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Some roadblocks on my road

#21

She says that I am never going to be female because I am so insensitive. I do feel very numb to everything, but I am beginning to wonder if it is my anxiety medication. She also said that I don't really want to be a woman, and that I just want the parts, so it's just incredibly perverted.

Nothing quite like having you wife of almost 11 years tell you that she hates you, and that she hopes that I suffer through all of this and can never forgive myself for it. Damn I need a drink.
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#22

So I'm staying at a friend's house now. Yup.
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#23

A little less then a year ago I confessed my feelings of wanting to be a woman (maybe) to my wife while she was about 6 months pregnant with our second child. My mind was flooded with desire for breasts (which led me here), dressing in women's clothes, and the like. Oh was she upset. We had a very difficult few weeks. She didn't kick me out nor did she leave but she had one request; see a therapist.

A little back story... Before having our first child she found my clothes, wig, and make up I would dress in when she was away. Before we had our first child she made me promise to never dress in front of her or the kids. Not even for Halloween.

We also talked a lot. She knows I have had these feelings of being the wrong gender since I was little. We discovered Stress increases my desire to dress and fuels my thoughts of transitioning. Specifically, stress over money, or rather a lack of it which is ironic since transitioning is incredibly expensive to do it right. The other trigger seems to be the change in season. Winter months are especially hard.

I am having them now which is what has drawn me back to this site after many months away. But I am determined to be the father my children need. I wish you all the best in this difficult time for your family.

Sincerely,

Golus aka Jessica
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