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Will it end

#1

Back at it Sad its a vicious cycle of be a man and i am not trans in any sense of the word just referencing chest wise. And then i collapse and order more natureday and use the soap and tell the wife its hypoalergenic and dermatologic cause of my work environment (steel worker) tell her its to control dirt in pores etc. My legs break out a lot (sogn of estrogen dominance in men i read) so shes persuaded and doesnt question it. However my chest is getting much softer and the sides have filled out quite a bit. Projecting isnt an issue however i feel thats around the corner im at a wtf am i doing moment and wandering will i stop or eventually have undeniable breasts with and without a shirt and end up at a b cup nd go what did i do. Not to mention what the wife will think
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#2

(11-09-2016, 09:22 PM)WithoutACompass Wrote:  Back at it Sad its a vicious cycle of be a man and i am not trans in any sense of the word just referencing chest wise. And then i collapse and order more natureday and use the soap and tell the wife its hypoalergenic and dermatologic cause of my work environment (steel worker) tell her its to control dirt in pores etc. My legs break out a lot (sogn of estrogen dominance in men i read) so shes persuaded and doesnt question it. However my chest is getting much softer and the sides have filled out quite a bit. Projecting isnt an issue however i feel thats around the corner im at a wtf am i doing moment and wandering will i stop or eventually have undeniable breasts with and without a shirt and end up at a b cup nd go what did i do. Not to mention what the wife will think

If it makes you feel any better, most of those feelings I still get ( as do some of the ladies in my transgender support group ). Like it or not, we are mentally conditioned on what the world expects of us. I doubt any member of the BNE team here does not have those thoughts once in a while, or even question themselves.
It sounds like you are sitting on the edge of a ( gender ) pool just dipping your toes, trying to figure out whether the water is warm enough to actually swim in or not.
The question of the wife, I bit the bullet and sat down with mine. My feelings are, she will either dump you or support you. Eventually the outcome is always going to be the same. In your mind you have an idea were you want to go, or head towards,
it just depends on the route you decide to take.
Your wife wont be blind for ever, she will be more pissed that not only have you lied to her so far , but you continued to lie to her, even though you knew the consequences.

Have you thought of seeing a therapist ?
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#3

WAC, I would highly suggest a therapist as well. I found one that she is gentle, yet firm. Also gives out great insight.

Maybe he/she can help you to decide your true nature and place.
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#4

I assure you no therapy is needed. I am 110% affirmed in i am male and have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a woman at all. I wear sheer male panty like briefs and a barely there wireless strapless bra for mt now bouncing chest that has yet to take the shape of what it feels lime. Outside of that there is 0 feminine thought or feeling in me. I just always wanted breasts...not a vagina or long hair or pretty nails, just boobs. Idk oerhaps its thw porn i always watched that later bored me and drifted me in to tg captions and porn thus leading to fascination and curiosity of developing tits without hormones and such that then lead me to natureday and pm. My wife is ultra accepting and i believe firmly she would be ok with my breasts long as it was natural which to her knowledge would be. I have had low t most of my life due to steroid in medicines as a younger kid and have alwags had signs of low t, acne in areas, fuller hips and butt than others (every girl ive dated comments on my waist and butt shape) fine light colored body hair, mood swings etc. Just never took t suppleme tation cause i wsnt kids one day and was told unnatural t can stop normal t and make you sterile...i know pm does too eventually but thats why i take it in low doses...500mg a day.

I just wish there was no social stigma and if a guy had breasts whethwr a or dd cup that he wouldnt be judged. Especially if he looked, presented, and was male in voice body mind and such.

Def def def do not need a therapist which is whu i posted it in staying male section which to no offense of others, thought thats why this section existed. For men with 0 interest in being women at all to talk about their feelings in wanting female physical characteristics without the intent to be a woman in any way
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#5

Hey withoutacompass!

Im really glad you are posting. I feel like I am in the same boat as you to some extent. I keep going back and forth on the boob growth. I am definitely a male and want to stay male. I do wish to grow breasts and would also love to lactate.
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#6

Omg lactation would be so fun and enjoyable i personally think the pains of it wouod be so worth having lol. Yeah im 30 newly married and got a lot of friends and am avid in the community in planning. The suspicions of my manliness but developing breasts is solely why i am so on and off and nervous. Has 0 to do with gender dysphoria just everything to do with a shit load of personal life responsibilities and how far i can go before people go now maybe some growth but C cups? You are def doing something to do this. Thats what ibdont want but i feel im gonna be off on and eventually grow a few years more and wake up to c cups bouncing and going wtf did i do and how my wife is gonna react if they get to be big enoigh to be noticable and projecting and such.
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#7

A couple pics. Natureday doesnt seem to give areola and nipple growth just stimulates tissue itself to expand so i feel ND lacks the hormonal abilities PM promotes on the bodys changes when taking it. Also a perk i feel of ND thoigh no risk of losing function or adapting other female characteristics so the suspicion of hormones i feel wouldnt be there. Hate the secret but guess we all keep a skeleton or two in the closet.
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#8

Hi WAC,

if/when you take pm, yes that will affect you, and yes you will grow aerolas and more glands, its completley different to ND,

also as others will tell you, pm for some balance and for some open a huge
pandoras box that many did not realise was in a box,

and well I lose count of the people here and on other forums, who absolutely had no intention of becoming women , or feminising , they simply wanted
breasts, many are booked now for srs, had srs, on the other side of the board now on full transition HRT,

its a very tough and dangerous road we travel,

one of the most gorgeous girls on here, her posts say same and 2 years later well,



Julie
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#9

I have no desire for bottom surgery, and yet I am growing boobs. Many people say that is an odd desire... And yet I felt I was normal, but not. You say are a male in no need of a therapist....

You can't bake a cake, frost it and eat it all at the same time. Please get it under control, by your own statements, you are waffling in the breeze. If you don't try to get a handle on it now, you will have to get a handle on it later then. Either that, or you will end up like a wreck frittering away like many of us here have done and some are still doing.
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#10

Not everybody in transition wants bottom surgery either.
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