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I think we lost a sister... my heart is broken

#1

I think we lost one of our own a few weeks ago. By one of our own, I mean someone who suffered in silence with transgenderism (I can't be sure ...maybe homosexuality???). Sadly though, if my suspicions are correct, he probably never told anyone or if he did, the secret will be well kept from now on. I never knew or met him, his wife or children personally that I remember but even if I had, I doubt I would have suspected anything because, like many of us, he did a good job of being who everyone expected HIM to be. I went to his funeral for the sake of my friend and both my wife and I picked up on several nuances about his life and habits that sounded strangely familiar to mine and perhaps the stereotypical transgender. He liked 2 hour bubble baths with candles, he had both ears pierced (maybe not too uncommon for 36 yr old), he was very sensitive, loved deeply, hugged everyone, was, "like a sister" to his younger sister, had an lesser quality relationship with his older brother and died alone, depressed and seemingly intoxicated at his own hands. It's been chalked up to depression and I don't doubt that but I can't help but wonder if the depression was caused by a deep secret that he couldn't bear anymore. Whether this person was or wasn't transgendered, my heart breaks for all those in our fellowship who suffer (and all to frequently take their own lives) because revealing their true feelings would be too costly or worse yet, they think they are alone in this world and screwed up. I hope I'm wrong about my friends brother but nevertheless, there are a lot of hurting people because of this loss and the loss of so many transgender individuals throughout our greater community.
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#2

Kari, this breaks my heart, too. I et you are correct. TGs are like an iceberg, and for every one out there walking around and somewhat happy there are probably hundreds closeted and afraid, maybe thousands. I guess there is no way of really knowing how many suffer silently with deep seated guilt, depression and loneliness as their only companions, all because of a stupid and heartlessly mean societal attitude toward people like us.
God, this makes me sad.
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#3

My condolences to you Kari and his family. [Image: smiley-signs085.gif]

It's very unfortunate I think to be trapped between suffering in silence and being deathly afraid of being outed to one's social circle. [Image: smiley-sad038.gif]
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#4

Condolences to you and his family :'( Hopefully he's now in a happier place where he can be his true self Smile
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#5

Sad News, you have my condolences kari.

i've literally lost count how many I have known (online mostly) over the years that have either ended themselves or been killed for being TG.
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#6

To lose someone for any reason is sad news.

You and your family have my sympathy.


Denita
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#7

Sad, so very sad .. Society needs to change, for too many this seems like the only option . My heart goes out to his family.
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