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The Fourth area! (Personal Transition)
#1
I`v mentioned a few times that what began as a purely gender based journey of discovery quickly became
about something Much more.
Transition is seen mainly as 3 areas of change, Social, Legal and Medical. Something that I`v not really
come across anywhere in all my reading is about the Fourth area that transition takes place in, it`s
almost never mentioned or talked about, but In My opinion it`s probably the most important, that of
Personal transition.

For many of us, being raised as "male" and socialised as such with all the gaslighting involved and
societal pressures coupled with what would seem irrefutable medical evidence between your legs can (for
a while at least) convince you that you Are what they say, you compensate for what doesn`t come
naturally by copying other males around you, taking on their opinions, mannerisms, demeanor and a whole
host of other intricacies for use a later date to fill in the inevitable gaps that you`ll have in future
encounters. You become a world class Method Actor! Over time you`ll even buy into this crap yourself,
and over time you`ll gradually lose the Real you as well.

After so thoughroughly drinking the kool-aid, it`ll take a Great deal of courage to even start to
ackowledge "the girl within" much less `let her out`! some of you will never get this far, some will,
and for those that do, and start to explore their real Gender identity the journey of transition begins.
For a few, the simple acknowledgement of "Her" will be enough, some may go further and dress en femme to
varying degrees occasionally, others further still and make take medical steps towards their True
identity, be it herbal or pharma, still others will accept nothing less than full physical, social and
legal transition etc... and there will be some that will always be at various degrees from one end to
the other like a pick`n`mix buffet.
Each will have their own level that satisfies their need for Authenticity and as long as they`re being
100% true to themselves and no one else, then it`s ALL good!

The bit you don`t really ever hear about for those that fully transition is "Then What!?".
well for Me, I discovered that after near full transition, Another question arrises, I`v acknowledged
"the girl within" and taken all possible steps to become Her in Real Life as well, and that`s left me
with; So, I`m a girl, now what?
I`v noticed recently that the main question for my self beyond that, is "What Kind of girl am I?".
I`v never seen this spoken about anywhere, but I`m sure that if it happens to me, it must have happened
to others too.

And so, with the same degree of Honesty that brought to me this place, the place beyond accepting I Am a
girl, I must now apply that to `what Kind of girl am I?` what do I REALLY Like and enjoy (not what I`v
been programmed to like by my upbringing), what are my Real fave colors? what do I Really want to wear
(when you get past that stage of "Any womens clothes that fit") ect... This, in my opinion is where the
Real transition happens, when you drop All the crap and become Authentic in Every area of your life, not
just gender.

All those things you adopted to "fill in the gaps", all those `beleifs` and opinions you held because
they were useful in passing as the gender society said you were, litterally Everything in your life has
to be gone through with brutal honesty and in depth with questioning "Do i Really, think/ feel/ beieve
this?". Sometimes you won`t have answers either, and you have to ask yourself "what kind of person do I
WANT to be like?" because there is also truth hidden in our desires even if we have no idea how to
manifest them.

I tell people othen to "Always follow your Heart" and these are Not empty words, it`s the Only way that
I have found that actually 100% works, I know my head will let me down and present all sorts of counter
ideas (mainly fear based) and that this historically has always failed for me, so I tried something New
(and Estrogen has helped me a lot in this area), that following what you really FEEL in your heart of
hearts will be the key to Genuine Happiness, and so far that Hasn`t let me down Ever!

I may add to this later as further realisations and discoveries are made (I hope so!) but for now I`ll
leave it here and hopefully it`ll be of some use to another at some point, if you strip away all the
Trans related stuff, I think it`s generally a good idea all round to do this regularly anyway, a sort of
Personal Maintenace overhaul for Truth and Authenticity as an act of self Love.

Katie xx
 Reply
#2
Love the way your mind works Katie!
Really well thought out and presented.
I'll comment more later.
Bobbi
 Reply
#3
Phew DEEP
X
Julie
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