[myboobs]

I saw my endo last week to discuss the results from my latest bloodwork. I love going there since they always treat me as a woman and call me Sammie. My endo isthe sweetest man and I do love him so, but he scolded me this time.
Previously my E had been at around 100 and my T at 2.5 total and virtually zero free. I had been on 6mgs daily of E plus 500 mgs progesterone and still including 1500 to 2000 mgs of pm.
In the last month, wanting to raise E, I had gone up to 7 or 8 mgs daily of E, and figuring the Pm was occupying receptors better used by E, I had dropped back to 1000 to 1500 mgs of PM., and lately to just 1000 and somedays none at all.
Apparently this had an affect, since my E went sky high to over 500, while my T (previously held in check by PM, in my opinion) has begun to rise again and now sitsat a still low 14.
I was scolded for overdoing E and incurring high risk of bloodclotting.
So...
As of last week I am now, for the first time in four years, totally free of PM. To establish a baseline we have agreed on a strict routine of 4mgs E, plus progesterone and nothing else for the next three weeks. We will check results again then. I expect E to drop to a safer level but also expect T to rise more.
If T begins to rise too high he will add spiro to my regime.
So thats all.
Otherwise, life is good. I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am on the right course, and am now looking into electrolysis. My bodily hair is so slight as to be of no concern, and though facial hair is thin and grows slowly, I am weary of shaving and look forward to the improved skin appearance that follows removing follicles.
Friends, I am finally free of all doubt. My aim is full transition but without any exact timetable yet. It brings me fear still, but great joy.
On another matter...
After wrestling with different doubts for many months, I have concluded I am no longer "straight" in the conventional use of that term. I am either gay or, more accurately, I am a heterosexual woman.
I have no idea yet what this means for my marriage. My wife and I live like platonic gfs. But I am doubtful this will last, as it is not fair to either of us, nor are either of us fullfilled.
The future holds many unknowns for me. I admit to apprehension, but I have learned this year that our greatest fears prove paper tigers when we find the courage to confront them. I have also learned something about courage. Having spent much of my life in cowardice and fear, I have learned that courage is not the absence of fear but merely the willingness to ignore it.
Wish me luck.
Beyond here there be monsters...
Lol

Love you all

Hugs

Wishing you luck on your journey . You are showing courage that many lack for various reasons . We here follow your journey with great interest . I am sure we will see a beautiful and gregarious true Sammie to bloom