[Pansy-Mae]

I'm not going to repeat what others have said, and what I've said before, but I would say that I can totally relate to Patti's post and sfem's post, above, and to flame's response.
We all have detailed differences, of course, but it seems to me that we are pretty much of a muchness overall.

[SarahSchilling]

I'm not going to repeat what others have said, and what I've said before, but I would say that I can totally relate to Patti's post and sfem's post, above, and to flame's response.
We all have detailed differences, of course, but it seems to me that we are pretty much of a muchness overall.

I wish i could put myself into that category, but I find myself identifying more with girlalex's post. Except, I find male genitalia on me grosser than female genitalia on others.

The few sexual relationships I've been in with women were always weird. Its like I'm playing a male role that just seems totally wrong to me. Like something I was obligated to do to keep their company. I never understood how you guys got married lol.

I guess we're just different animals altogether. Probably shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who's read some of my posts lol

[PattiJT]

Flame,
A couple of clarifications may be in order. (I shouldn't write late at night.)

To try to explain the comment about NBE and sexuality, I meant to say that my sexual desires have not changed. Nor have the intensity levels. They have, however, become more refined and natural-feeling to me. Many years ago, I tried the old 5-fingered Mary game a couple times. That was while crossdressed, and the guilt experienced after completion ended that after a couple episodes. NOT what I wanted, as the crossdressing was only a stop-gap for the fact that I could not be as feminine body-wise as I wished to be, and it totally defeated that purpose of dressing. So, when I said NBE hadn't changed that, I meant to say that crossdressing and being transgendered had never been about any sexual gratification to me, it was more of an attempt at expressing who I really thought I was. And that NBE, (and pharmas for that matter), had not changed that in the least. If anything, it (and the subsequent body changes) has made things clearer, and more in line with the leanings I have always had. Like you, I will always prefer women as sexual partners. (I should delete "women, and substitute "woman"), But, I will admit to having more than a passing interest in having a go with the male side of the species. NBE has had nothing to do with that, it was always there. Having developed some femininity body-wise simply makes that desire more appropriate. For some strange reason, sex with a male while crossdressed had no appeal to me, whereas now, it seems moreso. (Uh-huh, Patti has been a tease, and only a lack of time on one particular occasion has kept her from solving that curiosity). OK, waaaay too much info. Sorry, but there's an explanation in there somewhere.

I intended to say that my male and female sides are present and operating at all times, no matter what I'm doing. For example, I'm a trained draftsman, but have dabbled in the design of female clothing. (Had some of them made while I was in Korea.) When we made the design of, and built our room to replace our deck this past summer, I was making the design both from an engineering standpoint, (traditionally the male role), and an eye appeal and style standpoint, (usually more the female role). (Throw in my wife's input, and we were being multi-cultural as well). This goes on all the time, and is of no conflict whatsoever. Maybe I'm just used to it after so long. It's actually quite welcome. It's just one example.

Glad you liked the avatar! Thanks! It was about 6 months old. Hopefully the BO will let me fill out the slacks better, and I'll be able to bring it back looking like it should. Take care. Patti    
Please excuse the pic, I don't always use make-up for photos like I should.

[julieTG]

Now this where I differ

Many of you desire women but on a low key level

Myself have always been fiercely loyal and never cheated on one of my ladies but I must be a complete tart , as on my on the road salesman days we are talking over 80 ladies

Julie

[spanky]

For me, my gender identity was not really a question for most of my life. In the last 6 - 7 years things began to change. It's as though a door opened up or I gave myself permission to consider the possibilities. Once that happened, I realized that I was/am somewhere in between genders, or perhaps more to the point, that I wanted to be somewhere between genders. For a couple of years, it was only the thrill of wearing women's clothes, beginning with under garments, then tops, then pants, then the rest. Hair removal (with disappointing results) soon followed. The possibility of physical changes through NBE only occurred to me later, and really sprang from discovering this web page.

It has not stopped me from doing anything, to try to answer Flame's question, but it has complicated a few things like seeing doctors, and naturally involves concern about family and friends' reactions, etc. I remain sexually interested in women and not men, although I want my wife to relate to me more in my in-between state. [/align]

[sfem]

I trully beleive that people like us on this forum , we always had a feminine side maynot be strong or suppresed due to enviroment / social situation . UNTIL you bump into situation and decide to take the fork in the road , letting your femenity to be expressed . Many of us live under cover and hide feminine attributes .
Would it not be liberating if you could wear what you like including female clothings / lingerie without raising ridicule / disgust / finger pointing / derogatory remarks etc .

For me, the more interesting question is if it weren't taboo, would you still want to do it?

[flamesabers]

Sarah and Patti,

As far as acting on sexual attraction and preferences with women, I still would want to keep it low keyed, no more than one or two times a month. I would definitely be open to cuddling every night though! In other words, it's more about wanting to have a women be my life partner rather than a man.

In a different thread, I mentioned my interest with seeking a boston-marriage type of relationship with a female, rather than the more common hetrosexual variety.

[PattiJT]

Flame,
You'll get little argument from me about any of that. There is sooo much to be said for cuddling and snuggling! But, why limit it to the nighttime? I've been living an unintentional experiment for the last 3 years+, where sex has evaporated to nil. My wife decided it wasn't a had-to-have, and surprisingly, (to me, at least), so did I. As a result, more ways to show affection have manifested themselves, and in some cases, (such as snuggling and cuddling), are far more meaningful, expressive, and longer-lasting than any sex act. Wherever we are, lots of folks give a second look when they see us walking along talking and holding hands. The fact that so many of them find this a little unusual says something about the state of human affairs. Many people talk "at" each other, instead of talking "to" each other. There seems to be a process here. Talking leads to sharing, sharing leads to learning, learning leads to understanding, and understanding lets one lose the selfishness we all have to some degree. With selfishness eliminated, we become able to truly "share life" with our partner. And, with that, comes real contentment and happiness. My wife rises earlier than I do, but when I get up, the first thing I do is track her down and get a hug and a kiss for a minute or two, ask her how she feels, and tell her I love her. I wouldn't have done that so easily a few years ago.

So, I do understand where you're coming from, and what you're looking for. I assure you, "your kind of person" is out there, and you will find her. Probably unexpectedly. And, you're well "ahead of the curve" by knowing just what you're looking for when she does appear. Patti

[flamesabers]

Flame,
You'll get little argument from me about any of that. There is sooo much to be said for cuddling and snuggling! But, why limit it to the nighttime?

I work during the day, so the cuddling would probably be limited to the night. I guess I could always try for the morning?

So, I do understand where you're coming from, and what you're looking for. I assure you, "your kind of person" is out there, and you will find her. Probably unexpectedly. And, you're well "ahead of the curve" by knowing just what you're looking for when she does appear. Patti

Thank you, I find that to be quite reassuring.

Hopefully, I'll find her sooner than later.

[Jessica Leigh]

Flame,

Always a difficult topic to address. I see a professional to help me work through my GID issues. But I find this forum a great place for opening up discussions with folks like me. I've always been attracted to women, never a passing thought about being with a man - And if tomorrow through some Christmas miracle I woke up as a woman I would be want to bed with another woman. Would that be a Boston marriage?

I've also made my life more complicated by getting married and having two children. My wife is understanding to a point - nearly hairless body, but mostly I have to hide my femme side from her.

If I could I would go even further to make myself more feminine.