I've begun my regiment of PM again (but without the SP), but something is going on this time. Twice today I have had these sudden, horrible instances of intense depression. Like I suddenly just want to cry and I feel sad. So bad, that if I didn't have kids (one who was insistent the weekend on her not wanting me to die) then I may very well have done something to hurt myself. Suddenly all these thoughts about moving forward are long gone, and I just don't know what to do. Eventually it eases up, and I feel like I want to move forward again.

Is this at least somewhat normal? I just get thinking about debt, and my divorce, and how I feel like such a horrible person for putting my kids through all this stuff. I'm not sure what to do.

If something is making you feel bad, ease off of it, its not worth your mental health. Just move forward, and focus on what you can do. It's probably not your fault for the kids dealing through a divorce, things happen, and some turbulence is unavoidable.

Carys,

There's an entire thread that may help you in the FAQ section:

http://breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=19959

I hope you're doing better today. Please PM/post to reach out for support from us, ok?

Michelle

I've had some down days where I feel like shit and even cried (not suicidal though) and some days where I feel really light and happy. There's certainly a lot more variability in my mood than before NBE. In fact today I was reading a quite depressing news article and my eyes were welling up. That never happened before - ever! I have years of repressed feelings and stuff that have been expressed recently...

Personally just sounds like a panic attack that could happen regardless of the PM, but I'm no medical professional. If it continues I would seek a doctor's opinion.

It could have been my anxiety getting the best of me. I did back off the PM doses a bit to see if anything would stabilize, and it helped a little. I was just thinking that maybe once I had some more E in me that I began to actually have emotions which can be good and bad.

It's almost like I'm afraid to keep pursuing becoming more feminine because I will begin to feel more emotion. With everything that is going on right now, I don't know how to manage and deal with them all, as I have always bottled them up most of my life.

But then... I wonder what it would be like to find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.

It goes all the way to the other side as far as modern medicine can take you

Is it "normal"??? Well you might find you can keep "her" bottled up for now but eventually whether the time is right or not SHE might not give a choice.... You might keep that in mind while your still on the fence and plan accordingly