[AnnieBL]

Hey Sis,
Sometimes with our friends, lovers, SOs, and family members we adopt an "agree to disagree" position on certain things. Those things are recognized as not being of a magnitude to destroy the relationship or cause you to part ways, but still remain as a point of disagreement. Depending on where you and your wife are on this, you may both recognize it as something that you recognize that you have different positions, respect but don't agree with those different positions, and move on with your lives. However, the agree to disagree element has to be discussed, mutually agreed upon, boundaries set, etc. It just can't be the (pink) elephant in the room that no one discusses or recognizes.

Thank you so much, Lisa. I also found your post both illuminating and immensely helpful.

When I think about it, the essence of marriage is a union between two very different persons, and a successful marriage is full of accommodations relating to many different issues, some arrived at only painfully, but most such issues are not as big as an elephant, let alone a pink elephant. I'm hoping that my wife and myself can complete an arrangement to accommodate the elephant but we still may have a way to go. Your warning not to allow things to fester is well taken.

On a lighter note, and by a strange coincidence, the Landrover in which I drove to Pakistan so many years ago had had what appeared to be pink elephants blazoned on its front doors, though these had been more or less painted out by the time I bought it. It had previously been driven to Burma on an expedition Second Overland, by two members of the first expedition (First Overland) to drive overland from England to Singapore, in search of a rumoured white elephant, which in the event turned out in fact to be a real live PINK ELEPHANT.

Hugs again from Annie for you and Sammie.