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When did you first realize you wanted breasts?

#1

I think the answer to the thread question provides a clue as how much cross gender identity one possesses, and whether engaging in NBE is likely to be something worthwhile and beneficial in the long term.

I grew up with four sisters, so breasts and bras were a common sight in our house. I remember putting a bra on as a young boy, but I don't recall actually wishing I had breasts. I had only a vague notion of what a breast was until I reached puberty.

When puberty arrived, I recall locking myself in the bathroom with the Sears & Roebuck catalog and going directly to the women's underwear pages to look at the pictures. I also liked to peruse the pages of Seventeen magazine at the city library looking at the intoxicating images of girls and how they adorned their curvy bodies. I still had no conscious wish to have breasts during my adolescent years, although a friend and I experimented with putting oranges in a bra to see how having breasts might look and feel. Not very well, we concluded.

It wasn't until after I was married, in my twenties that I discovered a book at the local bookstore about a man who grew breasts. Just the idea of that possibility sent a rush of excitement racing through my body. I was shocked by my reaction. I wanted to open the book, but was too self-conscious with other people around, so I walked away. For days, I couldn't get the book out of my mind. Finally, while again visiting the bookstore, I worked up the courage to open the book and read some of the material. It recounted the story of a man who had inadvertently come into contact with his wife's estrogen medicine, and over time, developed breasts. From that day on, I concocted fantasies about growing breasts myself. The urge to pursue it in reality was never seriously considered until last year when I experienced a relapse into crossdressing, and eventually found my way here.

Now that I have the beginnings of my own real breasts, I wake up in the morning, touch them, and know that my longstanding dream has finally come true, and I am so glad.

Clara Smile
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#2

49 years ago....
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#3

About 10 years ago.... after taking care of my health isles.... all this just came flooding back with a vengeance....
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#4

I also grew up with a younger sister. I was trying on her panties when a teenager, and trying on my mom's bras. I too went through my mother's Victoria Secret catalog (and Sears) going through the lingerie section. While I wished I could wear underwear like the models in the catalog I also fixated on the hairlessness of their underarms and bikini lines - and how I wish I could be hairless like them.

But I didn't know I wanted breast or more to the point a feeling like I was missing a part of myself until my early twenties. I distinctly remember riding my bike around campus in the spring and watching my coeds with envy. That's when I started wishing I had my own. Ever since I've struggled with my TG identity. And it's only now that I'm getting a handle on it. With a wife and two young children its more complicated now.

To sumerize. I was 20 years old.
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#5

(27-02-2014, 06:03 PM)ClaraKay Wrote:  I think the answer to the thread question provides a clue as how much cross gender identity one possesses,


Hard to say. Mine started growing, quite naturally, at puberty.

I'd never have given it a second thought if I hadn't been razzed for it at school. In other words, if it weren't an abnormal thing for a boy, I'd have been perfectly happy about it. Mammary extravagance is common with the women of my family, so I'd possibly have taken it in stride. But who knows? It's kind of silly to think a prepubescent boy could reason anything through with a 30-year-old mind.

But I ended up with a lot of years of hating them and trying to hide them. The locker room was easy enough to manage, but you can't wear a jacket year-round in SoCal. If I had been offered breast reduction at 16, I'd have given it serious consideration, at least. (Parents of boys with gynecomastia, pay heed to this story...)

Adulthood, especially after growing thick skin, is a different story. I went through a new phase of not caring what anyone thought... and lo and behold, hardly anyone ever noticed a thing, outside of the occasional pool or hot tub party.

All the time, of course, crossdressing is a part of my life, going back as far as I can remember. This becomes a major source of mindfuck (sorry, best word I can think of to convey the feeling) in teenage years, as my family belonged to a very moralistic church in which anything outside the norm was criticized, exorcised, and gossiped about. We'd hear gossip like "did you hear so-and-so is gay? He's been kicked out, tsk tsk biddy biddy cackle." Fortunately, my family left the church over a different issue, and I quickly recovered my spiritual senses once I got to spend my Sundays fishing instead of hymn-singing.

(Parents, pay heed to this as well... the churching of your children, if they don't quite fit the group mold, is seriously damaging. I cannot begin to tell you how much. If you must church your kids, go to a nice liberal church like the Unitarians or something.)

Anyway... back forward again. In the past several years, I went from the not-caring phase, to actively liking the idea of having a nice rack. This roughly coincides with first going public en femme. Then it quickly progressed to taking measures to grow them.

My boobs have responded very well to the herbal boost, and if I were any happier I'd be twins. Now in my 30s, I could not imagine not having them. I get to show them off instead of hiding them, and it makes a world of difference.

Thus, back to the admonition to parents -- don't rush to "cure" the gynecomastia. It's a short-term fix to a minor problem: Little Johnny is being made fun of. Some teasing or even outright bullying is not a good reason to make a permanent body change that one day he might grow to regret. Trust me, the kid will get through it. He'll learn to shrug things off, stand up for himself, and make his own path. This is, I firmly believe, better than letting a kid grow up thinking there's a pill or an operation to solve every problem that comes along in life.

So, to answer the question succinctly: age 10, and age 30. Blush


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#6

Ever Since I was little, couldn't tell you how young I was though.
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#7

Hmm - I am not sure I ever 'wanted breasts' as such.

My journey into this has been more of a developing mindset alongside the developing body - I never woke up one day and said to myself 'I want breasts' - as with most of the things which have occurred during the last 57 years, this has just been a gradual shift in self perception.

The difficult bit has been that this breast thing has occurred relatively quickly - 18 months ago, none of this was on the radar at all!!!!!

M x
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#8

Very interesting perspective, Missy. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Clara Smile
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#9

I don't remember if I was 5 or 8. I KNOW it was one of the two, I just don't recall which. That's the earliest time I recall wishing I had tits, but I'm pretty sure I had that wish for a good while before that.
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#10

I became interested as soon as I realized that growing breasts was a practical possibility, more interested as my T levels started to drop, and very interested when I discovered that it might be possible without prescription drugs, although perversely my initial attempts were unsuccessful, and it was the effect of prescription drugs (not hormones though) that finally got me out of the starting gate. Now I rely on PM.

As early as 8 years old I wished I didn't have a penis, but at puberty that got swamped by a flood of T!
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