[AmberShambles]

So admittedly, this is my first time ever posting a thread on here, I am a total noobie, so please forgive me if I am ever misinformed, I came here to try and learn more about the confusing mess that is me. i have only ever "admitted" my dysphoria to my current girlfriend, who though very supportive of me, only found out when she did because she went snooping and "outted" me before i was ready. maybe it was for the best because here I am ready to learn, and i certainly can't handle dealing with growing more masculine by the day, I'm just not sure she is someone I fully trust to know this about me before anyone else. the relationship is rocky you could say. I'm 24 and have been struggling with my gender issues since I was about 7-8 (I first started to experiment with crossdressing,I actually haven't even admitted that to my gf yet) and sadly i tried althroughout highschool to surpress any aspect of my feminitiy. I had been conditioned by family members and peers that what I want and how I feel are wrong and a sick joke. i obviously do not feel this way and it really hurts me. I plan on coming out to my best friend when she comes back home in 2 weeks( she moved to the west coast for school 2 years ago, our friendship is just a strong as ever, she is my best friend and I love her so much) because i know she is the one person i can trust not to judge me and to stay by me through this whole deal. my next plan after finally talking to someone who i trust about it is to see my physician, let her in on my issues, and try to get myself in some much needed therapy. I guess what i am asking is, HELP ME PLEASE!! am I doing any of this right? can i be doing something better?

[Lotus]

Welcome Amber, BN is as good a place to start with self discovery, you will finds loads of info and more importantly support.

[AmberShambles]

Thank you Lotus, it means so much to read that, (poor hearts still thumpin, I'm shaking a tad) I also should note I usually try not to be so sloppy in my writings but I was nervously speeding my way through it before closing up shop end of my work day.
retail life on its own requires so much energy for me to pretend to be this guy, it's like a breathe of fresh air when I come home and can just be myself. That being said, I desperately want to halt my body from becoming anymore masculine. As it is I have a pretty androgenous build, 33" bust(no boobies yet) 27" waist and 32'hips, no visible Adams apple, little facial hair( but what is the in the upper lip and chin are gettin scary coarse and thick) and hair past my nippies.
I was raised off dairy( its the antichrist to my folks), so soy was a large part of my diet, maybe having something to do with my feminine figure.
I'm want to start trying PM, spear mint , Saw palmetto and red clover to further encourage my body to become female and possibly start growing breasts before I going see my doctor,whom I also adore and trust for 3 glorious reasons 1; this woman delivered me from the womb 24 years ago and has been my only doc since 2; one of her sons is gay and she loves and supports him so I feel safe that she won't judge me when I tell her what's up and3; because she gave me my medical weed card for my Depression/Anxiety and sleep disorders.( gee who woulda thought someone who feels so outta place would have conditions like that right?) I would definatly be telling my her what I have been taking, or should I just be patient and talk to her first?

Time is very precious

[Sofia Bunny]

Hello and welcome, I hope you find what you're looking for here. There is a wealth of information here, as well as a friendly bunch of people here that lend their support. This community is wonderful in that we share and help one another as best we can.

As for whether you are doing things right, or in the right order that is completely up to you and what you feel comfortable in doing and sharing. When it comes to revealing one's self, there is no right or wrong, there is just what helps you get through the moment and onto the next step.

If and when it comes time to try an herbal regiment then there is a sort of wrong and right way in that one should ease into whatever you try to ensure you have no adverse reactions to what you are taking. Too much too quickly can be very bad for you health wise. You want to listen to your body as it can indicate when somethings is wrong. Also remember this is a bit of trial and error, what works from some may not work for you. So programs can require tweaking to find what is best suited for you.

Unfortunately your story is not that uncommon, I'm sure plenty of us here have experienced similar situations at one point or another, I know I certainly did. I never quite fit in, and learned to blend in and act "normal". That was my way of dealing with the world.

The beauty of this forum is there is acceptance here and many willing to lend a helping hand, a patient ear, or a shoulder or two to cry on.

Thank you for sharing, I hope you find what you're looking for and are able to achieve some semblance of inner peace.

[AmberShambles]

"If and when it comes time to try an herbal regiment then there is a sort of wrong and right way in that one should ease into whatever you try to ensure you have no adverse reactions to what you are taking. Too much too quickly can be very bad for you health wise. You want to listen to your body as it can indicate when somethings is wrong. Also remember this is a bit of trial and error, what works from some may not work for you. So programs can require tweaking to find what is best suited for you. "

Sofia, this is exactly what I am wondering about Thank you so much! I know this is something I have to do, I need to be true to myself, the person I wish daily I had the courage to be sooner. I don't want to regret not starting sooner anymore but I also want to make sure I'm not gonna damage myself, especially not in a way that will affect my transitio! I have been reading and researching like crazy but I'm still so lost, I can't tell you how good it feels to have people reach out this fast, if at all. :*(

I Think I may try starting with just a low dose of PM and spearmint tea, in hope that I can stop my body from becoming any more masculine and hopeful start helping me feel more like myself, until I see my doctor and have the scary talk I have tried to do twice already. It's only a month or so until I see, but her this time I am prepared, I'm gonna do this!

[Happyme]

Hi Amber!
and welcome too.
It sounds like your on the right track, and are sensible enough to not want breasts tomorrow, because its not going to happen that fast.
A very simple thing to begin is massage.
Here is link to a great massage post;
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=26280
Its easy and also gets you in touch with how your breasts are growing.
Add PM to your massage oil and you get the benefit of putting where its supposed to be.
We are here for ya
Bobbi

[jannet.duff]

Welcome to the forum, as others have already mentioned, it sounds like you are in the right track. Something simple like PM/Red clover and reishi will be a good way to start. Hopefully your Dr can help with some synthetics, but don't be surprised if she sends you to a gender therapist to prescribe the hormones and blockers.

I see your in Canada, you may find this helpful. Assuming you are in Ontario.
If you are in Ontario, and you want to shoot me a private message on your location, I will see if I can find a support group for you.

www.rainbowhealthontario.ca/resources/gender-journeys-supporting-trans-people-through-group-work/

[CindiSmith]

Welcome fellow Canadian, I wish I had the courage when I was your age,It gets tougher as you get older.I think the world is a different place today so relax and be yourself, people come and go but you are always right there.You found a great place here with tons of knowledge, enjoy yourself.
Cindi

[tanysquirrel]

Hail and welcome! I hope that you find the answers that you are looking for. BN is a very supportive place for all types of persons There are a lot of knowledgeable people here who can assist you with whatever it is you need.

Feel free to speak up and ask your questions!

[The First Aria]

Welcome aboard, Amber. Here's to hoping you have a enlightening reading and doing adventure. There is a lot of great info, and remember this.... No one here is the only one is this predicament, we all either still in it, or just found our way out..