[Lisa Lou]

Hey Sis,
Sometimes with our friends, lovers, SOs, and family members we adopt an "agree to disagree" position on certain things. Those things are recognized as not being of a magnitude to destroy the relationship or cause you to part ways, but still remain as a point of disagreement. Depending on where you and your wife are on this, you may both recognize it as something that you recognize that you have different positions, respect but don't agree with those different positions, and move on with your lives. However, the agree to disagree element has to be discussed, mutually agreed upon, boundaries set, etc. It just can't be the (pink) elephant in the room that no one discusses or recognizes.

I hate to say this sis, but I think you know that for your own piece of mind it cannot be avoided. Conflict avoidance only tends to breed resentment, distrust, misunderstanding, etc., etc. When I counseled couples in my 'man of the cloth' days I always encouraged them to discuss and reach terms on things they disagreed on and knew they would never reach a point of agreement. Your wife sounds like a classic conflict avoider, and you, my dear are clearly a communicator who cannot keep an issue in. Trust me, honey, it has been on her mind as much as yours, she has probably confided in someone close to her, and it will come out... and if you both allow it to fester, when it comes out from her, it ain't going to be pretty.

So, my dear, for your own sanity (and hers), it has to be addressed, sooner rather than later. I'm here for ya as are all of your sisters. I have a couple of discussion techniques I can recommend, PM me if you want to discuss.

You continue to be in my thoughts.

Not that we would want to, but for better or for worse, where many of us are right now, 'you can't put the genie back in the bottle...'

Hugs and good thoughts,
Lisa