[Dianna1395]

This started as an extended answer to Iaboy's poll, "Do you live in a female-dominated household?"



If I let her, she would sit on the couch and watch TV, or do her crafts, and pretty much have me do all the domestic chores.
And if I don't do them, a lot of things don't get done.

And as an interesting foundation: She wanted to take over the finances some time back (Years now.) [they're now a disaster, AGAIN, I won't detail it.]
I mention the finances because that's traditionally masculine...
And when I did the housework the other weekend, she was all over me that night...

Sounds like I was a good wife, except... I'm not submissive, and NOT a wife. And I don't get turned on by an aggressive sexuality.

Basically, it seems to me, that I'm trying to act like an adult. An adult manages their money, cleans up after themselves, cooks, washes clothes, etc. And is entitled to pursue happiness as they define it, provided it doesn't harm anyone else. (Allowing for the fact that people change, and sometimes it's unpreventable.)

So for me, I have a wanna-be husband (E.G.: Wanna-be because when she3's tired, it's time to go home and nap the baby. If we're in Store X getting things, and Store Y across the street is next stop, and it's a half-hour drive to get back - if she's tired after Store X, we're not going to Store Y, because Baby is Tired, and would rather go home and come back than just complete the f*cking mission.)

Wanna-be because her financial management put us in overextended financial state - AND IS DOING SO AGAIN - and she can't see it or work around it.
Wanna-be because the ONE person she MUST control to be an adult, is herself - and that's the ONE person/thing she WILL NOT control.
Wanna-be because rather than taking responsibility for all that happens, she wants everyone ELSE to be responsible, and she just issues orders. She's the BOSS, if you'll allow her to get away with it.

So I've got the "best" of both married and single life.
I do the dishes, the laundry, the cooking ("help" if not do it all), and she gets control of the remote, my paycheck (which continually vanishes), and the trash, and I put away the laundry, too... So all the "benefits" of being single....
And then, I need to entertain her, too - and cuddle, and be honest with her (I lie like a rug - see above), and I should be complementing her, and tell her how wonderful she is, and support all her ideas (card making and scrapbooking; guess which of us can design, and which one takes others' designs?) ... And who had to go begging the parents for assistance when I lost my job and had no money left to pay for heat in winter?

Female-dominated, no. But she is DOMINEERING as all hell.

And she complains about intimacy... A TMI, so up to you if you read or skip to the "++++" below...
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So, if a man wakes up with his little friend awake and ready to go....
And you start playing with him....
And next thing you know, he's hiding inside the man's body...
Is the problem the man's hardware...? Or the individual playing with him...?
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++++++++++++

Maybe I'm off base with the meanings; I believe if you're going to be Dominant, you need to be DOMINANT. In Control of self and situation. Not necessarily in control of others. In fact, you CANNOT control others; you can only intimidate them or lead them and deal with the noise that results, good or bad.
If you try intimidation, you're not a leader. Just a bully.

A woman will leave such a man; can we do any differently?

And if you're "doing everything," are you then babysitting the other?

In my (limited) experience, 50/50 doesn't work; you need a leader and a follower, a dominant member of the partnership, and a submissive one. And if one member must be dominant in the outside world, and then submissive in intimate settings, you've got a schizophrenic of some sort. People don't just "change" who they are. I know, in BDSM you get Bottoms who are C-level executives, but I can't see that working; the concept of "topping from the bottom" is the first thought I have. In fact, the Submissive is the one in control.... They get to decide when it stops.

So...
That doesn't work outside the scene.

I've decided it's time to end the mess. I don't know how to do this, other than be blunt. But the relationship hasn't been working for me, and it's not likely to improve. If you can't talk to the SO, who have that SO? If the SO just says, "Go see a counselor," while they might be right in one sense: Go talk to someone who is knowledgeable - at the same time, shouldn't you be able to discuss things with the SO? shouldn't there be trust between you? (We've already had that discussion.)
If I told her up front I want a woman, and when she comes in, she goes butch for 8 years...?
Insists on doing things herself, then complains no one helps her? And if you do help, complains it's not done right?

This isn't calculus, I think.
Surviving the aftermath might be...


But she had what seemed like a heart attack over the weekend; I'm going grey and losing hair. I KNOW we're both stressed from this "togetherness." And I know I don't want the noise, or the "joined at the hip" togetherness. It would be different, I think, if she would work with me. I had two girlfriends who did that; they were NOT slaves by any means. Not doormats. One an accountant, one a nurse, the second a long-term relationship where we talked marriage...
And I took out the trash gladly, and I cooked with her, and if it got burned because I wanted to dance with her? So what, I eat it burned, happily, or we go out. Being with her was a joy, except my family didn't like her...
Then, after breaking that off, I got into this relationship, thinking it was a short-term thing. I helped her stabilize herself financially; I helped her daughter with braces; I financed the custody battle, the downpayment on the house, and the constant electronic replacements... And I became resentful, because she was walking all over em, and would do whatever she wanted - there was ALWAYS money in the bank, except there wasn't money to pay the tolls and buy gas to get to work...

Anyway, I'm rambling, and I think I stated the resolution.
When it's done, it's done. I just need to "nut up" and call it - because, at 52, and 5' 6", and 260 pounds, and a propensity for bringing in goodies as soon as I start to lose the weight (I'm 222 now... from 240; she bought a Tiramisu over the weekend, then didn't want any.)

Well, she's past the wall by quite a bit.
And when I was on Pharma HRT, I could still get it up for the Ex...
But WITHOUT pharma HRT, he shrivels at this one's touch...


Yeah, I guess it's time to be a man.


Dd

I forgot the question , I was going to ask if anyone had experimented with penis enlargement...

[The First Aria]

Take it with a grain of salt. But if you look on the internet you find lots of guys who have powerful jobs in the real world, but yet surrender entirely to their spouse when at home.

From doing most of the "chores" (housework) to taking a sub servant role in the bedroom. And the greater majority prefer it that way. Many say it's a way for them to escape the real world while other's say that was how it was when they grew up.

Here is my take on it. If it works for you, then what the hell?? Right?

But by the same token, if you don't likey, then get the hell out!.

And Dianna the above is by no means pointed at you. There are various form of being in "role reversal" situation. Even when guys complain, is that NOT a form of our discussion?