[Alexis]

Hi guys. so i've been experimenting with plant hormones since the end of 09. starting with rd,fg and some sp. then about a year later i tried PM once then went back on to hops. then i switched to PM again and now im on hops once again. i never was on PM for longer then 2 months. so by now out of all of the things i've tired i've been on hops the longest. let me just say the hops make me feel complete. at first i didn't take much maybe only 600 mg. but this past summer i was taking about 1500 almost everyday. summer seasons is when i think i needed the most. now that it cooled down i lowered my does to about 800 mg a day which is lower than what i usually take and i felt like it wasn't enough to satisfy my full mental capacity. this stuff wakes me up from the sleep i was in for the past 23 years. and i don't think i can stop because there is no reason to and the reason why it has such an impact on me is because i now realize after about a year how much i really depend on estrogen to feel and think like a normal human. I haven't got too much breast growth. just bigger aerolas and smotther skin plus my hips and bum are more defined and i don't want to loose what i got. without estrogen i'm up to no good. with this stuff in my system i have a better peripheral thinking, because i have photographic memory i often view where thoughts connect to where and why and with the aid of estrogen i can see those thoughts from farther away. simple things that didn't make sense before, make sense now. it also makes me feel like i am connected to myself. But even if i stop for more than 2 days i lose all of those simple mental abilities that everybody else has unless im on a break which is usually because i have enough of it in my system which usually lastst for the duration of my break. I call it "riding the wave" and when the wave crashes and i have no more E in my system, i go back on it.
another interesting thing happens after I stop a while is that i crave having boobs and a female body even more than i did before i started hops.

does anybody else feels the same way?
any feedback is appreciated

[Pansy-Mae]

But even if i stop for more than 2 days i lose all of those simple mental abilities that everybody else has unless im on a break which is usually because i have enough of it in my system which usually lastst for the duration of my break. I call it "riding the wave" and when the wave crashes and i have no more E in my system, i go back on it.
another interesting thing happens after I stop a while is that i crave having boobs and a female body even more than i did before i started hops.

does anybody else feels the same way?
any feedback is appreciated

Hi Alexis,
I can't personally relate to the mental stuff because it has never affected me in that way at all, although I know a lot of people do get mental effects.
However a feeling of, "Why am I doing this? I'm gonna stop" after taking a high-ish dose for a while, followed by a craving to get back on it after only a short abstinence is well known and very common, and I've certainly had that one! It is thought to possibly be a derivative of a maternal hormone imbalance when we were in the womb which may be the root cause of the need to CD/grow boobs.
We've discussed this subject several times ( most recently last week ), if you look around.

[flamesabers]

does anybody else feels the same way?
any feedback is appreciated

I haven't done much tinkering around with starting and stopping my pm dosage. Something I have noted is I increased my pm dosage from 2,000 mg to 2,500 mg (after previously taking 3,000 mg) because I felt like I was losing the mental effects after cutting back to 2,000 mg. Maybe it's because of my lack of tinkering, but besides my sex drive and crossdressing urges, it's hard for me to state in definitive terms the ways pm has improved my mental capacities. I've always been a private person anyway, so maybe that's way none of my family has commented about noticing anything different with me.