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Hello :)

#1

(Accidentally posted this in the wrong section before but can't delete or move it :'( sorry)

Hi everyone,

I guess I'm Ellie Blush Name subject to change! Only chose it because I have the same hair as Eleanor Ripley and love the Aliens films ^_^ A bit of a girly name and to be quite honest I'm not sure which side of the gender fence I am on yet, if any.

I've had gender issues privately since puberty. I always imagined myself as a woman and if there was some magic pill I could take that would let me wake up tomorrow as female I would jump at the chance. But at the same time, I am quite comfortable as male at the moment as well. In an ideal world, I could be both, but the world isn't ideal and so now I'm 31 and fully male, and not a bad looking male to be honest. I'm 6ft 2in tall which is one thing that has put me off transitioning. Always thought I could never be passable being so tall, though I am only a medium build at least.

I've been going deeper down the gender rabbit hole in the last year especially. I had always been a fan of TG fiction, and had experience writing short horror stories, though last year I turned my pen to writing TG erotica. I write during most of my free time and I'm actually fairly well known in the genre now. Spending so much time with my mind in my stories has really developed this side of me.

Then a few weeks ago I was getting off the train and walking next to me was a stunning girl, my height, wearing all black, as I do. She was fascinating. That was probably the eureka moment for me beacuse shortly after I began seriously looking into the possiblity of transitioning.

Main problem now is I have an aversion to doctors. Haven't been to a doctor or hospital since I had some vaccinations done when I was 10. (I'm in the UK by the was so we have the NHS) When I came across PM I was skeptical but seeing some of the results on this forum has encouraged me to give it a try Smile I began SP and spearmint tea at the start of this week, and began PM yesterday.

Pretty sure I am low T to begin with. At 31 I have no signs of balding and practically no male body hair. My facial hair is also relatively sparse, and though I'm quite tall I do have a somewhat feminine fat distribution to begin with (I am 196lb though losing weight at the moment as well). The women in my family are fairly well endowed so I have that going for me as well ^_^

I also have an appointment for electrolysis to start removing at least some of my facial hair.

As I say, ideally I would like to be able to pass as both if I can, so I can pick and choose as I want, but we'll see where the journey takes me!

Thanks to everyone who has been sharing their progress. You're inspirational. I hope I will have something to share in future as well!
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#2

Hi Ellie!
Welcome to this crazy little family, girl. :-)

It sounds as though you have done the right thing and done some reading already. Good for you! There is a ton here to read and absorb. You will find a lot of support here, and a lot of great people. Make yourself at home and don't be afraid to ask questions.

It also sounds as though you know pretty clearly what you want. Good. I can relate to the height thing. I am also of a similar build. I am six two plus a little though I may have shrunk some recently. But like you, fear of being too tall to "pass" held me back for many years. Sigh...stupid really. It is amazing how so many of our greatest fears turn out to be nothing when once we confront them. I had a moment just like yours several months ago and ran into not one but two different GGs independently on the same day, both exactly my height without heels, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, there are GGs of our height. And besides, it does not matter. We are what we are and what the rest of the world thinks does not matter and should not be a barrier to our being all that we can be. It is your life, sister, and it will end all too soon. Make the most of it. I have learned to just not care... although it does irk me that finding shoes in my size is such a bother...lol
Still, you sound like you have a lot of advantages already and should do quite well.
PM is an superb way to get started without a doctor, just as you say, and many of us have done the same. Do not be surprised though if, like several of us, you find as you progress that you may eventually wish to go further with a doctors assistance. Herbs will do a lot, but in the end, if you do move toward complete transition, you may wish to switch to synthetic. But not to worry about that just now. Enjoy the ride. It can be a rocky path, but there is a lot of support here and elsewhere these days, and there is no reason to feel alone. You are not. You are family now, girl. Welcome.

Hugs

Sammie

PS - I wonder if I have read anything of yours? Though it has been years now, I used to read quite a lot of TG fiction online...lol
Now, I guess, I am creating my own version...haha
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#3

Welcome to the forum, put up your pumps and enjoy the ride.Wink
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#4

Thanks for the welcome ^_^

Quote:PM is an superb way to get started without a doctor, just as you say, and many of us have done the same. Do not be surprised though if, like several of us, you find as you progress that you may eventually wish to go further with a doctors assistance. Herbs will do a lot, but in the end, if you do move toward complete transition, you may wish to switch to synthetic.

I'm not ruling out that possibility. I don't know how far this is going to go, but recognise at some point I'm going to have to decide whether the result from herbals is enough. It could well be, and I hope it is because I really don't want to have to rely on a doctor, but who knows!

I do have one story on Fictionmania, but all my other stuff has been published as eBooks in the last year so you probably haven't come across them. Keeping my pen name under my hat for the time being. Blush
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#5

Hi Ellie,

The UK is one of the best places to have GID, they have a lot of structures specifically for treating it. However it does have a downside, it is very slow. Sad
I would suggest you go and see your GP pretty quickly and ask for a referral to the local psychiatry unit. This will probably either in your district or wherever the PCT is based, so relatively local.
There you will tend to see a social worker, then if they think you are worthy of further consideration a psychiatrist.
If you get past both of those (I personally quite enjoyed that part), then they will refer you to another Gender Clinic, for example Charring Cross. I would advise against Charring Cross purely because of the waiting time, it is probably easier to travel, as otherwise they'll be unlikely to prescribe hormones. Either way you're looking at 9 months to a year before you're likely to get hormones, and you can stop the process at any time. I guess the only exception to that is if your GP is awesome, and gives you a holding plan, but mine didn't.
In the mean time while you sort yourself out officially, PM is good, I used it with Spearmint successfully, but don't forget that once you start on PM sterility is looming, so if you wish to protect your options for the future, get some stuff frozen.
I know I am going to be seen as a bit controversial, but for me, PM was a guide to the inevitable, and I personally think it is much safer to go for therapy and get help to understand your goals, than making mistakes blind. These herbs especially PM is powerful stuff.

Good luck and All the best

Arielle

(31-10-2014, 05:55 PM)Ellie Wrote:  Thanks for the welcome ^_^

Quote:PM is an superb way to get started without a doctor, just as you say, and many of us have done the same. Do not be surprised though if, like several of us, you find as you progress that you may eventually wish to go further with a doctors assistance. Herbs will do a lot, but in the end, if you do move toward complete transition, you may wish to switch to synthetic.

I'm not ruling out that possibility. I don't know how far this is going to go, but recognise at some point I'm going to have to decide whether the result from herbals is enough. It could well be, and I hope it is because I really don't want to have to rely on a doctor, but who knows!

I do have one story on Fictionmania, but all my other stuff has been published as eBooks in the last year so you probably haven't come across them. Keeping my pen name under my hat for the time being. Blush

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#6

Join the club,Ellie.

You are lucky, you are quite young, apparently single (?),you have your own hair, and you are already on the road. I too had an aversion to doctors, but ran into health problems sufficiently severe to put me in their hands. You have to learn to use them. I had lost most of my hair by my early 20s, and having been repressed for so long from living in my true gender, am now in a big hurry to take advantage of my new found freedom. Don't be inhibited by your height - it seems to be a common characteristic among gender variant natal males.

Good luck.Rolleyes

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#7

thank you everyone ^_^
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#8

Welcome to the forum. Yay another Brit! Smile

If you have not seen this already, it's a UK specific post I did.

UK Transgender Support


Denita
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#9

Hello Ellie.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

I wish you well with your NBE journey.

Don't forget to post progress pictures every now and then. Tongue
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#10

Hello Ellie..... and a big welcome.
Looking forward to hearing about and seeing
your progress on your journey as you
"grow a pair". Big Grin

This is a wonderful place not matter your goals, nBE or something more... there seems to be someone around that has gone before.
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