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Making changes

#1

So I am typing this on my phone...forgive me if there are spelling errors.
As we all know, the world generally takes a dim view in many cases of TG individuals, ranging from humiliating remarks and laughter to outright disgust and hatred. It has always been my belief that the best way to change the world is by changing the person next to you. There are lots of "girls" I know who will not venture out in the company of any other girl that is not 100% passable, for fear of being "made" by extension. Well, I don't know if I am passable or not, nor do I really care. Not that I go around in garish makeup or fetish gear. I make every effort I can to pass. But it has never bothered me to be with other girls who could not pass. If we are to change attitudes I think we must do so not by hiding better but by communicating the concept that we are not perverse, sex fiend freaks, but simply human beings with all the same rights, cares, pros and cons as anyone else, and nothing to be afraid of nor ridiculed nor made fun of. I think that the gay world made huge strides by coming out publicly. It is much harder to hate a group once someone close to you whom you love or like identifies as belonging to that group. So, whenever I am out, I try to be open, pleasant, friendly and willing to engage in conversation with anyone.
Well, today, a good friend of mine is going a step further. She is a career military officer in the Canadian Army, with some serious operation time under her belt. She is the kind that jumps out of airplanes and puts herself in harms way repeatedly, and has endured her share of black depression as a result. She is also a CD and one of the sweetest, bravest most intelligent and caring people I know, and I am super proud to call her a close friend.
Today she is going onto her base, fully dressed, and participating with full military approval, in a meeting to begin adjusting the policies of the Canadian Army toward dress standards not only for full on TS soldiers but also for those who are CD or somewhere in the middle.
The respect she earned in battle has placed her in this unique position of opportunity, to be able to address these issues in front of superior officers free from disrespect and disdain, and she has not shrunk from the task but embraced it. Her success will impact the lives of countless TG people serving in Canadian military branches. And what the Canadian military does may have impact on the US services. God, I am so proud of her. (And she is pretty, too! Lol)

But my thinking is this....obviously we cannot all have such an impact. But we can change the person next to us. There are so many TG people out there...hiding, closeted, unwilling to reveal, afraid...but if each of us, even in drab, began to seriously take issue, poltely of course, whenever any of us was subject to scorn or derision, I just think the world would change that much faster. It has already changed so much just in my lifetime. Heck...last weekend eight of us ventured into a public restaurant in Grand Rapids, several girls barely passable, and ate dinner and no one laughed or pointed and there was no animousity at all. Later we all trooped into a mainstream five floor singles bar and mingled and danced, again with nothing but acceptance. In both places as opportunities presented themselves, I made conversation with lots of "vanilla" people, and I am sure for some it may well have been the first time they ever spoke to a transwoman. It was awesome.

Day by day. You may not change the world, but you can change the person next to you.
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#2

Very inspirational,as I've found all your posts to be Samantha. You are a very talented writer as well. May I ask if you do that professionally ?
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#3

Thanks, Kristen! But, no, I am or rather was, an actor (an actress now, I guess...lol)
I have done a little writing for a company blog but nothing of consequence to anyone but net search bots...haha.
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#4

Well you should continue your career in acting, you are very pretty and belong on the big screen.
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#5

Aw, thanks, honey...tee hee...I like you...lol
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#6

Sammie,

Your friend is showing a special kind of courage in doing what she is doing today; a whole different kind of courage from military courage. Over my past few weeks of 'coming out' a number of people have commented on my courage but for me, Annie, it is not courage at all, I am getting my life back and rejoicing in it, my only anxiety being the severe lack of facilities for trans people in this province. Sometimes I almost wish that somebody would take issue with me so that I can do what you are advocating. The nearest I have got so far was meeting in the village library a fellow member of the board of the local historical society, who gave me a startled look and when I spoke to him turned on his heel and walked out. Since we have politely disliked each other for years, it was a victory of sorts for me that he was the one who lost his cool. As Annie I'm quite a bit more social and outgoing than my pseudo-male persona ever was (but I still won't dance!), and I am well and truly out in the village now. If people notice at all, they are interested and curious rather than hostile, so may be to that extent I am spreading the word.

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#7

Samantha,

The editorial page of a local newspaper posed this question

Quote:Is Transgender acceptance the next civil rights frontier?

Expectantly, the responses were mixed. In particular, I think a well-written portion of one of the responses is as follows:

Quote:If you happen to meet transgendered persons, please take time to know and understand them, and you'll find they're really no different than everyone else. We just want to blend in and be accepted.

What I take from this is people aren't afraid to speak out favorably in regards to the transgender community. If enough people take this person's advice to heart, I think we'll be well on our way to making a difference in the world.
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#8

Very inspirational. Samantha, I salute her courage and yours!

Another person of great worth to mention is the highly decorated former US Navy Seal Kristen Beck:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristin_Beck

In the US, EEOD now covers GID and orientation, Obama's ENDA executive order covers GID for all federal employees and contractors.

On federal health care plans I have heard the specific exclusions of GD/GID treatment have been removed. There is curiosity if explicit coverage might be added to some plans in 2015 open enrollment.

I expect that these solid and broad protections will allow allot of people the freedom to actually be open and visible where before it was much more of a risk to do so.

There are allot of **VERY** conservative places that might start to see their Trans .3% in an open, visible, honest, and NORMAL light.

After the initial shock wears off, and the world fails to end, I think there will be significant and irreversible change for the better. Think of the possibility of several million people who currently have no idea of the reality of our issues having mandatory annual training on it.

We can hope...


- Jaded Jade
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#9

Just a rather OT footnote to my previous post which might possibly be of interest to your friend. At the boys boarding school in Sussex, England, which tried so hard to inculcate me with proper masculine values, there was a de Chastelain who I think must have been the same General John de Chastelain who after emigrating rose to be Chief of Defense Staff in Canada. In a 1948 school photograph in which I was already tall enough to be placed in the back row with much older boys, I am standing next but one to him, but in line with my gift for getting things wrong (and having been told not to look directly into the camera), I am facing in a different direction from everyone else. In fact I believe that the recent demolition of that school may have been a symbolic factor in releasing me, Annie, from my male shell.

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#10

I would like to think that each of our interactions has a positive impact. I've been out for I guess more than four years now, and being more of a day than night person, most of my interactions are with neighbors, local merchants and chance encounters. One that really pushed the boundaries for me occurred about 9 months ago, when I was traveling cross country. I had an electrical problem with my SUV...a defect in the distributor, the forced me into a Chevy dealership just north of Muskogee OK.

From the moment I turned the keys over to the service manager, till they got me back on the road two hours later, I was treated with exceptional courtesy and warmth. I don't know whether I passed or not, but it didn't matter. The entire staff, male and female, was lovely.

My point...I don't know if I influenced them, but they certainly left me with a much more positive view of how people like me may be treated in rural America. So I guess perhaps it goes both ways.
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