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I WANT to die
#11
Thank you all for your support! Today I was feeling at a low again so I went to my local hospital and requested the assistance of a crisis worker. We started on the subject of my wife leaving and we finished on my transgenderism. In the end I was feeling well enough to eat, and a nurse brought me a couple tuna sandwiches and a glass of OJ. I literally wholfed down the food, and I did NOT get sick to my stomach. I was feeling like a new person already! But as I was on my way home, I happened to cross paths with the man she left me for... Ugh. I snapped and gave him the beatdown. Now I have a stress fracture on my right index finger from punching and a sprained ankle from kicking him while he was down. Fortunately there was no police action taken, but my ex is furious at me for destroying her boy toy. Now I am receiving threatening phone calls from his buddies and if I try to get police involved, there's the risk of me going down for what I did. Damn me and my temper!
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#12
Oh and I forgot to mention that the social worker gave me the email address to contact the local LGBTQ support group!
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#13
I've been away and just seeing this- I am so sorry this happened.  Lots of folks here are rooting for you, but so glad you have reached out for some local help.  I have no magic healing words, but know that you can get through this, and that life is always worth living, even if it's tough to see it from the low spot you're in.  Sometimes what seem like the worst moments in life we later recognize as turning points where things started to get better.   I hope that this is the case for you now.
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#14
(02-11-2016, 05:50 AM)GamerGuy Wrote: Thank you all for your support! Today I was feeling at a low again so I went to my local hospital and requested the assistance of a crisis worker. We started on the subject of my wife leaving and we finished on my transgenderism. In the end I was feeling well enough to eat, and a nurse brought me a couple tuna sandwiches and a glass of OJ. I literally wholfed down the food, and I did NOT get sick to my stomach. I was feeling like a new person already! But as I was on my way home, I happened to cross paths with the man she left me for... Ugh. I snapped and gave him the beatdown. Now I have a stress fracture on my right index finger from punching and a sprained ankle from kicking him while he was down. Fortunately there was no police action taken, but my ex is furious at me for destroying her boy toy. Now I am receiving threatening phone calls from his buddies and if I try to get police involved, there's the risk of me going down for what I did. Damn me and my temper!


The phone calls are just talk, no one is going to risk getting them selves in trouble with the police. As the guy was more than likely involved with your wife before you split, I figure he got what he deserved. I'm sure most of his so called friends do too
Sex, its what's on your drivers license.
Gender, its how you feel inside.

DUFF - Designated Unique Feminine Friend.
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#15
(02-11-2016, 05:53 AM)GamerGuy Wrote: Oh and I forgot to mention that the social worker gave me the email address to contact the local LGBTQ support group!


Thats some good news.

Im glad you were able to find some help at the local hospital. Talking face to face with a crisis worker is going to help.
Sex, its what's on your drivers license.
Gender, its how you feel inside.

DUFF - Designated Unique Feminine Friend.
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#16
Just please be careful, I used to have a extreme temper when i was younger. It would get me into so much unessary trouble...

I know the pain your going through, but its not worth it.

Focus on you, be happy, talk to people that make you happy. it will get all better. Contact the support group, seek counseling. its much better that way Smile
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#17
I discovered my x wife had a romantic relationship with her long time female friend.  When I was at my loneliest I went to a local restaurant I saw them together and they were in Love.  I guess I was not woman enough for her.
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#18
Im doing as well as I can given my current situation. Im eating well enough, im not getting stress induced nausea, and I've stopped crying. I still get that "about to cry" feeling when I think about her too much, but I've learned to keep myself distracted. I've picked up more hours at work and I seem to be functioning quite well there. I also emailed the coordinator for the local LGBTQ group and already received a reply! Apparently they have two meetings each month in the next town over, but I have no transportation. I never was able to afford the process of getting a drivers license. The idea I've come up with is the possibility of taking a cab down there during the first meeting I attend, and then see if I could find someone there I can carpool with from then on. Problem is a cab there would cost $16. Oh well, I guess the initial investment is worth it.

PS: The crisis worker I spoke to at the hospital asked me if I have a female name picked out yet... Now I can't stop thinking about my possible future name haha...

...I think Jennifer is a pretty name.
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#19
(03-11-2016, 07:02 AM)GamerGuy Wrote: Im doing as well as I can given my current situation. Im eating well enough, im not getting stress induced nausea, and I've stopped crying. I still get that "about to cry" feeling when I think about her too much, but I've learned to keep myself distracted. I've picked up more hours at work and I seem to be functioning quite well there. I also emailed the coordinator for the local LGBTQ group and already received a reply! Apparently they have two meetings each month in the next town over, but I have no transportation. I never was able to afford the process of getting a drivers license. The idea I've come up with is the possibility of taking a cab down there during the first meeting I attend, and then see if I could find someone there I can carpool with from then on. Problem is a cab there would cost $16. Oh well, I guess the initial investment is worth it.

PS: The crisis worker I spoke to at the hospital asked me if I have a female name picked out yet... Now I can't stop thinking about my possible future name haha...

               ...I think Jennifer is a pretty name.


Jennifer, is such a sweet name ..love it.

You could always try and send the coordinator for the local LGBTQ group another email, let them know of your transportation limitations, they may be able to see if somebody can pick you up. There are a few people in my support grpup in the same situation, that get picked up. I myself picked up an older lady ( Erla ) for almost a year. Sadly, she had a heart attack  Sad
Sex, its what's on your drivers license.
Gender, its how you feel inside.

DUFF - Designated Unique Feminine Friend.
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#20
hugs I'm glad to hear things have calmed down a bit, and you are keeping yourself busy. I do hope things go well for you at the support group. Hopefully you can find someone to carpool with, and as Jannet said, perhaps emailing them and letting them know your situation you can get a ride from the get go and not have to spend any money.

Jennifer is a lovely name, and if you feel it fits you, then why not? Smile Lovely thing is we can pick the name we feel best suits who we are.
XOXOXO,

Sofia Lauren Bunny
     {Formerly Fire and Ice}
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