(11-09-2016, 09:22 PM)WithoutACompass Wrote: Back at it its a vicious cycle of be a man and i am not trans in any sense of the word just referencing chest wise. And then i collapse and order more natureday and use the soap and tell the wife its hypoalergenic and dermatologic cause of my work environment (steel worker) tell her its to control dirt in pores etc. My legs break out a lot (sogn of estrogen dominance in men i read) so shes persuaded and doesnt question it. However my chest is getting much softer and the sides have filled out quite a bit. Projecting isnt an issue however i feel thats around the corner im at a wtf am i doing moment and wandering will i stop or eventually have undeniable breasts with and without a shirt and end up at a b cup nd go what did i do. Not to mention what the wife will think
If it makes you feel any better, most of those feelings I still get ( as do some of the ladies in my transgender support group ). Like it or not, we are mentally conditioned on what the world expects of us. I doubt any member of the BNE team here does not have those thoughts once in a while, or even question themselves.
It sounds like you are sitting on the edge of a ( gender ) pool just dipping your toes, trying to figure out whether the water is warm enough to actually swim in or not.
The question of the wife, I bit the bullet and sat down with mine. My feelings are, she will either dump you or support you. Eventually the outcome is always going to be the same. In your mind you have an idea were you want to go, or head towards,
it just depends on the route you decide to take.
Your wife wont be blind for ever, she will be more pissed that not only have you lied to her so far , but you continued to lie to her, even though you knew the consequences.
Have you thought of seeing a therapist ?
Sex, its what's on your drivers license.
Gender, its how you feel inside.
DUFF - Designated Unique Feminine Friend.