[flamesabers]

Hello all.

I've been going cold turkey on pm for a little more than 2 weeks now. I want to see if my running speed/stamina improves while I'm not taking pm. Anecdotal evidence would suggest there is some truth to this, but ultimately I think it's too early to tell.

Overall my mental mood has been fine in the meantime. Libidio is still nonexistent. At times I've been feeling bored or unhappy. I wonder if it's more situational than having anything to do with my lack of pm intake. My motive for starting this thread though is more about what isn't happening than what is. There isn't any flare up of emotions in the realm of gender dysphoria or crossdressing. It's like either my body has a huge reservoir of pm to subsist from during this cold turkey period, or else pm has help balanced me to the point that life isn't going to get crazy for me if I don't take pm every day.

Your thoughts?

[RobinMurphy]

Hi Flame

I'm no expert but I think you build up some PM in your system and when I have stopped I have had not had changes in my mood. I will say that since I started HRT I feel much better. Everyone is different your question is hard to answer.

[froger]

I think I remember a cold turkey thread before (I could be wrong) don't go looking. It would be interesting to see if the things noted in that thread coincide with what happens this time. A way to see if anything has changed permanently. For me taking time off doesn't do much. Perhaps this is related: a family member of mine was on medication, for anxiety I think, for a while. She was feeling good, not having symptoms; so she got lax about taking it, then stopped all together. A few months later her anxiety returned and she had no clue why. Doctor said this h happens to a lot of people. They stop thinking they don't need it. Problem is it takes a few months for the drug to work out of their system. One it's out symptoms come back. I wonder how long PM takes to fully work it's way out or if it's effects are permanent after a while.

[MissC]

I took the past month off, so I do have a few fresh thoughts....

It's like either my body has a huge reservoir of pm to subsist from during this cold turkey period,

Not PM necessarily, but estrogen(s) perhaps? They store in adipose tissue. There's also a good chance your body's hormone production mechanisms have altered over your time with NBE.

Two weeks isn't so long, though. I've noticed it takes about that long before breast soreness goes away after stopping PM... twice now. And it takes a good 10 days back on before the soreness starts coming back.

I have felt that "bored or unhappy" funk you mention, before, on a break. It seems to subside about the time I notice other signs that testosterone is back. Then I feel invincible. So, it may be more physical fatigue than ennui, in that case. And it just seems to be that phase between PM on and off for me.

(My subjective experience, told in retrospective, of course....)

There's a lot wrapped up in hormones -- physical wellbeing, mental outlook, sex drive, etc -- and my holistic outlook says it's all intertwined.

It seems that in a world of go-for-broke transsexuals, there are only a handful of us, here on this very board, approaching this body hacking thing with a cautionary eye to overall health. It is my opinion that this can be done without wrecking the body's delicate-yet-resilient systems; perhaps it could even bring a benefit.

There's a long-term research opportunity here.

[spanky]

I have felt the bored or unhappy feeling when on a break as well. For me it is "flat" feeling, like I've learned that something I was anticipating is in fact not happening. That possibly could be more of a reaction to knowing that I have changed my routine rather than a biochemical response to the change.

There are also some physical sensations or sensitivities that dissipate as Miss C notes. I always miss those. Finally, I tend to be grouchier on breaks.

[sfem]

Having been off PM for some time now, my experience is not that much different from previous times that I have gone off of it.
My libido eventually came back, and perhaps is even stronger than before although that is difficult to properly assess. It doesn't seem to affect my wife's sex drive or interests.
My feet don't give me anywhere near as much pain, and I do not wake up in the night with my toes in agony. I don't crossdream as much, although my tastes in porn definitely change more to the lesbian female type of role.
I feel very conflicted. It is like I am throwing away the boobs I worked so hard for and gave up so much for. Of course, they really don't shrink that much but they do lose fullness. That makes me irrationally upset. I cannot seem to emotionally use the fact that I am improving in energy level and pain relief as a counterbalance to that upset. It leaves me emotionally drained and irritable.
My urge to crossdress is as strong or stronger than ever, and I suppose it is likely a way for my psyche to deal with the problem I described in the previous paragraph.
In the end though, I am of an age where I know that any damage I do to my body is not anywhere near as recoverable as it was when I was younger. I have watched our senior parents do themselves and their quality of life serious irreversible harm by denying the negative effects of some of their choices (diet and activity type choices) and I have no interest in intentionally doing any of that to myself. So unless or until I find a way to not cause the foot pain, I am afraid PM is going to mostly be a no-go for me. I don't want to spend my last 20 years (or whatever I get) in a wheelchair. I'll just have to be a fucked up individual in the ways I have been since youth, instead of the new ways I have been working on for the last several years.
I will say that in my experience PM is quite a bit like a lot of prescription drugs in that it can be 2-4 weeks before changes resulting from starting or stopping it manifest and settle out.

[flamesabers]

Thank you everyone for your feedback.

@Robin-Yeah, I figured pm may have built up in my system. It makes sense considering how some members report a growth spurt soon after they begin a cold turkey break.

@Froger-Interesting story you brought about the anti-anxiety medication. I actually had a somewhat experience with antidepressants. I have wondered if the same might happen with pm if I go cold turkey long enough. I can imagine being grouchy or whatever and someone on the forum telling me "Flame, quit going cold turkey and take some pm. We like you a lot more when there's a higher level of estrogen in your system."

@Miss C-True, 2 weeks isn't a long cold turkey period. I only mentioned it because in the past when I quit taking pm the "withdrawal symptoms" manifested in only a matter of days or so. I haven't starting feeling invincible yet. Maybe I had enough injuries and illnesses to know that isn't true in the slightest?

Yes, I agree a lot is wrapped up in hormones.

@Spanky- The odd thing about the change in routine is I'm still taking my prescribed medication and a multi-vitamin. How long does it take you to get grouchy on your breaks?

@Sfem-Wow, with all your physical ailments, I think you have a lot more motive to go cold turkey on pm than me! I definitely can relate to the feeling that I'm throwing away the efforts I put into NBE when I went cold turkey.

[spanky]

Flamesabres -

The grouchiness doesn't start up for me until a week or ten days after stopping PM.

[Mindy2017]

Does anyone actually know how long PM once taken stays in the system? I ran out, next order not expect for another day but for the last two days it feels like I never stopped -heaviness, tingles, etc. as normal. Thinking it either takes a good period to exit or accumulation does occur, kind of “feeding off inventory” I guess.

[Sofia Bunny]

I have contemplated when would be a good time to take a break, I am not really sure how much I have mentally changed. Now it could be that I have been really stressed this year so maybe it's hard to tell.

My feet don't give me anywhere near as much pain, and I do not wake up in the night with my toes in agony.

sfem, I was having problems with my feet since last June/July. It had seemed to be better, but shortly after I started NBE I started experiencing really bad pains again. I wasn't sure what the cause was as I was taking supplements, protein shakes, and vitamins as well. I stopped everything but the NBE, as I really didn't want that to be the cause.

Unfortunately it still persisted on and off. I went to the doctor and he was telling me that I wasn't hydrated enough. That I wasn't drinking enough water and that was causing an accumulation of uric acid in my joints. Sure enough, took a month or so, but as I started making sure that I was drinking more and more water the pain finally went away. So I try now to make a conscious effort to have a glass of water at my desk and actually drink it. Just some food for thought.