[Misty0732]

Huh, that's interesting. Those feeling have never gone away for me despite all that I take. My wife and I went shopping Friday evening looking for clothes that express my feminine side ie. male section but with female flare or female section but tom boyish. I came home depressed, full of envy of the female physique, the wide array of clothing they get to choose from and the fact that I'll probably never be able to look even "pretty good" compared to genetic females. It's always been that way for me and I'm afraid no amount of PM, spearmint, SP or pharma estrogen will overpower that.

Hi Kari,

You seem to be further down the TG scale than I am. PM removes the GD completely, at least as long as I don't take too much. If I overdo the dose than the GD ramps up considerably.

I know that you, like me, have a family and full transition isn't an easy option. For me I can say that's OK, but your path may be different.

I also know you are a person of faith (the same faith as me). I will remember you in my prayers.

Be strong, and know that you can always count on me (and others in this forum) to be an understanding ear for you in world that doesn't yet "get" any of this...

Misty

[Samantha Rogers]

Kari,
I feel for you, honey. One thing that I have realized from meeting a lot of girls recently, both online and in person, is that for every one that is able to look passable or even beautiful, there are many more who will never approach either. But still, the attempts they make, no matter how small, do help to bring some level of inner peace. And the support of other girls is also huge in this area. You might want to check out crossdressers.com. Karren, Heather, Clara and myself are all over there, and there are a lot of great supportive wonderful people there as well. It has helped me a lot. They do have a lot of rules to keep everything harmonious but you can live with that pretty easily. If nothing else, it provides a new and much larger support group than we can here at dear BN. Let me know what you think. If you do join, I will be happy to be your first friend...tee hee. Either way, be assured that you are not alone in regretting your own physical attributes. We all feel that way...lol.

[GoneGirl]

Kari dear,
I have very little idea what you look like, but knowing you're a bio-male with years of testosterone-induced male secondary characteristics, you will probably never look like the GG of your dreams. But, have you ever made an attempt to appear feminine with a total do over? It's amazing how much your male persona fades into the background when you xdress to the nines. And you, being as young as you are, will be far more successful at it than I. It's very satisfying for me to feel feminine even if I'm not fooling anyone, and unless or until I step outside my home, what does it matter? I predict that you'll never be satisfied with just dressing in colorful male clothing, growing your hair, and wearing an earring or two. Go ahead and do that, but it won't compare to experience of femming up occasionally once your initial reluctance is overcome. I wish I had had the chance to be my feminine self when I was still in my thirties.

Clara

[Marina Kits]

Flamesabers, Misty, Sammie,
Thanks for the encouragement. My spirits have been high the last few days but your kind words are still appreciated. The whole gender envy issue I've described is something I'm learning to live with. There are certain things I do that really exacerbate the problem like shopping or attending public events. I just need to be prepared for what will follow when I do those things.

I think I'm already a member at crossdressers but I have apparently forgot my username and or password as I can't log in. I'm not sure I need another place to spend more time online anyway but thanks for mentioning it.

...Thanks especially for the prayers Misty. Whew, life can be tough at most of the times [typo is intended]. Sometimes I just look at my GID with a spitfire attitude, roll up my sleeves and say, "bring it you SOB!" I didn't pick this fight but be danged if it's going to get the best of me. Other times I feel beat down by it but it's then that I'm reminded who loves me and with that, I know I'll make it yet another day. And I'd be remiss if I forgot to say thanks to all of you, past and present, who have encouraged me over the last 13 months. You help keep me going as well. Thank you.

EDIT

You too Clara! (We must have been typing at the same time). I do do a full up once in a while at home and lately, even a couple times with my wife but I don't have any place to go that can do a really good job on me. I'm not that good with makeup yet, have no wig because I decided to grow my own and have a limited selection of clothes that fit me well. I know what you're saying but I'm still applying the brakes a little because if I don't, I'm afraid of what it will lead to. As Misty said, I might be a little farther over on the TG spectrum already and the carnage from a full transition would be too much for me and those I love.

[spanky (aka Lola)]

Flamesabres -

I've lost track of your current program. Have you begun to warm the turkey yet?

I am going on a prolonged break from PM (started on May 1). My reasons are both a desire to be stronger physically and to address some doubt that has been creeping up on me. Also, I will be spending a fair amount of time working in rural areas of a Central American country and know that to the people I work with there I already seem quite strange, even without, em, more pronounced physical features.

[flamesabers]

Spanky,

I started taking NBE herbs again in the middle of April. I'm still taking a low dose of pm, no spearmint and I've added blessed thistle to my program.

Here's a link to my regime for all the details:

http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=14784&page=2

[Misty0732]

I have resumed PM (1500mg/day... one in the morning, one at noon, and one before bed). I'm not taking any other NBE herb at present.

I started back on May 1 (after taking the month of April off).

Misty

[GoneGirl]

I have resumed PM (1500mg/day... one in the morning, one at noon, and one before bed). I'm not taking any other NBE herb at present.

I started back on May 1 (after taking the month of April off).

Misty

I'm also on 1500 mg after a month off everything. But I also started taking 5 mg of finasteride every morning to combat DHT. My head hair is regrowing faster now which is a welcome development.

Clara