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Can I scream yet?

#11

*giggles to myself*

I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription for Cyclobenzaprine earlier today (a muscle relaxer) and when I went up to pay for my script instead of a pill bottle of meds there was a white and pink box. I picked up the box and looked at it and it was a box of Progesterone 1.5mg pills. I giggled inside myself at that as I will eventually be taking just such a medication but I had to point out to the lady at the counter that progesterone was NOT the medication I was there to pick up and that someone had made a mistake. She went back and checked and yes.. they had made a mistake and I had to wait while they corrected it.

I take this as a sign that in my near future I WILL be getting just such a script filled, however I will NOT be doing it at that pharmacy. This was the first time I had used them and they messed up a script fill that badly, doesn't lend to my trusting them to correctly fill any of my prescriptions in the future. It's still a good laugh though. I do admit to having a momentary desire to just pay for the progesterone and leave.. but that would not have been right so.. my better nature won out this time.

~Elain
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#12

I'm even embarrassed to look at herbs in the vitamin shoppe LOL. Can't imagine asking a doctor.
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#13

(14-01-2015, 09:44 PM)Dee_NH Wrote:  I'm even embarrassed to look at herbs in the vitamin shoppe LOL. Can't imagine asking a doctor.

It's amazing all the things you can't imagine doing, and then one day you're doing them. Clara
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#14

ahhhh, o.k.
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#15

(14-01-2015, 09:44 PM)Dee_NH Wrote:  I'm even embarrassed to look at herbs in the vitamin shoppe LOL. Can't imagine asking a doctor.

Just go at it as if you're buying them for someone else. First off, it's not even likely that the sales person will even ask!
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#16

If you're really impatient, you can get bioidentical progesterone cream over the counter. Or for even more bioidentical-ness you could try binaurals to command your body to make it. Some of my favorites are in this post.
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#17

Today went badly for me. I came out as transgender to three long time friends who I thought were more... liberal... with how they view things. One was awesomely supportive. The other two are no longer friends. I won't go into details. I am sure many of you have already experienced much of what I just went through. I spent about an hour crying over the things they said to me. The ironic thing is they said to me, the same things I said to myself for so many years that almost led me to suicide.

Since coming to terms with myself I have lost 7 friends out of the 10 I have revealed myself too. To say it hurts to find people you loved and cared about are so hateful to you over something you can't change is an understatement. I feel more alone now than I have in a long time. I also feel more determined than ever to be who I am. I am thankful for the friends who have stood at my side and are supportive. I would hate to have to do this alone and with no supportive people in my life.

It still hurts though.

~E
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#18

I'll bet it does!!!!
On one hand, it is said that if people you think are your friends won't stick by you no matter what, they were never really your friends to begin with, were they?
On the other hand, IF you think they are at least marginally open to hearing from you again, maybe you could write them a short letter and try to explain to them (if you haven't already) how they are throwing away a great friendship over something that YOU have no real control over. It's NOT YOUR fault that you are this way!! If they suddenly became invalids, would THEY like it if you threw away THEIR friendship simply because of something they had no real control over? Give them something to think about!!
If they don't see things in a better light after that, then, THAT'S not something you can help, either. I guess you'll just have to drop them from your friend list! Who knows, maybe, in time, they'll figure out that they fucked you over for a REALLY stupid reason and decide they really DO want to be your friend!
At least you have a FEW really good friends!! :-)
TRUST me, I KNOW how you feel about how much it hurts!! I've had a number of friends over the years completely abandon me just in times of dire need!! (I was feeling VERY sad over this or that (loss of my best friend, death of my dad or the singer in my band) and JUST wanted SOMEONE to talk to, and those I chose to turn to snubbed me or just didn't want to hear about my problems!! Suffice to say, I seriously doubt I ever tried to talk to them ever again!!)
I hope at least a COUPLE of your friends figure shit out and decide to come back and stick by you after all!!
Take care and just be happy that you are FINALLY on the right road to ACTUALLY becoming the TRUE YOU!! :-)
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#19

Elain, hang in there. It will pass. I know what it feels like to lose a best friend who's trapped in the gender binary straight jacket. It's painful.

The thing is to find new friends who will take you as you are. They won't know the old you, and will embrace your new authentic self expression. New friendships will form if you make the effort to seek them out.

And, the old friends? Be patient, they may come around, yet. If they truly value your friendship, they'll regret the void left by their rejection of you, and reconsider their knee-jerk emotional response to your announcement.

Hugs,
Clara
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#20

(17-01-2015, 05:37 PM)ClaraKay Wrote:  Elain, hang in there. It will pass. I know what it feels like to lose a best friend who's trapped in the gender binary straight jacket. It's painful.

The thing is to find new friends who will take you as you are. They won't know the old you, and will embrace your new authentic self expression. New friendships will form if you make the effort to seek them out.

And, the old friends? Be patient, they may come around, yet. If they truly value your friendship, they'll regret the void left by their rejection of you, and reconsider their knee-jerk emotional response to your announcement.

Hugs,
Clara

It just hurts to think that people you have known for years and thought they were open minded enough to be accepting, turn out to be hateful. One of my ex friends who always said he was a LGBT supporter, was downright evil in the things he said to me, wishing me dead, hoped I caught aids etc etc. That isn't a friendship I would be willing to repair after what he said to me.

Most of my other friends who were not understanding said some pretty hurtful things as well but not as evil as my one friend. A few of them I might consider repairing the friendship some but it would never be the same level of trust from my end as they once had. I'm not real sure it's worth my time if I can't really trust them anymore.

In general right now I am feeling somewhat isolated and depressed. I am trying to take things one step at a time but I can't help but see the mountain I have to climb to get this done. I'm determined to climb it though. I may reach the summit and be all alone up there, but at least i'll have a danged good view and be able to see everything around me with clearer eyes.

~Elain

*PS...

My PM should be here Monday, i'm looking forward to that, and I hope to have another talk with my doctor soon as well and maybe start HRT. *sighs* I guess I am just feeling lonely more than anything else. I may have to load up EVE Online and go blow some ships up and get yelled at for doing something fun by people who don't know the game. Anyway.. thanks all for talking with me. It DOES help. This has to be the most supportive and understanding group of people I have ever met online before. Ya'll rock. ~E

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