[cravenbreast]

41 yo avid nipple pumper and now branching into breast enhancement.

Have tried herbal routes (PM/FG) a few times but not diligent in practice over the last year. So now starting up again with PM/FG, Progesterone, Wild Yam creams, Noogleberry and massage.

Ultimate goal is to gain breast tissue and hopefully lactate eventually. Still want to remain functional as a male and comfortable in my kinks and overall sexual identity (somewhat since I'm pursing this)

Just wanted to introduce myself and absolutely so ecstatic to find a community like this for like-minded people!

[cravenbreast]

So I decided to take a moment last night to articulate my reasons for pursuing NBE. 

Hopefully someone finds something in sharing it. 

As a gay male, I have had a variety of experiences and explored many fetishes.

Growing up in an ultra masculine environment really didn't help me express who I wanted to be. But as I grew older I found breasts alluring and yet, had never touched a females breast. Of course with men we tend to have muscled chests etc. However I always liked the idea that men can parade around huge muscles and yet the shape and size of a females breasts were always incredibly beautiful. I've always had a hard time with developing muscles so I couldn't get the male muscular identity part of my identity realized. I've always been relatively flat chested embarrassed by my lack of a ideal male form (thanks body dysmorphia). My desire to be a male with female presenting breasts only increased when I stripped away the societal norms and cast off the embedded "this is what a man is" rearing to just decide to identify and be what makes me happy.


The journey however is a not too foreign one, from what I've seen but we all have our individual footsteps to get on this path.

So like many others it started with nipple play. I have always had a huge connection to them, pierced close to 6 times each and love pain and body modification. I started pumping them occasionally for a couple of years until I found a community and porn star known for their nipples (if you know, you know.) and then it became an extreme growth exercise for years! This was even before I knew how to pursue developing breasts I had no idea what was even calling in the back of my mind. The desire to grow my nipples led to the desire to lactate. Which brought that tiny thought behind my nipple fetish to seek out a way to achieve the look I desired. I sought like minded men in the saline community which opened my eyes to seeing representations of what I connected together in my mind. This  led to me performing saline infusions on my chest. I saw myself finally. I saw the comfort. I experienced the erotic and liberating feeling of finally seeing a version of myself that I guess I always desired. And finally this brought me to considering a permanent change to my body. I didn't want to spend my life living through those temporary tasks of just pumping nipples or only performing an Infusion to be content with the image of myself which made me happy.

Did that mean I was transgender?
Am I nonbinary?
Am I gender fluid?
How will seriously pursuing this hurt my life, marriage, partner, family?

These questions caused me to have a mental breakdown. Because I think my brain finally flipped a switch that gave me permission to be a gay male who wishes to pursue this journey to remain a fully functioning male but with breasts.

How long will it take? I don't know.
Will I get it right the first time? I doubt it.
But in my mind, I absolutely will pursue this because it means I'd feel like I'd be fixing a part of my identity per se and reconciling my mind and body from the over 40 years of displeasure I've had looking in the mirror.

What size is the right size? I don't know but I'm keen to see how large my mind has identified as "The right size".

I've started NBE a few times over the last couple of years bought supplements, started but never stuck with them but this year I decided to take it seriously. I doubted I had the preferred brands or dosages right ideally based on where I live but I was going to "DO" something! And then I found this forum, and places like fetlife that had communities for people like us. I feel even more motivated to pursue this physical change. It might be "pink fog", I believe I'm using the term right (so many short hand phrasing to get my head around) which is driving my obsession with achieving results and trying everything to get to who I see myself as physically.

I have no desire to transition to female but I would like to have breasts in my appearance. We'll see how this goes.

[tomi66]

Welcome to the forum. There's lots of good information and good people here to help .

[cravenbreast]

thanks tomi!

It's overwhelming honestly so I'm trying to review and take notes and plan to pivot when I get a suitable understanding of what the hell I'm actually doing or rather understand how my body considers what I'm doing. lol