(07-06-2016, 10:12 PM)A Little Allelomorph Wrote: I have found, throughout my transistion, as I become more balanced with self, I have a greater appreciation of everything I see around me.
whether it be a nice well maintained garden or yard, or perhaps a nice opera piece ( yes, I like opera 
) or even a nice well prepared meal.
as you find your center, you become more content, in my opinion. not content in the manner where you tend to "settle" for less than you want, need or desire, however, but content in the manner of you are happier with things. whether it be of self, others, family.
Don't get me wrong, I do still have my days that I get a bit cranky and/or upset with others. I am human after all. however the good days seem to outweigh the bad, and for that alone, I am thankful.
some may see my thankfulness and contentment as being Mushy.. or over emotional, but its not. its just being grateful to be able to be me.
too often, we tend to get stuck in the rush of the day to day things, without taking the time to stop and smell the roses. Treat yourself well and be content. After all, things can always be a lot worse (just NEVER ask how, you will find out much to your dismay).
Allelomorph,
I'd actually twist in a different direction.
Think meditation. You want to be calm,aware, and just control yourself.
But you start to smell things, hear things, see things differently. Your brain is clearer, so you can enjoy things more. One breath of air, you've smelled ALL the roses. (My mom did something like that. Challenged to tell the vendor what apples went into the apple juice, she named5 of the 6, and just didn't recall the 6th ones name.) You walk outside, and smell the roses. And the Peonies. And the Hyacinth, and the Lavender, and the Honeysuckle... All in one breath.
I used to meditate daily.
Now I can't even get "alone time" on the toilet.
Meditation has the effects you describe, though, and if you relax... you breathe more deeply, at a more steady pace. No tension in the shoulders, constriction in the rib cage... So, you achieve the end goals without the actions, in a sense - likely, mimicking the effects of the meditation. And at the same time, you're more centered because you don't HAVE the tensions, either. So it becomes a positive feedback loop.
What I'm seeing and facing is, the exact opposite. I think a lot of us on the "inside" have, if you will, is the exact OPPOSITE, a negative feedback loop. We have to hide our vulnerabilities because we've been hurt int he past. This makes us stressed and upset - making us more vulnerable (like a sick animal is driven from the herd or pack, we give off that "weak" vibe, and predatory humans take advantage of it - and drive us away, or attack us) ... So we hide more... And the tension disfigures the body, making the chest constricted, limited breathing, reducing oxygen in the blood, dumping adrenaline (fight or flight) into our bloodstream.... And the process repeats, until we're isolated from the world, have high blood pressure, and no one to socialize with. We can't trust people to socialize with... Can't be honest and genuine in who we are.
Part of that problem is, we don't seem to understand most people are very shallow and uncaring, almost sociopathic. They literally do not care - their social engagement making for perceived popularity) comes from social interactions. They aren't so much liked, as useful. It's about being seen with the right person, talking to the right person, being part of the right "tribe". It's networking, though they don't see it that way.
Think Morlocks and Eloi from the film version of "the time machine" (The original, I believe. There was a "recent" remake, IIRC.) Eloi were simple, happy, interacting with each other.... and when the sirens came on, the ones below ground? Well, no big deal. They were a herd. Like most of America, in that sense - beer in the fridge, football on TV, and the world could end - Boobus Americanus wouldn't know or care.
Hope that's not too harsh.
I'd like to think we here have a bit of a deeper connection, but at the same time, I notice with me: I put more weight on the social interactions than others do. Talking to someone, I remember what they say, how they say it, what the message was (and it may not match the words). For them? It's just social libations, something to smooth the wheels, establish a connection. It's the human equivalent of HTTP protocol, a "handshake" which just says: "Hi, I want to talk to MSN." "Hi, I'm MSN." And then the data exchange occurs.
I'm an oddball to begin with, but - if I actually TALK to someone, I want to KNOW them. I don't care about how they're doing today (it's usually a lie), or how their kids are (I've never met them, never will), and I don't really think their life is all that important. Nor is mine, to be realistic, and I don't see a need to talk about it for hours.
But all of that, to most people, is what matters. For them, once all of that is said, THEN we talk about the problem. The database is corrupted, we'll need to rebuild it. You couldn't say that at 9 AM, it's now noon and the India staff is offline? The India staff, who are the only ones who can do the work? Are you FüᴐЌing STOOPID? You're the same person who will come complain I didn't meet the goals come review time! But you had to "establish a connection" so we could accomplish this task - which is now delayed 20 hours?
I belabor it to make the point. ;-)
How about, "Hi, D, we need to get the database scrubbed and rebuilt, it's been corrupted." Connection established, task enunciated, let me get in touch with India. Problem: Solved.
Everywhere I work, same thing. I need something, I ask, I'm straightforward, and I get nowhere. But if I were to hobnob, shmooze, and demand things for my own personal benefit? THAT I could accomplish. One helps all of us, one helps me. These "normals" only think in terms of the second one, when they meet someone who wants to resolve issues and fix things, they ostracize us.
Like normal society does with us - semi-rightly, to be fair. We ARE abnormal, by definition, so we need to try to work within that foundation - not rebuild all of society to endorse us. But we CANNOT accept society mauling us, either. We shouldn't be ostracized, attacked, treated like lepers. I'd include murderers, but most people seem far less upset by murderers than they are the idea of a "MAN" in the ladies' room. A transsexual man, just doing the normal bodily functions, is more offensive than a murderer.
Because "he" MIGHT be a Pervert! You'll notice it's the same arguments as gun control. Someone MIGHT misuse a gun, so NO ONE who has NOT YET misused a gun is allowed to have one.
In other words, everyone is a potential criminal.
Every man is a probable rapist.
The words keep getting revised, cheapened, shorn of meaning.
But we're not meant to be machines or tools or a collective. There are "women" who are genetically male. (Their karyotype is 46(X,Y) - but no one knows that because they're born looking like women. AIS.) Chimeras, two or more embryos who formed a single offspring. Siamese or conjoined twins. Even some animals are sexual clones, all female. Bacteria performing chemogenesis (replacing photosynthesis with a thermal synthesis).
Somehow, WE are the oddballs. But a young girl who wants to undergo earlobe stretching and ritual scarification, THAT we must embrace and celebrate.
Who decided this?
To quote the Professor, "I don't want to live on this planet any more."
-Dianna
