, let's start with a bit about me, shall we?

I'm an 18-year-old high school student from the US. Ever since childhood, I've wanted to have breasts. Blah blah, always felt a little jealous when looking at women's, temporarily grew them during puberty and had a great time in spite of the awkwardness, would pretend I was female frequently while growing up, et cetera, I'll spare you the details. Long story short, I've always been a little girlier than most guys both mentally and physically.
So, about a week ago, I heard permanent breast growth in males was (A) a thing and (B) could be willingly induced, and I was all over it. I went down to my local pharmacy, got some saw palmetto, fenugreek, and some other assorted herbal supplements, and enjoyed about ten days of self-confidence, even going so far as to order about $100 in PM, addressing it to general delivery at a local post office to avoid telling my parents of any of it and paying for it via a gift credit card I had purpose-bought for the same reason... Until literally the first thing that I thought when I woke up yesterday was, "Am I really sure about this"?
I mean, yeah, I've wanted it since I was a kid, and feel pretty strongly about it, but I was planning on joining the military, where transgendered folk are considered "Unfit to serve" and are kicked out as such, plus the fact that I'm a bit antsy about abandoning what little manly-man-ness I cobbled together being an awkward, effeminate male in high school, not to mention how to break the news to my parents, who already think I'm weird and probably wouldn't support such a radical decision at all. I'm beginning to doubt the whole thing, really- Am I really a transexual, or just sad and confused? Should I try having breasts for, like, a week, and then go back if I have second thoughts? Should I just wait a year or two and then reexamine the situation, under the assumption that the option will always be there?

Halp meh D:

[flamesabers]

Hello Sc0urge.

Welcome to the board!

You don't have to be a transexual to want to have breasts. There are plenty of members who are"inbetweenies" in regards to gender identity on this board. Taking NBE herbs may help with alleviating your gender dysphoria. However, growing breasts may create consequences that you are unprepared to deal with.

If you seriously want to join the military, I strongly suggest putting any thoughts of growing breasts on hold. It's very likely you'll have practically no privacy while in the military. Not only might you be ridiculed or worse by peers when they see your budding breasts, there is also the possibility your leadership may find and question you about your stash of NBE herbs during room inspections. In addition, the physical feminization brought about by NBE herbs may make it very difficult for you to fulfill the military's physical fitness standards. Lastly, if you get deployed overseas it might be difficult if not impossible to get NBE herbs delivered to you.

Another issue I see is your parents. While you are still living under their roof, it may not be practical for you to pursue NBE. If you want to try having breasts, getting breast forms would be one option. For a inexpensive alternative, you could also wear a bra stuffed with socks or kleenex. To the best of my knowledge, the majority of members here start NBE during their 20's or later on. In all honesty, you may have to wait until you have complete financial independence before you can pursue NBE without any fear of interference or repercussions from your parents. It's possible to achieve a decent amount of growth if you wait a few years. I'm 27. I started NBE when I was 25. For me it's hard to imagine trying to pursue NBE when I was your age. Not only did I lack the finances at the time, I also would have been too self-conscious to undertake such a journey. When I was 18, the 'daring' feminine behavior I was pursuing was wearing clear nail polish.

If you have doubts about growing breasts, I think the best thing to do is wait and perhaps do some soul searching in the meantime. Growing breasts can be a very rewarding experience, but it also has trade-offs that may be too much for some individuals such as a potential loss of fertility and sexual functionality. If you want to talk about NBE, gender identity, joining the military, etc, feel free to send me a private message or whatever.

[ExcitedAndNervous]

Sabers is right, on all areas absolutely right. And wow I had no idea most members or individuals pursuing this was in their 20's in beginning. That makes me feel much more assured seeing as I am 27 as well and started when I was 23. But I'll save that for my own thread.
What I will add on to though is being 18 you must realize that although you your whole life have wanted this, your whole life really isnt a long time at this point. It is always best to BE SURE than to BE IFFY. My philosophy on anything is if you have to reassure yourself, chances are, its not the right thing to do, or the right time to do it. When it is you will be confident in your decision. It is normal to be nervous or question such a decision. It is after all breasts. And you are a male or female whatever you feel on the inside you are you and only you can determine how to make the exterior reflect the interior.

You are 18 not 60 you have plenty of time to think it through and reflect on exactly what it is you wish to achieve. Whether its a general in the military (which God bless you for even thinking to pursue to protect this great country) or a male or mtf with beautiful breasts and a figure to match. You are you and only you can figure out what it is that You desire. Take time, meditate, think, susansplace is another great site for transgenders and those in question to find answers, support and comfort in discussing openly. I know for me the hardest thing is having 0 people around me to understand my desires and wants. Thank God for people on this site that I am getting excited to know as I start my own hopeful journey.

[PattiJT]

Scourge,

I'm going to take a different tack here. Seeing you have a nearly non-existent profile, (which seems to be a common sin here) I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you're being mostly up-front with us. I agree, 18 is a bit young to be considering drastic moves such as those you contemplate. HOWEVER, that wouldn't exactly be unheard of. Being "only" 18, maybe national news and events don't draw a lot of your attention, but as a person who is afflicted with the "condition",(for lack of a better word) that you are struggling with, it may interest you that "don't ask don't tell" has been repealed and done away with. Sure, if you go running around drawing attention to yourself, you will definitely be spotlighted. And, unless you have an overwhelming desire to forfeit most of your own thought processes, for god's sake, don't enlist to be a "jarhead". If you're as "femmy" as you say, (which is an oft-exaggerated comment) I'd remind you that there is the Coast Guard. Outside of the rescue swimmers, you don't see a lot of hunky macho types in their midst.
That aside, you're not going to get a set of breasts on $100 worth of PM. So, forget about a "booby test-drive". Ain't gonna happen. I will, however tell you that were I you, I would go ahead and take the PM that you have. Take 1-2 capsules a day. The reason I suggest that is to see if it provides you with a sort of "calming effect" that may make your issue easier to deal with. Even finding out if that happens will take more than a week. If that works, and enables you to see that it can be dealt with, then I assure you, that should you want to do the things you mention, you can do it on a minimal dosage with probably few physical changes. You're full of (possibly) raging hormones right now, and that only serves to complicate your problem. I'd give it a try. You already spent your money. If you get any private messages offering to buy your PM at a discount, (hey, it happens) ignore it and use it. You may have doubts later if you don't. At least, I know I would.
If you're worried that PM may "re-wire" your brain, don't worry about that. My opinion is that PM performs a sort of "balancing act" that is only there as long as you take it. Actually, I think, (here's one for the rest of you to sink your teeth into) that brain-rewiring is an overly-bantered pseudo invention from someone attempting to sound impressive. While PM will, in sufficient doses, and over sufficient time, make physical changes, (and some of these may compound themselves to cause further unintended progression), I don't think it will make a transsexual out of someone who is not already pre-disposed as such. I feel that PM is simply an "urge-suppressor". While that term is not as sexy as "brain-rewiring", it's a lot easier to define, and understand, and the result is the same. When the "suppressing" factor is removed, the urge comes back. Re-wiring implies that a permanent change has been made. I've never re-wired a house only to have to come back a month later and re-wire it all over again. In the military, fire suppression is only effective as long as you have lead to throw downrange. When you stop blasting, they start shooting back.
Long story short, try it. Just don't get crazy-stupid and start taking 6-8 capsules a day. That would only compound your current situation, especially the home life. You may (hopefully), find that 1-2 daily allows you to cope with your quandary much better. I'm not going to sugar-coat it and say that will solve all your problems. It may, but on the other hand, you may indeed discover that you want to go further. That's a whole different situation than the simple confusion you're dealing with now. And will require you to re-define everything in your life. Your decision, but it will be interesting to hear how it turns out should you give it a try. Take care!! Patti

[Marina Kits]

You've gotten some REALLY good advice so far Scourge. I hope you take it to heart if indeed, your questions are sincere. (Some people ask "questions" but are really only interested in hearing affirmation for what they already believe). ...I'm not saying that's you but experience has made me a little more cautious.

Anyway, I think Flame, Patti and Excited articulated some excellent thoughts for you, the only thing I would add is when I read your original post, I sensed a fair amount of uncertainty or indecision. That tells ME, you're not quite ready to attempt NBE (hope you don't mind the blunt honesty). Even those of us who are really determined have second thoughts once in a while so for you, you don't even know for sure BEFORE you start. I think you should chill for a while and wait for the determination to come (if it does for you). OR, do as Patti suggested and see if you can get a calming effect with a low dose (500-100mg per day) so you limit the possibility of growing breasts before you're ready. I don't doubt for a second that you're in a mental whirlwind right now; we can all relate to that and understand why you'd want to do something ...anything. I feel bad for you for that reason.

No matter what, I hope you stick around here even if your confusion doesn't lift. You're more than welcome to be part of the conversation even if you're not taking herbs and still trying to decide if NBE is for you. Hopefully your involvement here will bring clarity to your decision. Blessings

[julieTG]

Excellent post Patti
Julie

[Karren]

At 18 I had no clue what I wanted out of life.... gender or other wise..... you've got plenty of time to figure that out.... but since the new government regulations allow you to stay on your parents health insurance through 26..... if you want to make any drastic body changes and they are covered by their insurance.... or just get them to pay for it.....you might want to get it done before you fly the coop?

[Lenneth]

If you're worried that PM may "re-wire" your brain, don't worry about that. My opinion is that PM performs a sort of "balancing act" that is only there as long as you take it.

I feel that PM is simply an "urge-suppressor". While that term is not as sexy as "brain-rewiring", it's a lot easier to define, and understand, and the result is the same. When the "suppressing" factor is removed, the urge comes back.

Another good Analogy is likening PM to a high quality suspension upgrade on a car, something that can make the road (Life) less rough, and if you want the roughness back for whatever reason, just put the old suspension back on (go off of PM).

Just the same, neither PM or the Suspension is not without a cost/side-effect that eventually being breasts if you take a high enough dose.

[julieTG]

But then in reality you could upgrade your car suspension as well so your
Breasts don't bounce around so much

X

Julie

[sfem]

I think I lean towards PattiJT's view on rewiring, to some extent anyway. I have found that PM does change my emotional state. I have proven to myself that the effect only lasts a short time after I remove the PM intake from my life. To me, re-wiring suggests some permanence, like the genuine breast development PM can cause. The boobies might deflate somewhat, but don't go away if you stop the PM. The emotional changes do. A small dose of 500mg/day to 1g/day might be just the experiment you need to find out if taking it makes you unhappier or happier. You are highly unlikely to grow anything irreversible with only $100 worth, unless you have some underlying physical or genetic condition which accelerates the process. As to most starting in their 20's, I believe the comment was in their 20's or later. There are folks of all ages on here. Some started young (teens and up), some older (60+), and some in the middle of life. Whatever you choose, let us know how it turns out, and best of luck with whichever path you pick.