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I need a way out
#21
(26-03-2017, 10:59 PM)GamerGuy Wrote: Im glad you have that strength to go on with your life so easily. I've been through so much that it makes a person want to just throw in the whole towel rack and the wall it's stuck to. I appreciate what advice you're giving me, and the time you are taking to give it. But everyone is different and can handle different situations in different ways, or the inability to. What I need more than anything is a paying job so I have the financial ability to get out of the situation. Unfortunately she is not going to let that happen. My meager tax return is gone now too, by her doing. But now my ex has told me that once I get a job she is going to railroad me for all the child support she can despite her having sufficent income already. Fucked if I do, fucked if I don't. Thoughts of just ending it all are coming back to me again. I don't know what to do any more. All my known options end in despair. I try to think of my kids when I get thoughts of suicide but the government believes that money makes a good parent. Why does everything in existence have to depend on this shit. All my problems are multiplied by MONEY.


Sorry to hear things are that bad, Gamer.
It is probably time to talk to a domestic violence shelter. According to the Duluth model, she's a real piece of work. Worse than mine.
While I understand the concern regarding your children, it may be necessary to cut contact for a bit, since even the Ex is part of the problem. I have to wonder what the source of the animosity is? (PM)
As you yourself noted - a father is more than an ATM. The State doesn't see it that way, but if you haven't noticed, Alinsky's rules for Radicals has been employed on this country for longer than the book has existed... For a reason. You cannot change the Seven Deadly Sins and their effects on society, especially if you allow removal of God from the public sphere. (Note that which God, or IF god exists, is irrelevant, it is the external threat of punishment that will keep the cowardly evil in line. Politicians, for example. Not so much highwaymen and thieves and murderers who do it even now, but those who come to think they are a power unto themselves.  E.G., Clinton. Bush. Christie. Bloomberg. Rahm. Etc.)

I'd also suggest you talk to a lawyer, as legally, abandonment has specific legal meaning, and I don't know it. If you have a job opportunity, but must be elsewhere to work? That could likely be dealt with in a legal system.

I'll also tell you, point blank, I'm pretty much ready to jump in front of a train on any given day. I got sidetracked into a stub yard about 10 years back. There are only dead ends...   But I've got tax returns coming soon, so I'm slightly ahead of you, I guess. Life sucks, but there's only one direction to go...
Another question: is it a joint account, does she have her own, does she have access to your account...? In any of those cases, you need to separate your finances, immediately. You might need to endure a lot longer and hide funds, but it can be done. A little at a time, and you build enough to move out and on.
And hold out hope that you can in fact get the Ex to stop being a c_nt...  The state you live in will have certain laws in place. If you're just getting back on your feet, you can likely get some leeway...  And if you don't tell the Ex for a few weeks...  months...  How would she know? Unless she's in league with the new witch?  Always an option.

The less legal options are looking better, BTW. Hacking the car, for example, if you can. I don't like such options, but...  When the system is protecting the criminals, and injuring the innocent? What choice is there?

-Dianna
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#22
She got hold of my tax return becase I had it in my wallet in cash form. I just got out of a joint account with my ex and dont have the money to set up a new one for myself just yet.  Source of animosity? Ex thinks I hid my transgenderism from her when in fact I was struggling to believe it myself, therefore she thinks I lied to her throughout our marriage. As for hiding funds.... I would actually need a source of income first. I'm basically a caged housepet at this stage. I'm a trophy boyfriend to this lady, and she will do whatever it takes to keep me trapped here. There are no shelters in the area for homeless, and none for abused men. There is only one shelter and it is for abused BIOLOGICAL females. I am completely out of options and I am close to giving up on trying. 


And don't even get me started on religion. It is everything that is wrong with this naive world. It's entirely responsible for holding back the human race, and is no more that another money hungry BUSINESS.
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#23
You are obviously involved with a narcissist. There are many youtube videos that help you deal with that and get away. Try checking them out. I have had a history of getting involved with females with this disorder. It's a crazy situation and you deserve better than that. When do you finally do leave the best bet is to completely go no contact. They thrive off of your pain and suffering and are the cause of most of it.

Good luck to you.
Stacie
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#24
Yes, I'm still alive.  figured I'd update since some of you might be wondering. I'm still stuck with the crazy and it's only getting worse over time. I have a job now at least. I do odd jobs for $20 hr. While the pay is great, the work schedule is random. And of course I can't just pocket it all or she would figure it out. I'm able to put away a 20 dollar bill now and then, but I'm still a ways off. 
Today I have an appointment at 10am with the manager of the local WOMENS abuse shelter. While she cannot allow me clearance into the building, she does want a meetup to discuss my options. She will even be giving me my own prepaid emergency phone. Wish me luck!
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#25
(15-05-2017, 08:04 AM)GamerGuy Wrote: Yes, I'm still alive.  figured I'd update since some of you might be wondering. I'm still stuck with the crazy and it's only getting worse over time. I have a job now at least. I do odd jobs for $20 hr. While the pay is great, the work schedule is random. And of course I can't just pocket it all or she would figure it out. I'm able to put away a 20 dollar bill now and then, but I'm still a ways off. 
Today I have an appointment at 10am with the manager of the local WOMENS abuse shelter. While she cannot allow me clearance into the building, she does want a meetup to discuss my options. She will even be giving me my own prepaid emergency phone. Wish me luck!


Hi GG, I have not been on tbe forum too much lately. But OMG, you sure know how to pick them.

Hopefully the women from the homeless shelter will be able to help point you in the right direction.((((((hugs))))))
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#26
Glad you're still alive, Gamer.
Sometimes all you can do is soldier on.  At least things are getting better...
Can you make it a habit of just being "out" for the day? Just out walking, "for your health"?

Then conceal when/if you have jobs on a given day?

Might help to speed things up...  Also can try volunteering, just to get out of the house...  And conceal your schedule.

Mine had a "relapse" of sorts, a pulmonary embolism in each lung, and clots in the leg... We're having fun, too...  ;-)

Still, we just keep going.

BTW, the more you allow her to walk on you, the worse it gets, remember. Look for ways to corral her, do end runs, start gas-lighting...  All is fair in love and war, they say; you're at war. Do what you need to to control her control over you.

-Dianna
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#27
I can't leave the house without her or she loses her shit on me. Unless it's for work, and she has the only working phone so my boss calls her phone to call me in to work. No way to fool her with that.
I have to allow her to walk all over me for the time being, because I would abruptly find myself in hot water if I stood up to her again. Homeless and all my belongings trashed.
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#28
Freedom is just another term for now thing left to lose.  Homelessness may not be the worst option.  Ive been there.  Sometimes its easier when there is nowhere to go but up.  Probably not what youd want to hear, nut it helped me in a similar situation
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