[EvaMarie]

Well Its official now, Im out and there is no undoing that now.... It feels good and they took it surprisingly well so far

My Mom even calls me Eve right off the bat and after some discussion she even said she might like another daughter besides the original (my sister) who is pretty much just a real bitch...

I have to thank my friend and EX GF who always got along great with my mom for calling her right away to answer questions for me... Im still not comfortable even talking to them on the phone....

Heres what I wrote...

Hey Mom and Dad what Im about to tell you might blow your mind....

Ive always wished Id been born a woman, always for as long as I can
remember.... Sure I had plenty of manly moments but the real me always
lurked in the back round....

Ive decided its time to start living as one full time, I pretty much have been most of the time for six months now.... Ive had a LONG time (more than 44 1/2 years now) to think about it....

I was never really comfortable or content as a man, always knew something
wasnt right, never felt genuine or adequate and I carried around a lot
of shame and guilt about this for way too long.... It is incredibly
liberating to finally accept my true self and even learn to truly love
myself for once in my life....

Since I last saw you Ive lost a bunch of weight, Im down to 164 as of right now, I think 150 is easily doable....

I quit drinking myself to death and started eating much better, I feel
better than I EVER have.... Ive been on some very potent estrogenic
herbs for a couple months that did a good job to start with feminizing
me... I recently started seeing a doctor though and Ive been on female
hormones and testosterone blockers for the last three weeks now.... My
health all checked out 100% perfect before starting HRT and I feel even
better after starting... Ive also started laser and electrolysis on my
beard and its worked great so far in permanently removing it....

The changes Ive seen in such a short time would be impossible to hide now
and even harder as time goes on.... So as hard as this is I have to tell
you the truth...

My girlfriend and my new friends out here have
known from the start and any new friends obviously will from here on
out... My ex Nancy knows all about it and accepts me as me.... This was solely my decision though, something thats been with me
my whole life and pushed back against many times.... "She" always came
back stronger every time though...

I realize this will come as a
shock and take a while to sink in... (Or maybe not so much I dont
really know) You need to understand I was miserable as my old self and I
simply cant and wont live that way anymore.... Im quite sane and
healthy so dont worry about that please...

Im still pretty much
the same as I always was in some ways but obviously very different in
others... Im just a whole lot happier living as my true self though....
This is a big part of the reason Ive never married or had kids... That
used to really bother me but now I consider it a blessing in many
ways...

I intend to let the hormones do their work for a few
years and then decide on possibly going all they way with surgery but
thats not a concern right now.... I am off to a VERY good start
though....

I have been thinking long and hard about my new name
that intend to have made a legal change and Ive decided on Eva Marie
XXXX.... Or Eve.... Eva Marie is a very traditional Swedish name and
Eve rimes with the name Im so used to hearing... The initials are EMO LOL
and that might be QUITE accurate for a while.... This is not the easiest
thing to do but I am determined to see it through and I know I can.....
It takes a STRONG person to be true to themselves and take the steps Im
taking....

That said this is still very hard for me to write to
you and if you think Im a freak or whatever thats your right and I
understand... But I will live MY life as I see fit.... Anyone that cant
accept me as me aint worth my time....

It would actually be far
easier for me if you all just excommunicate me and write me off as a
weirdo freak never to be seen again....

Accept it or not though I
still think I will need a LOT of time before Im able to even talk to
you on the phone much less in person... I can answer any questions you
might have through email for now... Please dont bother trying to call me
or contact me any other way... I will not be taking calls for a LONG
time and I will change my number if anyone tries.... You can tell the
rest of the family and anyone else if you want... If your not
comfortable with that let me know and send email contact info, (all I
have is Dans and he will be getting a letter too)... Again this is just
as hard for me as it will be for you to accept and I really will need
some time before Im comfortable talking to any of you.... I just cant
live a lie anymore and I cant lie to you anymore either....

Please
do not worry about me, I will be just fine in every way... I have no
drama except for what I just started with this letter of course... In
fact I think I will do quite well for myself living and yes eventually
even working in the world as a woman...

Eve....

[Missed Miss]

A good bit of it is pretty nice!! I'm glad they took it beneficently!! It'd be sad to lose your family over it.

The thought occurred to me, maybe others here would like to copy your letter for themselves, maybe personalize it, or at least remove the parts about Eve/Steve, leave it on the table, or someplace, where their parents will find it and think it was written and left by them and use it to help break the ice with THEIR parents!! IF they're rejected by their parents and want to take it back, at least for now, they can simply say it was something they got online, printed out to read it themselves, or to show to a friend, but forgot and left it on the table.

About 25 years ago, dad was VERY heavily on my case and even kicked me out for a short time!! The very weekend he kicked me out, XTC put out a new album, "Oranges And Lemons". On it was a song called, "Hold Me, My Daddy". Shortly after I bought the album, I copied the lyrics to that song in my own hand and left them on the kitchen table after he went to bed. I didn't claim that I wrote it, but I also didn't claim that Andy Partridge wrote it!! In the morning, they were posted on the fridge and he'd stopped being such a raging tyrant towards me!! :-)

Maybe someone here wanting to come out can benefit from making a copy of YOUR letter and doing the same.

[JosephineDreams]

Congratulations Eve, I'm glad it worked out well with your parents.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life!

[EvaMarie]

Thanks Missed and abxicx I did edit it a bit, was so happy and EMO I wasnt thinking right....

Yes Its very good to be free to be myself now without shame or guilt or lies

[Missed Miss]

One of the cool things I forgot to mention about someone using your letter as their own, even if they decided to say it WASN'T theirs after it was read was that at LEAST they've let SOME of the cat out of the bag!! With even that tiny bit of it out, it'll be SOME relief and the rest might NOT be so hard to let completely out!! At ANY rate, you've at LEAST broken the ice on the subject!
Also, they could use it as a test! Leave it out for the intended reader to see it and then the "writer" could see just how their decision to transition would be taken! If favourable, then they can just come completely out with no problem!! If it DOES stir a bit of shit, then the "writer" can either stand strong and own up to it, or, claim it wasn't them then wait until such a time they feel they CAN own up to it!

[GoneGirl]

Eva, dear, I'm very happy for you. Wow! I know how difficult it must have been to take this critical step in your transition. Congratulations. I hope everything progresses smoothly for you now that you've opened up to all the people that are still important to you.

Clara

[Scotti]

Congratulations! It's certainly has to be relieving to know that that part of your life is over and you can move forward towards happiness with your new life.

[EvaMarie]

Thanks yes the day after now and the smoke has cleared, life goes on...

Everything is pretty much the same.... But oh no its not.... Oh thats right Im out, I cant believe I did that

I guess that means me and my girlfriend can go get my ears pierced now and I dont have to worry about it at all

Yes I have to write them more and ask them how they are doing and if they have any more questions....

Also have to start on a letter to my brother that will be very hard as well but now that I took the first step it will be a bit easier....

[Samantha Rogers]

Eva....I am so happy for you, honey! I am still in shock at the bravery you have shown, and just amazed by your letter and the reaction and everything.....baby, I am so pleased for you. I started crying when I read this...still having a little trouble with that...tee hee
All the best to you, sister!
Hugs

[❇ Abby ❇]

Congratulations Eva.
Your incredibly brave and I'm so pleased it's worked out for you.
It's a very emotionally moving and heart touching email.
Thank you for letting us read it.

Denita