[julieTG]

If you read the evanesce site as I have for about 10 years you may conclude that "slow is best", that is the way the formulations are made,

Evem PM can be too damn quick for some

Hence many formulations are there so you can take

"baby steps" then settle on a mid level

However they concentrate on lowering T then gentle etsrogen input ,

Julie

[julieTG]

Actually very good point from Isabelle there

My aim is not to be a woman , but feel more like a womand and be more womanly ?

There is a difference,

Yes feeling "very happ" and looking out for that pm trap ?

Experiences anyone ?

Julie

[chrissie]

There seems to be some serious conflict here. My advice, about taking PM, is be sure, that you want to femanise your body, because it will. That said, the lower your T levels, the better. However, if you ingest enough PM, to make changes, don't bank on all of them going away, should you stop. I set out with a clear goal; to femanise my body, to a point, where my only choice was to live as me; female. In this, my wildest dreams have been exceeded, and I am a profoundly happy person. To consider mixing the dreaded T, with PM, revealls a conflict and that seriously needs to be addressed, before inflicting major grief, on yourself. If you decide to try PM, forget the T and tune in to how you feel; then you will know, if oestrogen, should be your governing hormone. This will happen in around 4 months, in my experience. My gut reaction is, do not play, you will only conflict yourself and that can lead to horrible problems. Only take PM, it you truly feel you want to femanise. You are right, this needs serious thought., and soul searching. Good luck in your navel gazing!

[karen]

For all those that replied .....

I did some "REAL INFORMATIVE" reading on http://myevanesce.com/

Specifically .....

"Excessive testosterone levels can even cause born-males to want to be female at times, or fantasize about being feminine some day, then flip-flop to feeling like a born-male “normal” on other days. It’s a swinging pendulum that scrambles the functioning of your brain cells and can make you question your sanity."

That was enough to get me thinking and "SLAMMING ON THE BRAKES"

Very good chance that the feelings that I am having of late are due to the sudden increase in my testosterone level due to testim and my body don't know what to do with it yet.

So for now ..... nothing is going into the bod until I sort this out.

I sincerely thank you ALL for giving me enough info and questions to make me think. julieTG .... a special thanks goes out to you. Lots of great info on "myevanesce.com" .... I suggest that anyone that hasn't been to that site do so ..... allot of great explanations that my help clear up any questions that you may have .... if you have any that is

Karen

Hi chrissie,

Did you miss this post of mine .... especially the "Slamming on the Brakes" part ..... and the "nothing is going into the bod until I sort this out" .... not sure where the conflict is.

Hugs .... Karen

[chrissie]

I was left in doubt, by that web site and people, like that. By persuing their own agendas, they can cause huge harm. My life has been detramentaly influenced and shaped, by the deliberate misinformation, coming out of Charring Cross, in the 60's & 70's and it condemned me to a life of low grade depression. Listen to your inner voice. Visit Proffessor Lynn Conway's site, if you want to see the upside of transsexualism and avoid those with their own crazy agendas. I knew I was in the wrong body, as a young child, as do all transsexuals: QED nothing to do with tostestarone.
Above all, look deep into your own soul, without the influence of others, setting agenads and crackpot theories; the Charring Cross agenda came from a doctor, trying to suppress his own transsexualism :- BASTARD!

[karen]

Hi again Chrissie,

Thanks for worrying about me .... you're very kind.

I'm a very strong person .... I tend to sway others rather than them swaying me. Probably the thing that I do the most is overthink everything. I've been posting pretty much every little thought that crosses my mind. I've been doing reading here BUT I've been doing LOTS of reading elsewhere.

Sometimes I read something that when I think about my own situation ... like the fact that I never had any desires to be a woman at an early age ..... that I've played with cross dressing a few times over the years never really committing to it .... and now that I have started HPT all of a sudden these feelings start to get stronger it makes me wonder. I haven't either said that "its only the testim talking" or that "finally my inner feelings are coming out" ... but it sure has me digging deeper and getting more informed .... analysing feelings that I am having while looking at whats going on in my life.

Honestly I haven't ruled out "experiencing it a little" and I DO HEED your warning of not "playing" with PM .... at the same time, even when I dig deep and try to listen to my inner self it doesn't say "I want to be a woman" .... I'd love to be able to go back and forth at will for awhile .... see what it's like on either side .... maybe then I would want one side more than the other .... or maybe I'd like to keep being able to be both ....

If I should decide to do anything it wll be very slowly .... and I will cut back on the testim slowly while doing so so that I don't have two things fighting each other.

Thanks

Great BIG Hugs .... Karen

[julieTG]

Karen,

Its very good you are analysing this and do not be concerned about overthinking,

If you study the evanesce site you will see many in your same position, ie same as mine,

The t dampers such as andro ease dampen t down whichg gives you time too evaluate , you do not have too feminise ?

PM is rocket fuel , it feminises, period , full stop,

Last 2 weeks my moobs have now turned too feminine "boobs" all pointy , after 3 months on PM, incredible stuff,

I HAVE HAD MORE GROWTH THAN SOMEONE I KNOW WHO STARTED SYNTHETICS AT SAME TIME

Julie

[karen]

Hi Julie,

What I am trying to do before anything else is get a handle on this Testosterone thing. So far I feel reasonably sure that if I use more Testim my feelings about "being" a women grow stronger. The days that I used a "little extra" from a second tube (using 1 tube puts me in the 700+ range) I feel very much more "driven" to make a change. I have the luxury to be able to adjust my T levels pretty much at will.

I haven't started to use less that 1 tube a day yet ... that's the next step. At 1 tube each day there are times that "changing" feels strong and times that it's non-existant .... sorta like I'm right on the "edge".

It's kinda like a double edged sword .... I'm enjoying the feelings. For certain my labido is "high" .... I'm 64 years old and most mornings I wake at attention .... nice feeling .... this is something that the wife may grow to love as much as me.

I haven't discussed the "female" side of it with her yet. Last night I was reading an article of T Levels .... she came downstairs to where I am on my computer .... I've been looking at womens clothing lately so "google" is displaying "high heel" ads across the bottom of the screen .... she says, in a firm voice, "What are you looking at High Heels for?" .... I blew it off .... said "I'm reading an article about T Levels .... I don't control what ads are shown or my computer" .... yeah I chickened out .... not ready for that "discussion" yet.

Talk to everyone later ....

Hugs ... Karen

[karen]

An experiment ..... I used 1 1/3 tubes of Testim today. I'll pay close attention to how I feel today .... even keep a journal. That will likely put my "Total T" up to around 950. My "natural" total levels are around 175-225.

Hopefully I won't be stopping on the way home from work to buy High Heel Sandals and a mini-dress.

Or maybe Hopefully I will

Hugs .... Karen

[julieTG]

oh yeah
its a big conversation, but whatever you do ,

DO NOT LIE TO HER OR TAKE HORMONES BEHIND HER BACK,

Do all the research and the calmly say Darling there something vrey important to discuss,

I had about 48 points on my list to make my point, did not need them,

She was upset that I had been in torture,

Assure her that nothing much will change, just in bderoom, ie breasts are not for outside consumption,

See sfem , she has a good handle on things,

Like sfem, I do not like being the centre of attention so going outside in a dress simply is not going too happen,

Also by lowering T levels and not feminising , your urge to dress and change may drop ???




Julie