[The First Aria]

Thats great that you have been to a therapist and you know where you are. If you have no desire to dress of to feminize then grow your breasts until you are happy with there size, enjoy them and then go about doing your boy things until you feel the urge to work the boobs. You dont have to go to DD's. Give them a massage once in a while and find a size your comfortable with.
Then you can enjoy both parts of your life. and keep Mr Happy Happy.
Bobbi

Haha that would be delightful, I'm just curious how much of a reality that can be being married. I feel you can only play the idk why i growing boobs card for so long before concern becomes suspicion. Being a woman is not something I identify with at all not even close but having breasts has become what feels a part of me that's missing physically. But the fear of stares and glares and such worry me and being insecure as it is it doesn't help. Any insight in how to quit caring

In the beginning I had the "what am I doing " thoughts.  But now that I've had some good growth my thought process is like yours.   They feel like the part that has been missing my entire life.  I'm currently  a large 38b and would like to be more like a c/d with more fullness on the sides.  I really love that feeling of waking up in the morning, reaching for the alarm and feeling my boob hitting the inside of my bicept.

Some great thoughts from all the above....   

I am going to sit down in the next couple of days and put down about the conversation I had with my wife 2 or 3 weeks ago and the outcome so far......

[breastman59]

I have come to this party late...BUT......I have bought herbals...started taking,throw away with a WTF....bought again,toss again...over and over for the last probably 8 years...have a pretty good case of gyno going on that look more female than male anymore...and like all of you,it just plain feels right that they are there...its like in my head and heart they are supposed to be there, and have been missing....NO interest in transitioning...have gone as far as yesterday trying to find out how to delete this profile...but OHHHHH LOOK...I am still here....tonight have gone as far as looking at on-line pharmacies for do it yourself hrt...thinking I could get a low dose and make this insane noise in me head stop....So still here,still male.....the funny part of this....I am a gay male...now imagine how that would work.....lol.....sometimes there are cruel jokes played on us....right??? Oh and I have bought and tossed more bras than VS has in stock.....I CAN fit into a 40 c......

[The First Aria]

I have come to this party late...BUT......I have bought herbals...started taking,throw away with a WTF....bought again,toss again...over and over for the last probably 8 years...have a pretty good case of gyno going on that look more female than male anymore...and like all of you,it just plain feels right that they are there...its like in my head and heart they are supposed to be there, and have been missing....NO interest in transitioning...have gone as far as yesterday trying to find out how to delete this profile...but OHHHHH LOOK...I am still here....tonight have gone as far as looking at on-line pharmacies for do it yourself hrt...thinking I could get a low dose and make this insane noise in me head stop....So still here,still male.....the funny part of this....I am a gay male...now imagine how that would work.....lol.....sometimes there are cruel jokes played on us....right???  Oh and I have bought and tossed more bras than VS has in stock.....I CAN fit into a 40 c......

Just think about it breastman....  If you were born female, you would be normal, if there is such a condition, you would naturally love men cause you would be cis female.....   What I am trying to say is this....  Perhaps, you were suppose to be female, but the chemistry got screwed up somehow en vitro.   Thus you took on the male characteristics, but your brain was still wired as a female.....    In my case, I could never touch a male sexually, but just love everything feminine.  My point???   My therapist suggested maybe I was meant to be a CIS Lesbian, that my chemistry got screwed up....  it's an interesting way to look at things though, right?  Her reasoning??  Cause I have no desire to fully transition either. That as you, I feel my breasts as being a very natural part of me and have trouble understanding my wife being taken aback for my outlook....

[julieTG]

oooooooooooooh come on Aria

do it now

were all ears

whats gone down ?

x


Julie

[breastman59]

I have come to this party late...BUT......I have bought herbals...started taking,throw away with a WTF....bought again,toss again...over and over for the last probably 8 years...have a pretty good case of gyno going on that look more female than male anymore...and like all of you,it just plain feels right that they are there...its like in my head and heart they are supposed to be there, and have been missing....NO interest in transitioning...have gone as far as yesterday trying to find out how to delete this profile...but OHHHHH LOOK...I am still here....tonight have gone as far as looking at on-line pharmacies for do it yourself hrt...thinking I could get a low dose and make this insane noise in me head stop....So still here,still male.....the funny part of this....I am a gay male...now imagine how that would work.....lol.....sometimes there are cruel jokes played on us....right???  Oh and I have bought and tossed more bras than VS has in stock.....I CAN fit into a 40 c......

Just think about it breastman....  If you were born female, you would be normal, if there is such a condition, you would naturally love men cause you would be cis female.....   What I am trying to say is this....  Perhaps, you were suppose to be female, but the chemistry got screwed up somehow en vitro.   Thus you took on the male characteristics, but your brain was still wired as a female.....    In my case, I could never touch a male sexually, but just love everything feminine.  My point???   My therapist suggested maybe I was meant to be a CIS Lesbian, that my chemistry got screwed up....  it's an interesting way to look at things though, right?  Her reasoning??  Cause I have no desire to fully transition either. That as you, I feel my breasts as being a very natural part of me and have trouble understanding my wife being taken aback for my outlook....

You know....its funny you mention that as my mother once told me I was supposed to be a girl and was a surprise when I showed up...I can remember times back as early as when I was 13 or 14 that I would pray every night that I would go to bed and wake up female/or at least with breasts....sometimes the noise is just deafening...tonight I could wait to get home from work to put on a bra..it just feels right ...

[The First Aria]

Amen....  That's the reason why being medically retired is not all bad.  I can wear what I want, and I totally get the bra thing.  I feel absolutely naked most of the time w/out a bra on.

[johnnyboy7585]

Wow, great topic. I too get that wtf moment. I always end up goin back to pm, or bo. Idk, im like o just alittle more. Ive always wanted to fill a bra with my breats since  my teens. Now im 32  and the feelings gotten worse. So then I turn back to the never ending cycle.

[guy_and_lingerie]

This is a very interesting topic.
About 6 years ago I got into lingerie and discovered that after years of bodybuilding, my pecs filled out some bras. I decided to grow them more into breasts. Using various creams, then oral herbals, massage, pumping, my breasts grew.  They could and can still pass for large pecs.
Eventually, i got a prescription for estrogen and did a few rounds.
I realize that estrogen is off topic here, but the feelings seem to be the same as others. About 60 days into the dosage, I decide that it is probably time to stop and possibly make it the last round. This last time, I was downtown wearing a white Polo shirt and and caught site of myself in a store window. Thought the shirt was not tight, the breasts were bouncing and really showing.
I figures that I had gone far enough and stopped the medication - again saying that it may be the last round.
That was about  month ago, and I can't wait to start another round. I love having breasts and all of the pleasure that they bring!
I too am in therapy, and my therapist suggested that maybe I enjoy the journey of growing breasts more that the actual results to come. I have no intention of transitioning, and don't think I want to have to wear a bra daily (though I do wear at home). Like others, if I keep this up, I will have full breasts that cannot be hidden (I am a 38B now).
To the author of this thread, I hope that conversations with your therapist will help you to discover your reasons for wanting breasts and how far you really want to take this. I along with you and others on here grapple with the constant question as to whether or not we really want the results.
For myself, I am near 65 and reason that a lot of men my age  (and younger), have developed breasts naturally or from various medications, so maybe I won't really stand out that much.

[VergeOfDiscovery]

Re: was wearing a white Polo shirt and caught site of myself in a store window...the breasts were bouncing and really showing

That's awesome! Life's simple pleasures are some of the very best.

[Shirazmn]

I totally agree with guy_and_lingerie!
To me NBE is about the journey, not the destination. I am not transgender and I enjoy my male life (+crossdressing here and there) and I love the idea of growing some breasts. But, while trying to slow down the process for social reasons, I found out that what I love is to experience the feeling of growth, with as much wishful thinking as there may be, rather than picturing myself with a couple of double Ds.
So, if breast growth is like crossdressing, that after many purges I understood I can't get rid of, then this "addiction" will stick to me for a long while. Stopping and restarting many times to make it last.
Weird?
Probably.