(30-05-2014, 10:44 PM)Jordyn Michelle Wrote:
(30-05-2014, 12:52 PM)ClaraKay Wrote: Patience, honey. Your body can only use so much estrogen, and will do its best to get rid of the excess. I would back off a bit on the dosages.
Glad to hear you are experiencing some development. You should see the first signs of growth in the nipples.
Any suggestions on what dosages I should come down to on all of them that I'm taking or any I should cut completely? Aside from the firmness my wife noticed I also have noticed changes to my nipples themselves being a bit more "perky".
Jordyn, your marriage is in danger of dissolving presumably because you are a crossdresser with a possible cross gender identity. It's important to establish whether that is, in fact, true or not, and to what extent. I don't think you should be focused on NBE breast growth at this point. This desire may have another explanation. It may be associated with your, as yet, high T level which is putting everything into a sexual context.
A year ago when I lapsed into another round of crossdressing along with severe anxiety, shame and guilt about my sexual compulsions, I took the step to try to understand myself. I discovered that I likely had a subconscious, suppressed female gender identity and should seek professional help. In researching my condition, I learned that taking estrogen can confirm or refute a cross gender diagnosis. I ended up here at BreastNexus not to grow breasts, although the idea intrigued me, but to seek understanding of, and relief from, my anguish. Am I transgender? Can my dysphoria be alleviated?
That should be your focus at this time. Breast growth is one of many feminization measures that you may want to undertake when, and if, you determine you are transgender and need to transition to full or part-time life as a woman. It's important that you get this right, Jordyn. You may be able to save your marriage if it's not too late already.
The compulsion to crossdress and feminize may be simply a sexual fetish driven by your body's production of testosterone. When your T is reduced by taking estrogen (e.g., PM), you may find that your dysphoria is relieved, or, on the contrary, that it becomes worse. In either case, it will indicate whether you are transgender or not and determine in which direction to move.
So my advice is to see a trained gender therapist who can help separate the truth from the fantasy of your situation. If you are not willing to do that, drop everything in your program except the PM. Ramp up to 2000 to 3000 mg of PM to flood your body with estrogen and drive down your body's T level. Monitor your mental state over the next several weeks. If you consistently feel happier, calmer, more patient, and more empathetic, it probably means that you are gender variant with a strong female gender identity. If the opposite happens, it most likely indicates that you have a normal male gender id. Your crossdressing urges have a different root cause. At that point you can decide a course of action that is right for you with or without the support of your wife.
Jordyn, you are very young at 27 years. You need to work this out rationally and deliberately. Your desire for female breasts is a symptom of a condition that needs to be sorted out sooner rather than later. First, determine the underlying reasons for your behavior and feelings, then take positive steps to address them in the long run.
That's my advice. Take it or leave it. I wish you all the good fortune you can find moving forward.
Hugs to you, honey,