I'm really sorry to hear that Janet. I don't know what to say other than my heart goes out to you and your wife. ...So sad to see relationships broken over this.

Thanks Kari, your thoughts are heartfelt. We are still making progress. The best thing in all of this, I am no longer alone. Saying that, I would not wish this pain on anybody.

Well .... I had a session with a therapist today, I think I'm left with more questions than answers. By the end of the session she is telling me to be true to myself I should think seriously about transitioning, that is the only way I will be truly happy. Most marrages will fail sooner or later with the information I have given my wife. I feel more depressed after seeing this women than I was before. She is going to hand my case off to somebody else, I hope the second therapist is more help. Sigh!!

Well .... I had a session with a therapist today, I think I'm left with more questions than answers. By the end of the session she is telling me to be true to myself I should think seriously about transitioning, that is the only way I will be truly happy. Most marrages will fail sooner or later with the information I have given my wife. I feel more depressed after seeing this women than I was before. She is going to hand my case off to somebody else, I hope the second therapist is more help. Sigh!!

Janet, I truly feel for you. It is no fun to have a therapist that has you leaving, feeling worse than when you went in. I myself have experienced this and I dropped her like a live grenade. I do hope that your next therapist will click with you much better.

Erin

Well .... I had a session with a therapist today, I think I'm left with more questions than answers. By the end of the session she is telling me to be true to myself I should think seriously about transitioning, that is the only way I will be truly happy. Most marrages will fail sooner or later with the information I have given my wife. I feel more depressed after seeing this women than I was before. She is going to hand my case off to somebody else, I hope the second therapist is more help. Sigh!!

Wow, that's amazing Janet. Diagnosed in one appointment and sent on your way. Did she give you a letter to have SRS too? I'm being sarcastic. I think it's more complicated than that and advising you to seek transition after one visit sounds unprofessional to say the least, especially having not visited with your wife. I guess I know less than your therapist but geez, that's jumping to conclusions rather quickly. How do YOU feel? About transitioning? About your marriage? I hope to encourage you by saying that there might be a compromise out there that's worth searching for. The dust hasn't even settled from the conversation with your wife yet. Is she calming down or getting more emotional about it? If the former, perhaps she just needs a lot of time to absorb and process everything and will eventually come to a peace with it assuming certain conditions are met. For me, my wife will stay with me willingly as long as I can, and continue to pass as her husband. I can live with that as long as I can take the herbs / hormones that calm me down, wear my hair long and dress a little androgeneously. I NEVER would have guessed she'd go that far. We are both VERY conservative and faithful Christians. We've been taught all our lives that problems like mine can and need to be corrected or my soul will surely be destined for hell. We've both held strong beliefs that one man, one woman, two kids and a home in the suburbs is the only right way to live right. That's a big ship to turn around but it's happening for me so it's at least possible for you too. Have you considered a marriage counselor to help you get over this hump [mountain]? One that would start on the premise of helping you stay together and find compromises where both of you can find peace? Maybe you think your relationship isn't worth the effort, I don't know, but I can tell you mine is getting stronger partly BECAUSE of my gender issues. I am more vulnerable and sensitive than ever before and, while she wishes it could be caused by something else, it's still a win in her column. Another thing we started doing is going for walks together. The lack of distractions and the fact that you'll get winded if you walk and talk too long has helped our communication immensely. Eventually you have to shut up and listen for a while until you catch your breath. I'm not saying it's easy or that it happens all the time but marriages CAN survive this. ...If there's ANYTHING I can do to help Janet, please let me know.

Thanks Kari . sometimes having somebody else's input helps put things into a clearer perspective.

Does anyone know of another site were people like ourselves talk and communicate, a site were my wife could see other people are having similar problems and issues and maybe find more support. ?

Thanks Kari . sometimes having somebody else's input helps put things into a clearer perspective.

Does anyone know of another site were people like ourselves talk and communicate, a site were my wife could see other people are having similar problems and issues and maybe find more support. ?

I understand that crossdressers.com is such a site, including a wives and SOs section with facilities for private discussion, but I am still awaiting the opportunity to check it out more thoroughly.

I can also go along with pretty much everything that Kari says, except for us our religious beliefs are compromised, my hair is gone long beyond the point of no return, and our walks are not the same since the dog died. Giving each other the very best opportunity to exchange views is very important. My own DW yesterday had her first meeting with a counselor about her own problems with my GI and thought she was good, though not yet giving any actual advice - she has another appointment later this month.

I'm sorry your therapist was a dud Janet. It makes me appreciate mine all the more. I don't think she's ever told me what I should do lol, even when I ask. It's always geared towards what I want out of life, as it should be.

That therapist is doing you a favor by handing you off. Don't take anything she said that seriously, please. You are the one in control of your own life (mostly).

Janet not sure if this is any help but i came across it whilst looking at the links on another site http://significantotherpa.org/