19-07-2014, 02:29 AM
I found this at TransGenderCare.com and found it good description of the M/F transgender with a twist concerning sexual orientation:
Physically Male/Subjective Female Individual (M/F)
Because a child's greatest desire is to be normal (like everybody else), the great majority of M/F individuals create an artificial self which meets this goal. They are often so successful at this that they not only fool everyone else but themselves as well — at least part of the time, in some way.
Once created, M/F gender folk live in their male role — a 3-D personality with its own goals, likes and dislikes, values, hobbies, etc. Although indistinguishable from the "real thing," it isn't themselves. It is an artificial creation for them to be able to fit in. This is achieved at the expense of denying, locking away, their natural female subjective gender. Their desire to be "normal" has denied them their natural selves. But, as the nagging reality of the deception becomes harder and harder to suppress, one has to express their true subjective gender somehow, in some way.
For most, dressing is the obvious compromise. If one cannot be female, one can at least express femininity. But the more one expresses one's true self, the desire for more becomes greater. Some individuals continue expressing themselves more and more, others panic and purge only to start again later.
One's gender identity classification (crossdresser, transgenderist, transsexual, etc.) is due to each individual's adjustment to first the conflict between one's subjective gender (Self-map) and their need to be "normal," and later to the conflict between one's subjective gender and their "male persona." There is no objective "best solution," only a subjective, personal best solution.
After years or decades of living, working and building within their male persona, it is often too "expensive" to give up the life, perks, family, etc., one has built up—in order to go back to basics and have an emotionally 12 year old girl grow up—and live in a once male 40+ year old body.
However far one is able to go toward dismantling the male persona and allowing their female subjective gender to develop, one generally seems to have the following three levels of transition:
1. Recognition that one's Self Map (subjective gender) is different from one's Physical Gender —This can take the form of seeing one's self as a "woman trapped in a man's body," a need to express one's "feminine side," etc. This stage is mainly concerned with physical/surface changes such as crossdressing, passing, makeup, wigs, etc. In this first part, many gender folk don't even venture from their own home and often have a juvenile (before age 15) and later, an adult phase. The so called "Primary Transsexual" is an individual who never constructs a male persona and therefore never accepts their male genitals or challenges their female Self Map/subjective gender.
2. Accepting one's Self-Map (Subjective Gender)—This stage is more varied than the first and consists of changing one's life to fit one's Self-Map. These changes may only involve bringing one's significant other and loved one's into their dressing behavior and expanding their activities ("crossdressers") or continuing to express their Self Map and dismantle their male persona by starting hormones, electrolysis and public dressing. One develops towards a "comfort level" with one's subjective gender and its conflict with their male persona.
3. Becoming one's True Self — This is the last but unfortunately least experienced part of transitioning. This is the stage when that little child trapped inside an artificial persona in order to fit in breaks free, grows up and has their own life — often with markedly different values, temperament and interests.
It has been my observation that the female subjective self needs little help in growing up and developing if the overpowering weight of the male persona is removed from it. The M/F individual has spent years, decades developing, reinforcing and living in their male role. Dismantling the male persona takes a great deal of time, effort and outside help. In those individuals identified as "transsexual," their subjective sense of happiness and success is directly parallel with the degree they have dismantled their male identity, not on their age, physical size, hormones, surgery, etc.
Another interesting aspect of a female subjective gender with a male physical gender is the concept of Sexual Orientation. To classify a M/F individual as either homosexual or heterosexual would be equally false. If one views their gender as that established by their subjective gender, then having sex with a physical/ subjective female would make them homosexual (lesbian). But, if one viewed their actions from their physical gender, they would be committing a heterosexual act. In other words, no matter which gender they have sexual relations with, they are simultaneously committing both a homosexual and heterosexual act.
I believe this example illustrates the need for us to see our gender as a matrix of male/ female expression and not as an either/or classification based on the appearance of our physical genitalia.
Seems to address some concerns that wives have about being forced into a lesbian relationship with their TG husbands. It all depends on your point of view.
Comments?
Clara
Physically Male/Subjective Female Individual (M/F)
Because a child's greatest desire is to be normal (like everybody else), the great majority of M/F individuals create an artificial self which meets this goal. They are often so successful at this that they not only fool everyone else but themselves as well — at least part of the time, in some way.
Once created, M/F gender folk live in their male role — a 3-D personality with its own goals, likes and dislikes, values, hobbies, etc. Although indistinguishable from the "real thing," it isn't themselves. It is an artificial creation for them to be able to fit in. This is achieved at the expense of denying, locking away, their natural female subjective gender. Their desire to be "normal" has denied them their natural selves. But, as the nagging reality of the deception becomes harder and harder to suppress, one has to express their true subjective gender somehow, in some way.
For most, dressing is the obvious compromise. If one cannot be female, one can at least express femininity. But the more one expresses one's true self, the desire for more becomes greater. Some individuals continue expressing themselves more and more, others panic and purge only to start again later.
One's gender identity classification (crossdresser, transgenderist, transsexual, etc.) is due to each individual's adjustment to first the conflict between one's subjective gender (Self-map) and their need to be "normal," and later to the conflict between one's subjective gender and their "male persona." There is no objective "best solution," only a subjective, personal best solution.
After years or decades of living, working and building within their male persona, it is often too "expensive" to give up the life, perks, family, etc., one has built up—in order to go back to basics and have an emotionally 12 year old girl grow up—and live in a once male 40+ year old body.
However far one is able to go toward dismantling the male persona and allowing their female subjective gender to develop, one generally seems to have the following three levels of transition:
1. Recognition that one's Self Map (subjective gender) is different from one's Physical Gender —This can take the form of seeing one's self as a "woman trapped in a man's body," a need to express one's "feminine side," etc. This stage is mainly concerned with physical/surface changes such as crossdressing, passing, makeup, wigs, etc. In this first part, many gender folk don't even venture from their own home and often have a juvenile (before age 15) and later, an adult phase. The so called "Primary Transsexual" is an individual who never constructs a male persona and therefore never accepts their male genitals or challenges their female Self Map/subjective gender.
2. Accepting one's Self-Map (Subjective Gender)—This stage is more varied than the first and consists of changing one's life to fit one's Self-Map. These changes may only involve bringing one's significant other and loved one's into their dressing behavior and expanding their activities ("crossdressers") or continuing to express their Self Map and dismantle their male persona by starting hormones, electrolysis and public dressing. One develops towards a "comfort level" with one's subjective gender and its conflict with their male persona.
3. Becoming one's True Self — This is the last but unfortunately least experienced part of transitioning. This is the stage when that little child trapped inside an artificial persona in order to fit in breaks free, grows up and has their own life — often with markedly different values, temperament and interests.
It has been my observation that the female subjective self needs little help in growing up and developing if the overpowering weight of the male persona is removed from it. The M/F individual has spent years, decades developing, reinforcing and living in their male role. Dismantling the male persona takes a great deal of time, effort and outside help. In those individuals identified as "transsexual," their subjective sense of happiness and success is directly parallel with the degree they have dismantled their male identity, not on their age, physical size, hormones, surgery, etc.
Another interesting aspect of a female subjective gender with a male physical gender is the concept of Sexual Orientation. To classify a M/F individual as either homosexual or heterosexual would be equally false. If one views their gender as that established by their subjective gender, then having sex with a physical/ subjective female would make them homosexual (lesbian). But, if one viewed their actions from their physical gender, they would be committing a heterosexual act. In other words, no matter which gender they have sexual relations with, they are simultaneously committing both a homosexual and heterosexual act.
I believe this example illustrates the need for us to see our gender as a matrix of male/ female expression and not as an either/or classification based on the appearance of our physical genitalia.
Seems to address some concerns that wives have about being forced into a lesbian relationship with their TG husbands. It all depends on your point of view.
Comments?
Clara
