[Fasttrack]

Hi everyone, I've been a lurker for the better part of a year, and have been fascinated, intrigued, and interested in having a pair of breasts for the better part of a decade or so.

I decided a few months ago to start to try growing them by using binaurals, as I wanted to avoid herbs, and drugs if possible. I think I've actually started getting some success, with my chest feeling rather soft, squishy and grabbable right now (no buds), and my skin softer than ever, which has been amazing.

That said, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I really don't think my heart is set out on this. My dick is, but it's not who I am. I've recognized that the entire time I've been listening to binaurals, that I've been doing it for the sexual thrill, and not because I feel my life wouldn't be complete without a pair of breasts. I felt the area under my nipples ache tonight after listening to two different estrogen binaurals simultaneously, which seemed to have an incredibly strong effect, leading to skin softness, etc. within just a few hours of stopping, and after an hour of listening. I ended up doing this (mostly without estrogen) for about a month, off 3 weeks, then on for the past 10 days.

I'm not sure if the growth I've had will ever go away...which I'm sure depends if it's just fat, or if there's some glandular tissue there too (not that I'm aware of...). I'm sure the fat will probably get redistributed across the rest of my body after a few months of stopping and letting my body's chemistry normalize itself again.

I guess what I'm asking, is for some help and advice in accepting myself for being a male, while simultaneously eliminating the desire to pick up a pair of headphones (which is all too easily accessible) and listen to binaurals nearly every time I get myself off.

I love the way women look, jealous of their ability to have multiple orgasms, etc. and keep imagining being like them...but I'm not. I recognize that, and I'd appreciate any advice everyone here has.

I hope I haven't offended anyone here, as that is most certainly not my intent, and apologize if that was indeed the case. I just feel that I need to talk and say something before I do actually get irreversible gains that I'd need to accept (since I'm not getting surgery for anything other than critical emergencies...and cosmetic things, aren't in my opinion, critical)

I've already tried thinking about how having a pair of breasts would hurt my career, make things awkward around friends and family, and the risk of breast cancer, etc. However, when I get turned on, logic flies out the window, and I ignore those very things.

Thank you for your time, advice, and of course, your understanding.

[flamesabers]

Hello Fasttrack.

Maybe getting a pair of breast forms would satisfy your desire to have breasts? You could have them readily accessible whenever you're aroused, and they're probably the best way to fulfill your fantasies short of actually growing your own pair of breasts. Another alternative I suppose is taking a herbal anti-androgen to taper your libidio somewhat so that logic doesn't entirely fly out the window the next time you get aroused.

[Fasttrack]

Thanks for the reply Flamesabers. Personally, I just really want to avoid purposely taking things which alter my brain chemistry. That said, I do need to figure out a way to control my libido in a way that either satisfies my desires, or reduces it enough that it doesn't lead me down the same path. As for breast forms, I looked at those the other day, and $1000-1500 is way too much! And the primary drive isn't just the look, but the sensitivity, which would be completely missing with forms.

[jannet.duff]

Thanks for the reply Flamesabers. Personally, I just really want to avoid purposely taking things which alter my brain chemistry. That said, I do need to figure out a way to control my libido in a way that either satisfies my desires, or reduces it enough that it doesn't lead me down the same path. As for breast forms, I looked at those the other day, and $1000-1500 is way too much! And the primary drive isn't just the look, but the sensitivity, which would be completely missing with forms.

It would seem this maybe a common issue. You don't say how old you are or whether or not you have children in the mix but many of us go through the same feelings. Those feelings may never go away, and may even get stronger as time goes on. As younger males we get used to the breast and sexual desire loop. Those feelings may possibly end up growing into TG feelings down the road. Or not. Maybe try a very low amount of PM for a few weeks, see if it helps those feelings. A low dose hopefully will not give you any breast growth, but may help calm your desires.

BTW, I was able to pick up some nice "B" breast forms from Ali express for under $50.

[GoneGirl]

Hi Fast,
Yours is a common problem among TG guys. It was for me. It got so bad that I had to do something. PM was the answer for me. It shifted my sex hormone balance and cleared my mind very effectively.

I, too, was convinced that my gender identity was primarily male, although I wanted breasts and fantasized about being female. I realize now that it was a way to cope with my GD. The PM got rid of those symptoms.

The effect was welcome, so I kept taking the PM even as my breasts started to grow. I became frightened about that, not knowing how it would affect my marriage and my life in general, but the mental peace I achieved on PM was just too good to give up. I stopped taking the PM for short periods, but my GD symptoms and behaviors returned. I couldn't wait to get back on PM for relief.

My sex life as a man was never that great, and on PM it disappeared altogether. That, too, was a concern, but my DW was happy with my being so much more relaxed and happy on PM that she was okay with me continuing to take it.

As time went on I started to identify more and more as a woman. I speculate that the higher estrogen concentration in my system started to activate parts of my brain that were intrinsically female. My sense of being male slowly faded with each passing week.

Eventually, I had to face the fact that I wanted to be female more than I wanted to be male. The prospect of going off PM, and later synthetic estrogen, was repulsive to me. I couldn't find the elusive 'middle ground' that was so appealing on a conscious level. I wanted to keep moving forward.

Today, I am out as a transwoman to my family, relatives, and friends. It's where I feel most comfortable and happy. It is my true self. I'm still working on integrating my new identity into the world at large, but it has not been particularly difficult for me. People today are more tolerant of transgenders so most of my fears of rejection and discrimination were overblown. The world is waking up to transgender people at last.

This is just my story. There are thousands of stories that take a different course. Yours will be different still. I do think it would be useful to try a 1000 mg of PM for a few months to see if shifting your sex hormone balance a little would help. Good luck to you.

Clara

[MissC]

I guess what I'm asking, is for some help and advice in accepting myself for being a male, while simultaneously eliminating the desire to pick up a pair of headphones (which is all too easily accessible) and listen to binaurals nearly every time I get myself off.

Ultimately, the answer to your question lies within you, and the only one who can do this for you, is you.

There are those on this forum who would be quick to inform you that you're incurable, and that you may as well start saving enough money to buy a house, and use it to book a flight to Thailand. I don't buy into that. I don't believe that we are all just the proverbial chip in a millrace -- an opinion that hasn't made me very popular here. (Or many other places, for that matter. Personal responsibility is a thing often feared, I think.)

You have already learned, I trust, that you can "hack" your brain. You are by now aware that your mind is susceptible to suggestion so long as you wish it to be, and that binaurals offer you a sort of "programming tool". I have had some experience with this tool myself -- not for breast growth, but for achieving deep meditative states.

Thus, the first possible solution that comes to mind... is to change the things you're suggesting to yourself. Ask your conscious mind what it is you want to get out of life, really, and look for ways to achieve that. You already know you can make yourself do it.

What you are ultimately seeking, I can't tell you... but for now, seek to learn the power of meditation. How you approach it is up to you. It could be Zen Buddhism, New-Agey mumbo-jumbo, or whatever -- it's all the same mechanism, available to you in whichever jargon you prefer. The mind controls the body, so when you learn to control the mind, the body follows. What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.

A man can go on blindly stumbling down the path of life... but meditation gives him binoculars and a motorcycle.

You state that you do not desire to use any substances to get there. That's fine... it's just harder that way. Much harder. It's difficult to alter your consciousness deliberately, or know it when you get there, until you have experienced it (altered consciousness) somehow.

So, my message to you then: you can do whatever you want to. You are your own motivator, and your own obstacle.

I've already tried thinking about how having a pair of breasts would hurt my career, make things awkward around friends and family, and the risk of breast cancer, etc.

Except, well, that's just not true.

Unless you have a career in bare-chested male modeling, there are no job-related repercussions. Plenty of fat men have boobs, unintentionally.

Your real friends will never be bothered.

Breast cancer, maybe... but that's related to your overall health, diet, and lifestyle, and goes the same for any cancers. Cancer is a metabolic disease, so outside of certain occupational or environmental hazards, it's mostly preventable.

Here's the problem with your statement, though: you're trying to tell yourself what you don't want. That never works, long-term. You can't self-motivate through fear to overcome desire. Desire is much more powerful. You must build desire for what you do want.

[flamesabers]

Thanks for the reply Flamesabers. Personally, I just really want to avoid purposely taking things which alter my brain chemistry. That said, I do need to figure out a way to control my libido in a way that either satisfies my desires, or reduces it enough that it doesn't lead me down the same path. As for breast forms, I looked at those the other day, and $1000-1500 is way too much! And the primary drive isn't just the look, but the sensitivity, which would be completely missing with forms.

Perhaps altering your brain chemistry isn't such a bad thing if it helps you to achieve your aims?

I think you can get a decent set of breast forms for under $200.

Here's the problem with your statement, though: you're trying to tell yourself what you don't want. That never works, long-term. You can't self-motivate through fear to overcome desire. Desire is much more powerful. You must build desire for what you do want.

I agree.

[WantAPair]

WOW!! Where are you getting YOUR breast forms??? $1000 to $1500??? I've never heard of such a thing! For a very realistic looking pair, $750.00 is all you need!! But, most forms I've ever seen or bought are between $35 and $100! A German company called, Special-Trade sells them for about $80.00 a pair. The owners name is, Inka, and she's very nice to deal with. Although they don't look EXPRESSLY real, naked, but they look and feel GREAT under clothes!! And, at least they last a LONG time!! A good 3 to 5 years, so far!! I bought a set of Curves when they first came out and they were $100.00 ON SALE!! They started falling apart after almost a year!! Next, I bought a pair of cheap ones for $35.00 and they lasted a few months longer than the Curves!!

[Sofia Bunny]

Hello and welcome. It sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, and are in need of finding a balance between the two. There is no right or wrong answer, but unfortunately many of us fall victim to what society has deemed normal. Yet all of our lives we hear that we are all unique and individual creatures. How can we all be unique and individual when one is deemed not normal because one chooses a path that falls outside of "normality".

I know I have read on here other herbs to take in addition to PM to help maintain your libido. At the moment I cannot recall exactly what it is. This can help you to achieve your breast growth, and maintain your sexual drive. As for the brain rewiring, it is my understanding that PM does not affect everyone in the same manner.

Personally I have not noticed too much difference as far as the wiring of my brain. Granted I have only been on PM for a little over two weeks and I am currently only doing 1000 mg. In another two weeks I will add another 500 mg, and in six weeks I will add the last 500 mg to be at 2000. I am also trying the PM cream too. I guess we'll see what effects this will have on my brain activity.

I have been also been on NatureDay cream, pills and liquid for a little over 2 months as well. Which reminds me, in my quest for reviewing ND, I came across someones personal blog in which they tested to see if the ND cream actually works. Apparently they were seeking breast growth and wanting to minimize altering their hormonal balance, and reduced libido etc. Anyways they documented their progress and had positive results. You can read about their progress here: http://doesnaturedaywork.blogspot.com/20...reday.html

If you really want to avoid the path of having your own breasts, it really sounds like you're going to have a difficult time since you seem to rather enjoy that idea. Perhaps other forms of breast manipulation will give you that happy medium. You could try and see if suction devices will meet those desires.

If you're not able to find a happy middle ground, it will probably be difficult to feel whole. You'll be in constant struggle with yourself and believe me that is not a fun place to be. I hope you're able to find what you are looking for.