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Wife Unacceptance

#41

(13-06-2015, 08:14 AM)Miranda-nata-est Wrote:  Personally, I have experienced a dramatic shift in my thinking patterns having been taking hormones for some 7 months or so.

I, too, have experienced changes in the way I see the world around me and my response to it. I would go so far as to say that the mental transformations have been more significant than the physical changes. I should add that these changes have been hugely beneficial in my marital relationship.

Having been trained and employed as an engineer, problem solving is very natural to me. Also, I used to gravitate toward ideological view points. It made decision making so much easier. I saw every expressed problem as an invitation to provide a neat and clean solution based on my black/white, right/wrong, good/bad thought process (imagine one of those troubleshooting flowcharts). Expressing empathy was not something I was very good at. Although I still apply that engineering thought process to deal with problems, I am much more sensitive to the feelings of others than before transition. In many ways this change has made resolving relationship issues in my life a lot easier.

Now, of course, there are women who think in black/white terms, as well, So, generalizing these difference on the basis of gender would be a mistake. Like gender identity and sexual orientation, brain structure is also likely to vary semi-independently of one's biological sex. Still, on a statistical basis, I think there is truth to your point, Miranda.

Clara
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#42
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(28-04-2015, 07:57 PM)Ausha Wrote:  A few things have crossed my mind reading your story.

1) she is gay and is too scared to accept it. She could be distancing herself because she's scared to admit to you and herself she likes it.

2) she could be cheating and trying to find the smallest excuse to leave.

3) something in your relationships past is bothering her.

Now her telling people you didn't agree too isn't right. I think she is way out of line.

If you could get into her social sites like Facebook or something you could learn what she really thinks. I warn you it may be extremely hurtful what you find.

Some people just don't understand.

OK she claimed to be gay and said she isn't attracted to you. That can be translated into...Your wife is attracted to women. Your wife has or wants to use a strap on, on you or her female friends. She is angry, really its not angry, she is sexually frustrated because she discovered her penis and needs to use it. I suggest you shop with her and buy one for her use. I suggest you watch her use it and let her use it on you.
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#43

I know it has been a while since I replied here. I haven't been frequenting this site for a couple months.

So much has happened since I wrote everything above. I found out that she had been cheating, with another woman. I don't want to debate what's considered "cheating". She said she only went as far as kissing, and chest groping. It sent me over the edge.

She wasn't living at the house when I found out, but she was when it happened (back in early may).

I have had the most scary, intense and insane few months. We got to the point where I was talking to a divorce lawyer and we were talking about how to move forward.

Things started simmering down. We went to marriage counseling together. The counselor referred her to an independent therapist so that she could figure out if she was straight or gay. She saw that therapist a handful of times.. Didn't seem to get anywhere with her. She started working again, which put her in a really good mood..

She moved back in like a month and a half ago. A few weeks ago, she committed herself to our relationship and its been amazing. She's like a new person.. Excited to explore me and enjoy the changes. She's actually been happy for the first time in a VERY long time. We have had a couple small arguments, and from what happened, I'm very hesitant about giving in to the relationship.

Life is getting better, and I'm praying that this continues.

I always say this, but I'm typing on my phone and can explain in greater detail later. Thank you all for the advice!
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#44

Did you open up your relationship to acomidate her bi needs? How does she like your breasts and figure?
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#45

(29-08-2015, 02:35 AM)hurricane Wrote:  I know it has been a while since I replied here. I haven't been frequenting this site for a couple months.

So much has happened since I wrote everything above. I found out that she had been cheating, with another woman. I don't want to debate what's considered "cheating". She said she only went as far as kissing, and chest groping. It sent me over the edge.

She wasn't living at the house when I found out, but she was when it happened (back in early may).

I have had the most scary, intense and insane few months. We got to the point where I was talking to a divorce lawyer and we were talking about how to move forward.

Things started simmering down. We went to marriage counseling together. The counselor referred her to an independent therapist so that she could figure out if she was straight or gay. She saw that therapist a handful of times.. Didn't seem to get anywhere with her. She started working again, which put her in a really good mood..

She moved back in like a month and a half ago. A few weeks ago, she committed herself to our relationship and its been amazing. She's like a new person.. Excited to explore me and enjoy the changes. She's actually been happy for the first time in a VERY long time. We have had a couple small arguments, and from what happened, I'm very hesitant about giving in to the relationship.

Life is getting better, and I'm praying that this continues.

I always say this, but I'm typing on my phone and can explain in greater detail later. Thank you all for the advice!

Glad to find out that you got to the bottom of the situation. I do hope things work out. The world does not need another broken marriage, or a bad one either.
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#46

(29-08-2015, 04:07 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  Did you open up your relationship to acomidate her bi needs? How does she like your breasts and figure?

I would think he has a little better Priority List a going right now. But that is a couple of good questions tho.
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#47

(29-08-2015, 04:26 AM)iaboy Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:07 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  Did you open up your relationship to acomidate her bi needs? How does she like your breasts and figure?

I would think he has a little better Priority List a going right now. But that is a couple of good questions tho.

My opinion is his wife is attracted to him because he is really femanine. She like his breast growth and I bet she loves his breasts.
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#48

(29-08-2015, 07:57 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:26 AM)iaboy Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:07 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  Did you open up your relationship to acomidate her bi needs? How does she like your breasts and figure?

I would think he has a little better Priority List a going right now. But that is a couple of good questions tho.

My opinion is his wife is attracted to him because he is really femanine. She like his breast growth and I bet she loves his breasts.

No, I didn't open our relationship up. And, it's not even a possibility for me to stay in this if that were a part of it. I forgave what she did, as I believe it was something deeper as the root cause, not the action itself. She was in a very dark place.

As for the breast growth, I'm not really sure on her stance. She hated it with a passion, but am getting the feeling that while depressed, she just hated me. I'm thinking that me being not 100% guy mode all the time helps her, but again... I'm just not sure. We are going to have a talk tonight about it all.

Thank you for the questions!
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#49

(29-08-2015, 07:57 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:26 AM)iaboy Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:07 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  Did you open up your relationship to acomidate her bi needs? How does she like your breasts and figure?

I would think he has a little better Priority List a going right now. But that is a couple of good questions tho.

My opinion is his wife is attracted to him because he is really femanine. She like his breast growth and I bet she loves his breasts.

I suspect it would be difficult to move forward in the marrage "union" without being able to take both partners needs and wants into account. I would wish Hurricane and his wife the best of luck, I have my fingers crossed and hope that everything works out for both of you. A partners support for some of us is worth its weight in gold.
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#50

(30-08-2015, 06:24 AM)hurricane Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 07:57 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:26 AM)iaboy Wrote:  
(29-08-2015, 04:07 AM)iam72hrstv Wrote:  Did you open up your relationship to acomidate her bi needs? How does she like your breasts and figure?

I would think he has a little better Priority List a going right now. But that is a couple of good questions tho.

My opinion is his wife is attracted to him because he is really femanine. She like his breast growth and I bet she loves his breasts.

No, I didn't open our relationship up. And, it's not even a possibility for me to stay in this if that were a part of it. I forgave what she did, as I believe it was something deeper as the root cause, not the action itself. She was in a very dark place.

As for the breast growth, I'm not really sure on her stance. She hated it with a passion, but am getting the feeling that while depressed, she just hated me. I'm thinking that me being not 100% guy mode all the time helps her, but again... I'm just not sure. We are going to have a talk tonight about it all.

Thank you for the questions!

I had a 15 year marriage end 3 years ago. But now I engaged to be married. I know I didn't make my x happy. i wasn't happy either. She wanted financial success and a new house and expensive things. Sexually she was satisfied. I could take care of my own needs. Now my new lady is really happy and is willing to work with the financial level we want. My body is changing we will see how it goes. I am fairly feminine and she is fairly manish.
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