in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts.  I started the thread to maybe get a little support, not to talk about guys being attracted to breasts and whatever else y'all rambling about.   I have my opinions on this topic.  But I will keep them to myself. or maybe start a new thread on it.

(...Lots of text...)


Sending hugs to Heaven's Night. I feel you.

This is exactly what I had in mind. I'm just often too tired to explain it all like to a five year old.

The notion that I should stop posting here (or elsewhere?) because putting my body on display means I will be objectified is misogynist and patriarchal as fuck. As in "women better hide or else, she's asking for it." You know, these things certain kinds of people absolutely love to throw around. 

Anyway, this is enough off topic, so lets stop it right here. This subject can be discussed elsewhere unless it gets super mega toxic.

Also, questioning my sex and gender identity is weird af, its completely unnecessary because everybody knows I'm a woman. Stop othering me, I'm not an other, not third sex, not some goddamn fucktoy. I'm an intersex transsexual woman. This is not up to a debate, not for questioning, not for any type of othering. Especially at this day and age when hating everything non cis is propaganted like the next awesome cool nazi hatecunt thing.

in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts.  I started the thread to maybe get a little support

I hope you can get communication flowing. It gets harder and harder for other people on the receiving end to process the info-bomb, the more stuff is bottled up before going off. I'm no saint in this, and have started working on it somewhat consciously during the last few years. I mean I've started sharing more and more about my inner stuff with my partner - I think we have always shared everything, but we don't tend to include closet-skeletons in "everything". Everyday, casual stuff like telling her more about what I like & so on, and she has also usually shared more about her stuff. Many things that I've just assumed about the other person, but found out that it's not all black and white, never is. And people sometimes can seem really strict or orthodox about stuff when they scoff one-liners about news or whatnot, but then having a conversation about the topic reveals they have pretty nuanced views on stuff and it just comes out really bluntly.

What I mean to say, my 2 eurocents, you don't have to set off a huge blast by blurting a confession out of thin air - the other person has probably no idea where it's coming from, and the info bomb itself (not the subject of it) might be the thing that starts upsetting them, secret-keeping, worry about the other person's well-being, worry about their motivations, fear of not knowing the other person after all etc. From your posts I remember reading that you've brought the subject up sometimes but since you still have some cold feet about it, makes me think there might be a large enough gap between what you two have talked about and what the reality of the matter is. These gaps are what separates us from other people, and have to be crossed from both sides, meaning you need to build knowledge about the other person, but also yourself. The gaps are made as much from self-doubt as doubts about the other person.

I'd think once you two are close enough bridging that gap, the "I grew these myself because (...)" should come out pretty naturally, almost without thinking.

in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts.  I started the thread to maybe get a little support

I hope you can get communication flowing. It gets harder and harder for other people on the receiving end to process the info-bomb, the more stuff is bottled up before going off. I'm no saint in this, and have started working on it somewhat consciously during the last few years. I mean I've started sharing more and more about my inner stuff with my partner - I think we have always shared everything, but we don't tend to include closet-skeletons in "everything". Everyday, casual stuff like telling her more about what I like & so on, and she has also usually shared more about her stuff. Many things that I've just assumed about the other person, but found out that it's not all black and white, never is. And people sometimes can seem really strict or orthodox about stuff when they scoff one-liners about news or whatnot, but then having a conversation about the topic reveals they have pretty nuanced views on stuff and it just comes out really bluntly.

What I mean to say, my 2 eurocents, you don't have to set off a huge blast by blurting a confession out of thin air - the other person has probably no idea where it's coming from, and the info bomb itself (not the subject of it) might be the thing that starts upsetting them, secret-keeping, worry about the other person's well-being, worry about their motivations, fear of not knowing the other person after all etc. From your posts I remember reading that you've brought the subject up sometimes but since you still have some cold feet about it, makes me think there might be a large enough gap between what you two have talked about and what the reality of the matter is. These gaps are what separates us from other people, and have to be crossed from both sides, meaning you need to build knowledge about the other person, but also yourself. The gaps are made as much from self-doubt as doubts about the other person.

I'd think once you two are close enough bridging that gap, the "I grew these myself because (...)" should come out pretty naturally, almost without thinking.

Thanks Nephele, you are correct about the communication.  Neither of us are good at communicating.  There is more to story than just me growing breasts.  I have accumulated a lot of secrets over the year hiding an addiction.  I started seeing a therapist a few months ago and for the first time really started opening up to my wife about things.  Some of them were hard conversations, but I feel we are more connected and stronger now than we have been in a long time.  I am at the point I want her to know every little good and bad thing about me.  She knows and I in therapy and going to meetings. She knows I have a long list of secrets I need to share with her soon.  Secrets I am extremely embarrassed to say out loud.  I have told her a couple things on my list. She has been amazingly supportive about everything.  

I really feel based on her past responses she will continue to be supportive. The only thing on the list that stresses me out is the breasts.  She is fine with my breasts thinking I had no control over it. I am just worried what she will think we she knows I did it on purpose.  And worried what she thinks when I tell her I like them. And kind of want them bigger.