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Am a bit on the fence

#1
Question 

Hey everyone,

I have been lurking around and reading a bit of the forums on here as I have seen it gives a lot of great information on something that I have been a lot more curious/excited about. I have had a lot of personal revelations lately, to include bisexuality. I've been really trying to figure out who I really am rather than allow myself to live in the role that assumed of me since I was born with a penis. I have had a larger and larger desire to become less masculine, and to become more feminine, which would include growing a nice set of breasts. I have a good bit of chest hair (not a sweater, but good enough) and would like to lose it without shaving it. I would actually like to lose about all of my body hair. I have been reading about PM and SP and have been considering starting them (I already have the SP and have been taking that.) I am thinking of buying a kit from Purafem to try and see where it goes.

The only thing with all of this is I in one sense I do want to become more feminine, I do not exactly like the idea of presenting myself as a female quite yet. I feel like I am trapped in my job, and that I would not really be able to face the people I work with the same if I begin to start growing breasts and showing. Even more so, I don't know how I could explain it all to my kids if suddenly daddy is wearing a bra and has girl clothes at his house. Not only that, but I still have the desire to be with women just as much, and just don't know how well transgenders appeal to most women. In the end I know that I should just be myself, and if I find a woman that would like someone like me, then that's great. I have thought about making a transition to becoming transgender quite a few times, but have never thought that it would be doable because of either being married, or my job, or whatever reason. (My marriage is about done now though which leads me to pursue this curiosity more.)

Anyway, I just felt like I needed to get myself out on the forum a bit and say hi.
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#2

(01-10-2013, 03:29 AM)fwoodhull Wrote:  Hey everyone,

I have been lurking around and reading a bit of the forums on here as I have seen it gives a lot of great information on something that I have been a lot more curious/excited about. I have had a lot of personal revelations lately, to include bisexuality. I've been really trying to figure out who I really am rather than allow myself to live in the role that assumed of me since I was born with a penis. I have had a larger and larger desire to become less masculine, and to become more feminine, which would include growing a nice set of breasts. I have a good bit of chest hair (not a sweater, but good enough) and would like to lose it without shaving it. I would actually like to lose about all of my body hair. I have been reading about PM and SP and have been considering starting them (I already have the SP and have been taking that.) I am thinking of buying a kit from Purafem to try and see where it goes.

The only thing with all of this is I in one sense I do want to become more feminine, I do not exactly like the idea of presenting myself as a female quite yet. I feel like I am trapped in my job, and that I would not really be able to face the people I work with the same if I begin to start growing breasts and showing. Even more so, I don't know how I could explain it all to my kids if suddenly daddy is wearing a bra and has girl clothes at his house. Not only that, but I still have the desire to be with women just as much, and just don't know how well transgenders appeal to most women. In the end I know that I should just be myself, and if I find a woman that would like someone like me, then that's great. I have thought about making a transition to becoming transgender quite a few times, but have never thought that it would be doable because of either being married, or my job, or whatever reason. (My marriage is about done now though which leads me to pursue this curiosity more.)

Anyway, I just felt like I needed to get myself out on the forum a bit and say hi.

Hi!
As I've just said moments ago to another newbie, I'm like you, except that I was never married and have not had kids, yet, but I'd love to!! One of the biggest reasons I was not given mones and blockers after going to Persad for 14 years is BECAUSE I'm a fence-sitter. If I could step into a machine and step out a fully functional woman moments later, I'd DEFINATELY go in a HEARTBEAT!!!! But, not going through a transition is not a "life threatening" thing for me. Nearly every time I see a good looking girl I think to myself, "DAMN, I wish I had her body!!!!" But, the other half of me also says, "DAMN, I'd love to fuck her!!!!" I'm comfortable being a guy, but, I'd MUCH rather be a girl!! So, because I'm not coming with a string of Wile E. Coyote type plans to get rid of Sir Richard Longfellow, they don't think I'm a good candidate for transition.
Anyway, good luck with your journey!! I hope you love it and love getting there in the end!! Take care!!
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#3

Hello and welcome. Always good to see new blood joining in.
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#4

I heard sitting on fences can be fun? If you have nothing to hold you back.... hop off and see what happens.... Welcome!
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#5

Hello fwoodhull.

Welcome to the board. Smile

To clarify, a number of members here pursue NBE with no intention of transitioning.
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#6

Thanks everyone! That NBE is REALLY informative! Thanks for that!

I have been spending a bit of time just trying to figure out the acronyms around here, but I'm in the military so I am usually pretty good at it. Smile I figured NBE mean Natural Breast Enhancement.

Today has been a very cruddy day, as my wife has reaffirmed me that she is indeed leaving. Either I'm heartless or I deep down inside think it is better for both of us because I don't feel inclined to stop it, even though it feels like my insides are being ripped out of me. I figure I may as well begin to dabble in exploration to help ease the pain a bit (that and a large bottom of rum.) Actually, I realized that while some guys make the joke that they are a lesbian trapped in a guy's body...well I am starting to think that of myself. Smile I'd really like to become more feminine, but sometimes I enjoy being (at least trying to be) brawn. The idea of doing make up and nails and such never really interested me, but I'm not completely opposed to the idea.

As I have been deciding to really pursuit this more, I have been taking 2 Black Cohosh, 2 SP in morning and night, and 2 Fenugreek each day to start (been going for about a week.) I have heard good things about Purafem so I may get a bit of that and see how it goes. I figure I may as well attach some pics of what I am starting with, which may be a good start already. I never really noticed it before, but I think it may be because I haven't shaved my chest in a very long time, since my soon to be ex-wife hated it when I did (she said I looked like a 12 year old boy...I kind of did. Tongue ) Oh, and I decided on a whim to go and buy my first panties and a bra to try out. I tried to research some sizes that would fit, so hopefully all goes well.

Anyway, thank you all for the warm welcome and I'm so glad to have found this forum to begin my journey! I can't wait to see what this holds for me!
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