[julieTG]

Tweeners and Weeners
Many tg folk say the in-betweeners have a harder ride in this world,
Its difficult and sometimes I agree ie on my hot heat fantasy days , and then others when normality switch comes on, then its not a huge deal. The fluctuating states though can be a pain.
When you look at the more stable of us and they have grown and are happy and they state their desire to transition has decreased and their happy and more satisfied, that is very encouraging for the rest of us millowing around in various states of upheaval, angst, depression and worry.
This is why we need these more experienced folks.
Some of the hardest and poignant advice I have seen here is watch for the lack of interest to the boys tool, and this I agree 100% with,
I looked down the other day and there it was all dangly and swelled and I went YAY, I like seeing my boy tool ready for work,
However when I ramped on pm, the pm knocked it out at first and the HIGH DOSES made me not worry about it, ie I was in a FOG and concentrating on boobs, then the T started dampening and I came back to normality and reduced dosage, and I love my boy tool again.
Also reading a post from sfem and his doses were low and he keeps full function and size, ie
500mg-to 1000mg per day with now and again 2000mg use, this is an important point here , small doses can still give us growth and with a more chilled mind, high doses can carry us all near to that fence, and it’s a dangerous one of by going near the fence the lack of interest in boy tool occurs. Perhaps when lack of interest in boy tool occurs when your looking over the fence ???????.
There are a great many here who fence hopped, some we never hear from again, have they been scared or fence hopped ?, we simply don’t know.
One thing that stays greatly in mind from communications with many is, the moment interest in boy tool is lost or the comment “I don’t really care about it anymore” , that’s the red flag fence is coming near, and may up the dose and hop off to susans, tsdiy, lauras etc etc or the other forums for “grown up girls”.
This forum is the best there is in my view, full stop.
However for the people here who have lost function down below, ie ed or med problems, well that’s completely different, and I lost function in mine through other reasons I would take a dim view of it and would push further ?
Julie

[Happyme]

Hi Julie,
I just love your philosophizing!!
Good bits to ponder, but I dont understand your last sentence/question.
Can you help me figure out what your asking?
Bobbi

[julieTG]

Hi is it this sentence

?

However for the people here who have lost function down below, ie ed or med problems, well that’s completely different, and I lost function in mine through other reasons I would take a dim view of it and would push further ?
Julie
If is

I think I mean ,

I am a Man, but with a strong female side or need ?, but I have excellent male function below, so if I lost that function then I would not consider myself quite as much of a man any more, so would going nearer the fence matter ?,

as my wife said , she is ok with me on the pm in fact quite encouraging ?

but she said its to early to lose erections, and she is right on that side, so lower doses means keeping erections so further away from fence , but say if I was 60 and many guys lose it by then, well you can siddle up to the fence a bit nearer with higher doses , if you choose,

Think that makes sense ?

[Happyme]

Thanks Julie,
No I see what your saying. And I believe that you are correct, If the little boy dont stand up anymore then there is no reason to restrict yourself to lower doses of PM. Full speed ahead as they say.
Bobbi

[tanysquirrel]

I plan on running up to and somersaulting over it in full glee. Woohoo..free at last!

[Erin]

Julie, you're like a modern day Yoda, lol. I love to listen to your rational. But you are correct in asking/answering what are the real red flags that highlight someone who just jumped on that runaway train. I just turned 47 and my wife and I really don't have sex anymore. One, she never really had a strong libido where I always wanted her every night. Two, now that I'm recovering from cancer, well, I can't say my libido is near where it used to be. Having a near-death experience has given me a mind-set of "I don't care, what happens down there" because I'm living for me now. With that said, I'm getting ready to buy about a years worth of ainterol and a NB. I already have a running script for finn and spiro for hair loss. Now, my wife does not know what I am doing nor do I plan to tell her. My chemo has already messed with my hormones so that is my alibi. I know she'll still have me regardless because she really loves me, especially after what we been through. I have no desire to "hop the fence" but I'd like to get close enough to peek over the other side. There are so many facets, levels, and characteristics to what we're doing, that there isn't any direct or straight line to what we're trying to accomplish. Mostly because everyone wants something different and they have to find that elusive delicate recipe that works for them. For me, I'd like to have a pretty pair and softer features-already got the butt from soccer, lol. And then you also have a wide varying degree of mental stability here. Most here seem fairly level-headed with reasonable expectations. But let me tell you, I've met a few here that clearly, either demonstrate substance abuse or should be seeking professional help. But going back to the "fence" thing, I personally find an attraction of trying to "ride the fence", to be androgynous where I can be one of the boys, drinking beer, rocking out on drums or bass and getting greasy under the hood but then also be her BFF who likes to go shopping for dresses/shoes and getting mani-pedi's while drinking a glass of wine. You know, have my cake and eat it too. Will I get there, probably not. I'm realistic in that sense. But it's a dream and I'll keep reaching for it.
Thanks for listening.

Erin Lynnette
(the girl in the hooters uniform)

[Erin]

One note I will add, sometimes I still have a hard time deciding on E or PM. I like the effects of both but I hear PM is much easier on your emotions.

Erin Lynnette

[julieTG]

Erin

do please tell your wife , x

on e vs pm, um

I think growth is similar but e has a far greater mental impact than pm,

I am on pm and growth is as fast as low doses of e, but mental effect is not as dampening,

so in other words e will shut the desires down in low doses quite fast or

FLIP YOUR SWITCH , so be careful , as its a gamble ?

Julie

[dcdee]

I love this thread and the thoughtful insight Julie brings to the table. I find that is rings so true, as a forum jumper myself. I think I have found a home in that the discussions hear seem to be more relevant to what is going on in my life.

Having been on E, I can a test that there is definitely a shift in mental attitude that made me want to jump the fence. There was also a swing in my libido and sexuality. My desire to be functional as a man evaporated with my functionality, and my desire to please men in an intimate manner took on a life of its own. (Was it there before, is a discussion for another time)

Being off E and on BO for 4 months has seen an awakening of my boy bits and an increased in a desire to perform my husbandly duties. But I am conflicted. I deeply desire to have a feminine form. I love my wife dearly, but my confusion comes in how. Do I love her as a husband or a sister? Both can be unbreakable bonds and each has its own type of intimacy. Again topics for another thread

I am truly on the fence or near it. Part of me wants to jump over and roll in the green grass that I see on the other side. But part of me is comfortable in my life, but frustrated in wondering if the fantasy of what is on the other side of the will meet the reality if i do jump to the other side.

I know one thing for sure, I need to have a feminine body. Lack of muscle tome, smooth skin, long hair and of course BREASTS. I am doing what I need to do to get it. But as I close in on the fence (again) I have to ask myself, do I want to jump it?

I know what the answer is, and it scares the shit out of me.

Thank you for reading my rambling

[jannet.duff]

I am truly on the fence or near it. Part of me wants to jump over and roll in the green grass that I see on the other side. But part of me is comfortable in my life, but frustrated in wondering if the fantasy of what is on the other side of the will meet the reality if i do jump to the other side.

I know one thing for sure, I need to have a feminine body. Lack of muscle tome, smooth skin, long hair and of course BREASTS. I am doing what I need to do to get it. But as I close in on the fence (again) I have to ask myself, do I want to jump it?

I know what the answer is, and it scares the me

Yeah, those thoughts echo through my head several times day. It is a fine line we walk.